LET A CHRISTIAN SEX-E-BOOK TEACH YOU EVERYTHING


As Christian's we're taught (and firmly believe) that sex is something that should only be shared between a husband and a wife in their marriage bed. What we're never taught is what we're supposed to do once we get there! Sex is a beautiful thing that we're meant to enjoy, but even in the most loving marriage sex can grow stale over time. It pays to know how to pleasure your partner, but most of the sex books available on the contemporary market involve enough unspeakables that you're almost embarrassed to look!

Find your answers in a Christian sex e-book.

Often within the church a sort of taboo develops when it comes to discussing sex. Many couples have questions, but they're scared and embarrassed to go to their fellow parishioners and don't feel comfortable perusing literature like the Kama Sutra or the pornographic literature that passes for educational books in many bookstores. So where are young couples supposed to turn to find the answers they're looking for?

By investing in a Christian sex e-book you will be assured that you're reading a tasteful piece of literature that was designed with the married couple in mind and adheres strictly to the guidelines of what the Lord states is acceptable between a man and woman. This gives you the chance to quietly and anonymously learn everything you've ever wanted to know about how to please your partner, how to make the transition from friends to lovers as smooth as possible and how to keep the spice in your marriage bed, whether you've been married for five years or fifty.

The Lord made our bodies to enjoy sex, and when a man and a woman enter into the marriage covenant the possibilities that presents itself are amazing and not just for their potential to bring children into the world either! While children are a gift, the first gift you and your spouse bring to your marriage bed is each other. It's important that you learn to love and enjoy each other, and a Christian sex e-book can help you do that without exposing you to pictures, ideas and suggestions that no one was ever meant to see.

The bottom line? Don't be afraid to ask your questions. The answers you find might just surprise you. There's nothing wrong with wanting a little spice in your sex life. It's good for you and your spouse, satisfying both your emotional and physical needs and keeping both of your eyes firmly where they belong; on each other.

HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP LAST FOREVER

Love is like a circle: it has no beginning and it has no end. Each day has its own cycle, as do months, years and lifetimes. Every single day is complete within itself and is a key part of the greater cycles of years and lifetimes. When we get trapped in a linear trajectory of life as if it has an end, we lose sight of the importance of every moment; we lose sight of the importance of every thought. As an individual you choose whether you wish to be a victim of the moment or the master of it. It is your choice as to which thoughts will flow through your mind and it is your thoughts that will determine your own destiny. You have the power.
The idea of controlling one's mind is not new, but it has become very confused. If you think of yourself as the mind, you give away all the power to control it. But when you recognize that you, the essential you, is spiritual - the soul - you realize the power to control the mind is natural.
To make a relationship last, infuse love for your spouse every moment and with as many thoughts as you can. Replace those nasty thoughts of criticism with loving thoughts of praise and support. Make each day one filled with thoughts of wanting to please your spouse by giving love in sincere and beautiful ways. Waste no thoughts on ugliness and selfishness. Make all thoughts beautiful flowers in the garden of your mind, and always remember to tell your spouse, "I love you.

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE

When they fall in love, people marry

Discussion a number of issues is going the extra mile in your marriage and will be greatly appreciated by your spouse.

Are there symptoms and signs of impending marital disasters?

If your spouse is becoming apathetic, this could be a sign of a marriage crisis. If your spouse stays on one side of the bed while sleeping and intimacy has become a forgotten item on your agenda then this is a red big flag that your marriage is falling apart. Of course, this is reliable and scientifically tested, but it is worth the try. Married couples tend to only hear what their spouse is saying and they don't truly listen with their ears or their hearts to one another which will lead to a divorce eventually. If your spouse agrees with you all the time now and has little attention of matters that used to throw them in a fit then you need to sit down together and talk about what's wrong in order to save the marriage. Before this painful moment of truth that your spouse is leaving you, there were probably signs of your spouse's departure beforehand. Has your spouse taken you for granted.

What are you to do when you are at the brink of marriage?

The opportunity to react is ever present. And the internet offers many resources without cost, you just have to surf to their website, their inputs will serve as your line of defense to combat marital crisis. The reason is still there which you will have to recall. When you read it, it is not good enough, so you tear it up and write a better one. They are the impulsive reactions of people who do not take time to think and assess their situations.

Are there common reactions felt in a marital crisis?

You will rely on time because it is a great healer. Myth 2. This is the most damaging causing people to procrastinate and react properly.

How do I save my marriage after my husband committed infidelity?

Here are some helpful pieces of advice. Changes in both you will give a better chance for your relationship to survive. Let your spouse lay their cards on the table and tell you their side of the story.

What are some helpful guidelines for a happy marriage?

Couples do no always engage in rational discussion. Recall the memories of your courtship, relive the thrill and excitement you shared on your dates, the places you have visited and your honeymoon. They should avoid common behavior that is likely to make a dent in their relationship, this harmful behavior must stop. If you love each other, there is no barrier that can break the knot. Never break a promise although you are likely to believe that promises are made to be broken. Be a dependable spouse, keep your promises otherwise she/he will lose trust. Sometimes relationships are lost because the individual fears to face the truth.

It is possible for you to preserve your marriage?

Make your spouse your number 1 priority over your kids and work. Take that action now. Time heals is true in most circumstances but not for a marital crisis. The convincing is in your hands. But remember that in the future, it will only be the two of you. Things will not work out by themselves, you have to take a hand. Marriage experts mention that there is more than one path, possibly 8.

Is marriage worth saving?

You just have to take the first step. You will be a better person, parent and spouse. You will have to learn on your own and utilize the available resources around you.

CULTIVATING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IN MARRIAGE

To foster good realtionships in marriage, it is important to have forecast. Sometimes when challenges arise in a relationship those who are unable to cope choose the easy way out; and that is to breakup. To avoid this it is important to prepare yourself for the challenges ahead that are bound to rock your marriage.

Whenever problems occur, the attraction and appreciation that was once there in most cases is lost. During these times you may view your partner more of a burden than an asset. However, true love is not mere attraction. It is a choice which you have to make and stand with your partner in order to establish good relationships in marriage. I state this because it is not every day that your partner will do you good. At times he/she will make mistakes and you will have to be patient and tolerant in order for things to work out.

Communication is the key to success relationships in marriage. When you communicate your needs, you make it easier for your partner to better understand you. You can never find a perfect spouse; therefore you must be ready to forego what your partner cannot offer. In fact, you should always concentrate on making your spouse happy and this way you will build a health reletionship.

You must also be able to appreciate your spouse by little actions that send a big message. Do not get tired of appreciating your partner if you really want to build healthy relationships in marriage. Avoid being too over-confident or taking your spouse commitment for granted. You may just end up regretting it for the rest of your life. Therefore, handle relationships in marriage carefully and you will definitely enjoy the company of your spouse.

Read more valuable tips of establishing Healthy Relationships in Marriage.

QUALITIES MEN LOVE IN A WIFE

One thing that may be a common turn off for men is neediness and dependency. Women are famous for being more emotional, jealous and unstable when it comes to relationships and dating, men frequently find these traits to be one of the biggest problems they are facing and reasons that they'll break up with a girlfriend. One of the most common examples of neediness are phone calls. A girl will call many times before man answers and will sit by the phone, fretting as to why he may not of called and what he's thinking regarding her telephone calls. Really, a person is thinking little about the problem. Men will instantly make the presumption that this girl is controlling and insecure with herself, not a great recipe for romance.

The reason that many women act like this in relationships is due to the fact that they have been left before and are scared of a similar situation happening that may cause them pain. The problem happens when the girls begin to act more needy, push the new man away and then buttress her fear of being left. Once a girl has got onto this dangerous cycle, it is not straightforward to recover and build up their self-worth and self confidence once more. While it may seem easy, many women who behave in a pathetic and insecure fashion are aware of it, though still cannot seem to find a way to stop these unwelcome and damaging habits. The reaction a girl in this type of mind set can have to an unanswered phone call can be similar to a panic attack which causes a great amount of agitation and stress. The other side of the neediness coin is of course, playing tough to get. Some ladies believe that seeming to be not available will make them more tasty to men.

The belief in 'playing tough to get' stems from the concept that men like the chase and will only remain interested so long as there's a target which they have to get and a challenge that has not been met. Even though this has shown to work during the past, it isn't an attractive quality to a man with healthy self esteem. Neither of these two personality features are interesting to men or girls in any kind of relationship and it is important to understand that they only way of securing an enduring and trusting relationship is to find a half way mark and retain a healthy respect and communication with any partner. Trust will build up thru time and when you get to know a husband or fiance you'll find that there isn't any need for pretence or mistrust of any kind. Isn't better then to start off as you mean to go on? By respecting a relationship from the very first date without any ploys, tricks and plans is a much better way to discover a happy, content and loving relationship with a great guy.

FOUR FUNDAMENTALS FOR SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

You may be reading a wedding planning book or you may be looking back upon your wedding.

Underlying every aspect of the wedding is the expectation of marriage. This expectation may be founded on the right principles or flawed in some way. But in any case you can make your relationship right.

You can establish a foundation that will bless for a lifetime.

The struggle for human rights is an ongoing fight well worth fighting. Men often joke about marriage being legalize male slavery, but often the opposite has been reality. Many women have suffered terrible abuses in the name of marriage.

The cause of freedom and justice continues across America and the world. Perhaps that battle is even more obvious in our homes. The very nature of marriage and family life are threatened by the thirst for equality and domination. Political and social forces reach into every part of our lives. Some of this may be good, but some also disrupts the operational relationships of the family.

How does all of this affect our marriages and homes? Apparently, it has affected thousands of homes as indicated by the over half of first marriages and over two thirds of second marriages ending in divorce.

Where can we find foundational principles to guide us in our marriages? As a Christian minister, I have discovered some critical principles revealed in the Bible, however, I have been pleasantly surprised to find that these same ideas are also recommended by many of the authorities today on success in marriage.

Principle A: Husbands and wives are not the same, but in marriage they must share mutually to insure success. Whenever one or the other holds back, both suffer. Whenever one or the other oppresses, both suffer. Only when husband and wife freely give their love, their work, or their lives to each other mutually can they be assured of marital success.

Rule two: Man is charged with the task of leadership to the couple and family. Leadership sets the standards, values, priorities, and direction for the marriage and family socially, morally, economically, and spiritually. Effective leadership demands sensitivity to his followers, partners, and subordinates. To fulfill his leadership responsibilities, he must consider the needs, wants, and ideas of his wife being willing to sacrifice his own desires to meet her needs.

A leader protects those he leads. He avoids putting his family and his marriage at risk. He sacrifices his own desires, needs, or welfare in order to keep his family safe. Threats may come in many forms, but the husband leader remains the steady defender of his home.

Third Rule : Husbands provide. Husbands work to provide food, clothing, and shelter for his family. It is his responsibility to provide for his marriage and family. This means he must give his time and energy to earning a living, providing a home, supplying the basic needs of his home. He must willingly sacrifice himself, his sweat, his best efforts to meet his family's needs. A wife who joins in to help her husband gives him precious support.

Rule D: Companionship is the mission of a wife. Her duty is to join her husband to mutually pursue the dreams of marriage and family. Honor, respect, and assistance are the wife's critical contribution. She needs to willingly give herself to meet her husband's most basic needs.

An abusive husband may abuse his wife, but a beloved wife freely shares her life, gives her love, and sacrifices herself for the welfare of her marriage and family. Giving always blesses. Giving always uplifts. Giving always blesses. Giving always strengthens marriages.

Subjection and oppression ruin marriages. Dictatorial tyranny destroys. A man who behaves in such a way, cripples his marriage. On the other hand, a husband who loves his wife will listen intently to her and respond with self sacrificing generosity. A wife who truly loves her husband will honor his efforts, encourage and respect him, and stand with him against all the pressures of the world.

Make sure your wedding vow speaks endeering truths. Study wedding planning books to get useful ideas.

When husband fulfills his role as defined by these Biblical principles, the marriage and family are blessed.

Marriages thrive when wives dedicate themselves to their husbands standing with them and for them.

This is not as much a matter of bondage or freedom as it is a matter of mutuality, leadership, and giving to advance the welfare of the whole family. Marriage requires serious effort. To learn more about the fundamental commitments made when a man and woman marry, explore the vast resources available to you through the resources below.

Instruct those who are to make your all important wedding toast to express the same values and principles that will sustain your marriage for a lifetime.

A DAY AT THE BEACH

Remember when you were single? A day at the beach meant calling a few friends, grabbing your towel and heading out. That all changed when the kids came along. Now, preparing takes almost as long as the drive there. You have to lather them with sunscreen, since it is better to let it soak in a bit before heading out into the sun. Then get them into their swimsuits. Of course, as soon as the suit is on, Sally needs to use the bathroom. Okay, take it off again and then put it back on.

Now for gathering the toys. Billy wants the blue pail and shovel, but all you can find is the red one. That will not do. He has a little tantrum and says in that case, he's not going. Somehow you manage to convince him the red one is much better. Sally hears this and decides she wants the red pail and shovel too. A small fight breaks out and you start wondering why you wanted to go to the beach in the first place.

But you do want to go and so do the kids. So you pack a lunch, because you know as soon as you get there, even though they have already had lunch, they will want a drink or a snack. But they can't go in the water after eating. By the time you explain to them why they can't go in the water, sufficient time has passed and they now can. Of course, this confuses them more. So you spend another half hour explaining why it's okay now.

After all is said and done, you have a great day. Just seeing how happy they are and how fascinated they are with the lake, you realize, spending a day at the beach with the kids is much more fun than it used be with your friends.

GOOD RELATIONSHIPS MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON

Human beings do not exist in an individual vacuum any more than the other species of animal or bird who live on this planet. We are social in nature and our basic and primary instinct of survival tells us that we need a mate in order to fulfill that very task.

And as a matter of day to day survival we know that we need more than just that mate to enable an easier and safer way of living. It is extremely difficult, in fact virtually impossible, to survive for very long alone. Solitary confinement is one of the harshest punishments which can be meted out to a human being. We rely on social interaction and approval to feel a positive sense of self.

Relationships are massively important to us; relationships with our spouse, parents, children and associates all contribute to how we feel in our daily world. Good relationships provide a good feeling, encouraging sensations of peace, harmony, well-being and success. When involved in a good relationship it is easy to become a better person; it is easier to be patient and tolerant and encouraging to others.

When you look around you at what is happening in contemporary day to day life in the Western World, you see many examples of intolerance and impatience. I was on a train this morning and overheard the lady in front of me saying that she was unable to get on the previous three trains as she had a suitcase with her and not one single person had made any effort to help or to make way for her. Imagine that! This is a very sad and sorry state of affairs.

In a lot of ways I think this is a reflection of the way in which close relationships and family units have broken down. Few marriages last; few couples remain together. And when you are not in a good close relationship the tendency is to feel lonely and alone, vulnerable and therefore defensive. When you feel defensive you are less likely to reach out to others to proffer a helping hand; instead the tendency is to withdraw and to retreat. You do not have the same store of good feelings which you could otherwise share with the world around you.

The negative impact upon society is great when a lot of people withdraw and become intolerant and impatient. One has to fight those feelings of loneliness and vulnerability. One has to remember that in general what you give out you get back. In learning to be tolerant and patient, you give out good vibes which attract good things into your life, including good relationships. If you would like to attract your soul mate, and keep your soul mate, make sure the vibes you put out are the ones which you would like to be given back to you in that relationship.

Good relationships not only set the scene to make you a better person, the positive feelings which are created permeate throughout the world around you, promoting peace and harmony; a sense of caring and being cared for, being thoughtful towards others and receiving thoughtfulness in return.

Hypnosis downloads can be very effective in helping a person to feel relaxed and comfortable, confident and therefore more tolerant; they can help you to create good relationships and to attract your soul mate into your life.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads to help create good relationships.

P.S. Why not grab a free hypnosis download from my website and discover how easy it is relax and feel good about yourself?

GET YOUR LOVABLE BACK

One good thing you can do to reflect is to go out and meet with your family and friends. Make up for those people whom you unintentionally set aside when you were still in a relationship. Share your thoughts and feelings with them. Tell them about your plans of winning your ex back. Just share it with them. You don't always have to justify your thoughts neither would you have to ask them for advice. Just express your thoughts. Things may seem different when they are only a concept in your head. They may give you a new meaning once you hear yourself speaking about them.

Do you still look like a mess as if the break-up just happened last night? Have you stopped drinking and locking yourself up in your room? If your ex sees you right now, do you think you would make a lovely sight or are you a disaster? Try to remember how your ex first fell in love with you. Do you still look as good? If no, do something about it! After looking at yourself, look into yourself. Are you the same person your ex enjoyed being with during the earlier part of the relationship? If not, what could have happened along the way?

When you are already sitting face to face with him, ask him how he's been. Tell him the reason why you wanted to talk. Be honest. Express your feelings clearly. Try not to sound pitiful neither demanding. Tell him that you simply want to tell him how you feel and that you will respect whatever he thinks about it. Once he sees that you genuinely wants him back and that you are willing to work harder to make your relationship last, he surely would not think twice in giving you another chance.

Do not try calling her over and over to get her back, it does not work. Men do not understand that women fall back in love with men that they miss. When she realizes your not there, in her life anymore, she will want you back. If you still love your ex girlfriend, tell yourself not to talk to her at this time. If you have to get help from friends to help you not to talk to her, then do it. In most cases the woman will call you in a couple weeks, wanting to know what you are up to. When this happens, you are well on the way to getting back together.

If you can react this way, you will be pulling the power in the relationship back to yourself. She is not expecting you to agree with her about the breakup, this will cause her to feel you where about to breakup with her. This will start to eat at her and make her wonder what she did wrong. Do not be surprised if she gets emotional on you and wants to know what she did wrong. Just tell her you think a break would be good for both of you. Don't get too close to other girls. It's okay to socialize with girls. It will indicate to her that you've moved on but at the same time if you are in a relationship with a girl, she'll snub you out of contention even if she wants you.

Your ex might continue to hang out with this same group as you. You could even bump into each other when you both seek comfort with your mutual acquaintances. This doesn't mean, when you're moving on, that you must lose your good friends. But it will be difficult to maintain some friendships after you and your ex have split.

PLANNING A WEDDING FROM YOUR COMPUTER

You have been dreaming of this day your entire life! For some it is a dream of bliss and happiness where everything is white and floral. For the majority of us, however, weddings are the most stressful experience we will go through.

Being one of the most important events of your life you want to make it special. Everything has to be just right and most importantly you have to enjoy it all. This last point should also apply to planning your special day. There is no point in spending weeks being stressed and upset leading up to your big day. It will only take away the magic of the event for you.

What Are Your Options

There are a few options available to you. Weddings are one of the biggest markets in the world and there are numerous companies who will offer to plan your whole day for you (For a cost, of course).

You could always try and do everything yourself and go from shop to shop for each item. This can take lot of time and not many of us have spare few weeks to spend discussing options with florists and bakers. Not to mention tracking down The Perfect Wedding Outfit!

What Are E-Weddings?

The internet has made everyone's life easier. It is much quicker to shop; you have access to hundreds of online 'shop windows' and shopping sprees that used to take hours earlier now take minutes. You can buy everything for your wedding from shopping online and save a lot more than time! It is often cheaper shopping online, and there are some great bargains to be had if you know where to look.

Stuck For Ideas?

It happens to everyone. There are so many weddings every year that you are in fix over how to make yours special? A sure way to drive yourself insane is to sit with a pen and paper and try to plan your whole day out. You need help, inspiration, and guidance. Luckily, there are websites set up with people in your situation in mind.

Log on to get ideas on the best wedding favors. Learn how to impress your guests with a choreographed dance routine, and much more. You can even get advice on how to plan your day on a budget. Let's face it; it is all too easy to get carried away.

Bidding And Auction Sites

It has been a while since all you could buy on bidding sites such as eBay, were second items. Many companies display their wares on sites such as these and there are even entire sites dedicated to handmade items. Searching through these sites for items perfect for weddings can be difficult, that is why there are wedding sites that simply display the best items from a range of internet sites. This way you get to browse the best of the best on one website saving a lot of valuable time.

HOW TO STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM OR HER

Dreams can be extremely enlightening, so long as you attend to the emotional messages which they convey. A friend was recounting a dream the other day which told a familiar tale; she dreamed that she had bumped into her boyfriend who she had recently split up from, and he looked like a tanned and muscular God.

You know what it's like when you have just broken up with someone and it wasn't your choice. You just can't stop yourself from thinking about them, running through in your mind all of those good times when they were so sweet or looked so cute...you try to distract yourself and keep busy all of the time, but find yourself talking about that person at every opportunity. And then you go to bed and toss and turn, seeing their face clearly in the darkness of your room, eventually falling asleep only to find them sneaking into your dreams as well.

At a later date you look back and wonder how you could have felt so bad, but at the time your emotions make you feel ship-wrecked. If you haven't already seen the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" then I can highly recommend it. You'll see the whole cycle of emotions in the raw, and with a good dose of humour. It feels good to see someone come out of this tunnel of despair and become a stronger person because of it.

There are few people who have not experienced these emotions and we all would have liked to fast-forward through this process. If only you could have that person's face, voice and smell surgically removed from your brain, you'd happily pay to have the job done. You just want to bin that person from your mind.

You can in fact do just this, so long as you know how your mind works. The dream which I mentioned before provides great insight into the mysteries of the human mind and therefore teaches us how to guide our minds in a different direction. In the dream this person was depicted as tanned, tall and muscled; in reality he was lily white and average in most ways. He was seen symbolically enhanced so that he was a magnificent creature, placed upon a pedestal high above the rest of humanity. This of course visually and symbolically expressed the emotions of missing him and thinking that no one else could be as good. He was irreplacable.

When you dream your mind is resolving conflicting emotions; this is the job which dreaming does. It shows us how our minds work, and how visual images can be used to express and enhance emotions. Conversely it also teaches us how you can use a similar process to minimize emotions. This is the flip side of the coin.

If you want to stop thinking about that person and place their memory in the bin, it is a simple process to visualize them in a different way. Instead of making them big and tanned, or cute and beautiful, what's stopping you from shrinking them down in size or turning them into a toad? You could perhaps imagine them in a big balloon with their features all squashed up inside and you able to bat that balloon up into the air and off on the breeze. Another image which works fantastically well is to just crumple them up in your mind like a piece of trash and throw it into the bin.

Your imagination is limitless. There are endless ways in which you can fade out these images of that person who you just want to bin. Once you find an image which appeals, you will be amazed how quickly and easily you can change your emotions and get over that broken relationship.

Hypnosis is extremely powerful in this process. First, it relaxes you and calms you down. Your emotional feathers will be smoothed and your wounds licked. Second, hypnosis provides access to your subconscious mind which is the part that acts automatically. This allows you to more easily change deep rooted behaviors and emotions. Third, you will find that your imagination is enhanced and you more easily create strong and powerful visual images, equally powerful as those which you are aware of when you dream.

You can get a free hypnosis mp3 from my website and try it for yourself.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads to help you to move on after a broken relationship.

OVERCOMING LOW ESTEEM BY BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS

If you are a victim of low esteem then you must read this article. Your life is usually defined by the choices you make as an individual which are in turn determined by a variety of factors one being your personality.



While individual personalities and opinions differ a lot, one requisite characteristic for all is the courage to make the hard choices of life. It is said that success comes to those who have the guts to go the hard way in search for glory.

Success is a product of a dream; a vision which means a plan, having goals. Each individual must always ensure that their goals are well defined and achievable. They should develop self check mechanisms to ensure that they remain on course to achieve their goals and to detect any deviations thus overcome low esteem. It is natural that whenever you walk in purpose, your self-esteem is established.

Your self-esteem determines your attitude and your relationship with your friends. For a healthy relationship with them and overcoming low esteem, be self-confident and be ambitious in life. Share your aspirations with them and this way you will have a greater desire to succeed in life, as you will feel challenged. Your choice of friends will also determine your confidence as some will be discouragers while others are motivators.

Make friends with go-getters, those who will revolutionize your thinking and challenge you .You must also note that those friends whom you like a lot or you seem to share so much fun together may not necessarily be the best for you. You may be spending a good time with them, but their lack of motivation will be an indirect discouragement and this might lead to low esteem.

It is thus vital to realize that, high self-esteem is fundamental to a healthy, respectful and lasting relationship with one another.

For you to relate with others well and be ready to share your opinions you need to have a high self esteem.

Read more insightful tips of overcoming low esteem by following the links below.

WHY DO WE FEAR LOVE?

Why do we fear close relationships? Although we want to love and be loved, we also fear both. Our past experiences have programmed us to associate loving and being loved with unpleasant experiences and especially with feelings of vulnerability. For these and other reasons, we have developed fears and subconscious resistance concerning getting very close to another, opening our hearts and exposing our needs, fears and feelings. These fears are a major obstacle toward creating harmonious love relationships, especially with a romantic love partner. Obviously, if we are affected by such fears, we will develop various defense mechanisms and even behaviors that will sabotage the relationships we are supposedly seeking to create or improve. When we are defensive, we are unpleasant and unloving. A lack of love attracts the same. Openness and love attracts love. What are some of those fears? 1. We feel vulnerable and are afraid of being hurt if we are open and loving and thus prefer to keep an emotional distance. In such a case we need to remember that love never creates our pain. Attachment, expectation and needing the other are the cause of our pain. When we love purely without becoming dependent on the other, there can be no pain. There is a difference between codependency and love, which we will discuss in a later chapter. . 2. We do not want to give others the idea that they can do whatever they like with us. Our fear of being controlled causes us to be unnecessarily defensive and unwilling to give and serve the other when appropriate. Being able to say "no" and lovingly and respectfully establishing healthy and fair boundaries is an essential part of a truthful loving relationship. Getting free from the fear of being controlled and learning to willing and lovingly give to the other what he or she needs is also important. 3. We would like them first to ask for forgiveness or at least realize their mistakes. Placing prerequisites on our forgiveness is not actually forgiveness. We are the ones who are suffering from our negative feelings associated with not being able to forgive and love. We are the ones who benefit by forgiving and loving. By not forgiving and loving, we are punishing ourselves, not the others. By not forgiving and loving, we are missing an opportunity to learn and grow emotionally and spiritually. 4. We fear we will lose control over them by letting them be too relaxed with us. Controlling others with negative emotions and a lack of love is more harmful to us that to others. We need to choose between control games and love. Do we want to play these control games or risk losing control and experience pure love? This is our choice. 5. We want to place the blame for our dissatisfaction with ourselves or our lives on someone else who is "responsible". We also need to choose between hiding behind the illusion that someone else can be held responsible for our reality, including being held to blame when things go wrong, and moving forward and taking responsibility for our past and present reality. Making a choice here to move forward and take responsibility for our own reality secures us the power to create the reality we prefer. Blaming others for what we are not satisfied with will never improve our reality. We simply condemn ourselves to stagnation, loneliness and unhappiness. 6. We falsely believe that love requires that we must let this person do whatever he or she wants - regardless of ethics or justice - and that this would be totally unacceptable. We have already explained that this is a mistaken perception of love and forgiveness. We not only have the right but also the obligation to expect, request and at times even demand that the other interacts ethically and justly with us. This can be done with love and respect towards the other and ourselves. 7. We have identified with the role of the victim and need to feel hurt and abused. Many seek to find their self-worth in the role of the victim or abused. The reasoning is like this. "I am the victim which means that the other is bad and I am good and thus worthy. As long as I am the victim, I am worthy." We also have the mistaken idea that we are right when we are angry. Thus we find reasons to feel hurt and angry and then we feel worthy and right. The role of the angry victim get a "double dose". 8. We are in the role of the interrogator and need to find others' faults. Control games never bring lasting happiness. Love does. Do we want to find fault in the others or create loving relationships? Do we want to be right or be loved? 9. We are afraid of expressing love, because we fear that there will not be an adequate response from others and we will feel rejected. This is a chance we might need to take. When we express love and interest, we might receive the response we need or we might not. This does not make us less worthy. Our self-worth is based on our being and not on how others respond or not. It is much more important to love than be loved. We can always love - that is in our control. We cannot always be loved. 10. We cannot believe that others could possibly love us. We are in fact very beautiful and lovable just as we are. We are the divine expressing itself in the material world. 11. We have been seriously hurt by this person or others and cannot overcome this bitterness. This is our test - to be able to forgive and love those who have harmed us. It is easy to love those who give us what we want. Even animals love those who feed them and care for them. Spiritual growth is a process in which we become secure enough within ourselves and our faith in the wisdom and justice of the universe, to be able to love even those who have harmed us. 12. We are afraid we might be abused. We can be abused only if we allow others to do so or only if the laws of the universe are not working or non-existent. Otherwise only what is beneficial for our evolutionary process can occur. 13. We are afraid of being used, suppressed, limited, trapped or of not being able to be ourselves. Love can never be used or limited. It is always free. We usually allow ourselves to be used or suppressed when we want or need something from the other. Our attachment and fear cause us to bargain our freedom in order to receive approval, security or pleasure from others. When we are interacting with love without attachment, we do whatever the other asks, when we can do so with love and joy and we lovingly explain why we cannot or choose not to comply when that is the case. We are free to lovingly give and also to lovingly choose not to give. When we love purely without attachment, we can be totally and honestly "ourselves". 14. We fear we might fail in the relationship If this is the case, we have the choice to risk failing in a relationship or create a lonely life without love because we fear the possibility of failure. Another question is what is failure? Even if the relationship does not last for ever, does that mean failure? Have we not learned something and gained something? Perhaps there is no such thing as failure. 15. We fear allowing the others to become too familiar because they will lose interest. This is an interesting belief that might say more about how we function rather than how the others do. Perhaps we ourselves lose interest in others when they do not pose a challenge anymore, when they can be taken for granted. Love can never tire of loving. Games can become boring. If relationships are games through which we verify our power, interest, attractiveness, or self-worth through the roles we play, then we and others can loose interest. When we experience true love, all of these games dissolve. 16. We fear that we will become weak. Unfortunately some of us have been programmed to believe that love is a form of weakness and not for the strong and independent. Perhaps that accurately describes the images of love with which we have grown up. Unconditional love is the opposite. It is based on inner strength and personal freedom. We choose to love others because we love them, not because we need them. This requires the highest inner sense of self-worth and security. 17. We fear rejection or abandonment. To be rejected or abandoned by another is always a possibility. We can have no guarantee that others will always be with us. They may leave me and they might die. They may choose to love someone else more than us. These experiences do not occur unless they are exactly what we need for our evolutionary process and if they are, then they cannot be avoided. When we fear the above, we might fall into the following traps: a. Testing the others with negative behaviors to see how steady their love is. Often we push them away and our beliefs become a reality that we ourselves have created. b. We leave the relationships first, so as to not experience rejection or abandonment and "save face". c. We do not allow ourselves to be totally committed and open - supposedly protecting ourselves emotionally - but in reality creating a dead unloving relationship. 18. We fear the responsibilities of a relationship. This is a choice we can make. We have every right to live alone and not enter into personal love relationships that are naturally accompanied by certain commitments and responsibilities. Some souls have chosen to evolve alone in this way. It is a valid life style. The question is whether we are choosing it because we are being guided by our soul to do so, or because we fear the responsibilities of a relationship. If it is the second reason, then we will be stagnant in our growth process as we fear to enter into exactly the situations required for our learning process. 19. We fear creating the same relationships our parents (or others) had, when we were young. Our challenge is to learn from those negative prototypes and take that energy and transform it within ourselves by becoming free from their effect on us. We have gained wisdom from those experiences and can now create a new type of relationship free from the negative qualities of our prototypes. 20. We fear the unknown Evolution by necessity means going where we have not yet been. It cannot be otherwise - or else it would not be evolution. This is true of all aspects of our lives. Freedom for our limited perceptions and life creation requires that we overcome the fear of the unknown and have faith in the benevolent laws and powers of the universe and in our own ability to deal with whatever might occur. (From the forthcoming book LOVE IS A CHOICE, by Robert Elias Najemy) About the author: Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lectures on Human Harmony. Download wonderful ebooks, 100's of free articles, courses, and mp3 audio lectures at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. Find 8 of his books at http://www.Amazon.com.

HOME SECURITY,DO NOT LEAVE WITHOUT IT

Depending on your age or where you grew up, you probably remember never locking the door to your house. It seems like just yesterday, but those days are long gone. Our way of life has changed rapidly. People do not know their neighbors as well as they once did.

The following are some crime facts in neighborhoods today.

- Burglary and thefts from auto's are the most prevalent neighborhood crimes.

- Household burglary is one of the easiest crimes to commit, and to prevent.

- Most home burglars are young amateurs looking for easy targets.

- In over one-half of household burglaries, there was no forced entry involved.

- Most home intrusions occur during daylight hours while homeowners are away.

Is the choice either to be burgled or turn your house into a high tech security fortress? Not at all. The first step is to know the ways burglars break into your home and what to look out for to reduce your chance of being burgled. Inexpensive precautions like installing better locks will make your dwelling more secure while at the same time a less desirable choice for the criminal. Install outdoor motion sensor lights. This is an inexpensive way to reduce the risk of someone coming onto your premises at night. Make sure you do not make it obvious that you are away. Have a neighbor pick up your mail. Make a list of all your valuable items. Neighborhood Watch is a proven crime-reduction program. Members watch out for their neighbors and report suspicious activities to their local police department.

What about installing a home security or surveillance system? Undoubtedly the largest benefit you receive when an alarm is installed in your home is the peace of mind in knowing that the percentage of homes that are broken into with an alarm is 97% less than homes that do not have an alarm. The homeowner should have a basic knowledge of the types of systems available to make the most cost effective choice. Perimeter sensors protect each door and window and detect an initial entry attempt. Motion sensors detect an intruder moving inside the house. Systems are either hardwired or wireless, using radio signals. Once an intrusion is detected the alarm system can sound a local alarm or contact an alarm monitoring company. The security representative surveying your home and living patterns can make recommendations for your best protection.

With the level of home intrusion increasing everyday there has never been a better time to make sure your home is secure.

For more information I suggest reading The Ultimate Guide to Home Security E-Book. It is an instant-download that you can print. Visit http://www.home-security-solutions.net

PLANNING

Planning simply means to strategise ,devising logical steps to achieve a desired goals.Planning is as potent as prayer .Any family that lives without proper planning has no proper future .No one can really enjoy what he did not plan for.Good planning guarantees good success and quality productivity. It reduces failure and time wasting in any home or establishment .
Your sitting down to plan with your partner will determine your rising up in life.People who not plan are those who end up being intimidated in life.Many couples fails to fulfill their life dreams not because they do not have the potentials for success,but because they fail to plan and implement their goals and objectives.
Some families often rush into capital intensive projects before planning how to go about it.This act is as risky as diving inti the Antlatic ocean before learning how to swim .
Jesus said "suppose one of you wants to build a tower ,will he not first sit down and estimate (plan)the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?"(LK 14:28) it good we plan our homes in order not to ruin the wonderful relationship God wants us to enjoy The Bible say: "A noble man makes a noble plan ,and by noble deeds he stands"(Isaiah 32:8)

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Communication is central to human living .It is necessary for a healthy relationship between husband and wife.Any kind of relationship is begun nourished ,and maintained by communication.Where there is ineffective communication, a relationship gap begin to develop.If this relationship gap is not bridged ,it could first lead to frustration and ultimately permanent hostility of individuals.Communication provides building blocks with which to build a marriage relationship.Where communication is ineffective ,the bricks result in a wall of separations between the husband and wife resulting to a painful misery.
Where communication is effective ,the bricks build a wall of protection around the couple,protecting the relationship from external attacks resulting in unity and harmony.

BLOCKS FOR BUILDING A GODLY HOME

The success or the fulfillment of any marriage depends on its foundation and building materials used .If couples dig deep and lay the foundation of their marriage on a solid rock which is the word of God,christ,love,unity and faithfulness,their homes will always stand the test of time .Even if the rain descends,the flood come and the wind the marriage,it will stand because its foundation is laid on a solid rock.Coversely  any marriage that does not have its foundation laid on the word of God ,christ ,love ,unity and faithfully,such a marriage is comparable to the house that has its foundation on a sinking sand.The Bible says,"The rain descended ,and the floods came ,and the wind blew ,and beat that upon that house;and it fell! and great was the fall of it"(matt 7:27),