Love And Commitment = A Happy Marriage

Being married is one of the strongest bonds a couple can enter into. It commits each person to staying with the other person even when the going gets rough. A married couple has a better chance of getting through tough times because they are legally committed to each other.
Being in a loving relationship is often all you need, or is it? Is marriage and being together what love is all about? You see bumper stickers saying, "Happiness Is Being Single". Could that really be true?
Being single and in a relationship means that either one can bail out at the first signs of problems. You don't have to solve a problem and move forward into a stronger relationship. You can just move on to another and then another association with another "lover". Maybe some consider that happiness.
Of all the things that couples can do to make sure they stay together, commitment is one of the strongest binding factors. What could be more binding than the legal contract we call, "marriage"? It is easy to dissolve a marriage, but it is a lot easier to quit a relationship that has no legal strings attached to it.
Marriage is the means by which a couple in love can announce to the world that they believe in each other above all others. Once married a couple has a reason to try harder to keep things going and to stay together for the long haul. The first rough waters may rock the boat, but a committed couple can weather any storm in their relationship.
With marriage comes a lot of responsibility. Learning to live with another person is one thing. Being married to them means a stronger commitment and better chance of a long and happy marriage. The commitment is what strengthens and matures a couple.
Being married doesn't guarantee a long lasting partnership with the one you love. It does give you better odds of staying together for a long time. As time goes by we settle into routines. Some are conducive to a loving relationship and others are detrimental. Marriage gives you time to find the systems and that make our life with our partner more than just living together, but having a life together.
You often hear of people celebrating their 50th or 60th wedding anniversary. I have yet to hear of anyone celebrating their 50th living together anniversary. Maybe it happens, but think of what is the longest relationship you know of between two people living together who are not married. Do you know anyone who has lived together 15 years and have a strong "togetherness"?
It is fun being married. It is an adventure that takes you down life's path with someone who understands you like no one else could. Time and again this closeness will get you through the good times, the bad times, the sad times and all the rest of the times that build your marriage and relationship.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/121724

The Difference Between "Being in Love" and Truly Loving Someone

Let's say you are in relationship with two people and you have decided it's time to make a decision to be committed to just one of them, how would you go about doing that? In some regards, it's a great place to be - but it's getting complicated and you know the time is right for a decision to be reached.
You feel that you love both, equally, but also know there are basically some differences - you have to look at which one you're "in love with" and which one you "adore and truly love" and can't live without - you want to make a life with one - knowing you can't have your cake and eat it, too, over a lifetime.
Considering the two people you are involved with - what expectations do you have for your future life? Which of the two people comes closest to meeting your expectations over time?
Under normal conditions, what would your life be like with this person? Looking at the big picture, how do they handle big problems, do they make wise, informed decisions or are they prone to make unwise, hasty decisions. Making unwise, hasty decisions is a bad sign.
Do you have fun and do playful things when it's just the two of you? Which of the two makes you laugh the most and feel light about your relationship most often? How safe do you feel when spending time with each of them, do you feel that you can be vulnerable, emotionally open, and have his respect in basic situations? Do you respect him as he is right now?
Does he honestly treat you like he believes in you, that you are smart, kind, and handle responsibility by making wise and capable decisions? How would life look in three or four years if you chose the other person - what makes you feel that life would be exciting, not boring, leaving you wishing you had chosen differently?
When together, how do you like him? How smart is he - do you feel happiness inside when you are with one more than the other - do you feel cheerful - which of the two makes you feel like your real self and you don't have to pretend or be careful of his feelings above your own?
Which of the two makes you physically excited and more intimately connected? Would you miss that feeling if you chose the other person? Looking into your future about six years - you run into the person not chosen, how would you feel about your decision, would you look at your present situation - what issues or fears would you feel, would you want to take up where you left off all those years ago?
Are you able to talk to one more than the other? Do you open up and share your deepest feelings and dreams - do you intimately connect with one more than the other? Does he really listen to you and show concern and empathy for your feelings and those issues that are important to you? How does he handle your bad moods, those times when you are feeling down? Is he able to help you see the big picture without making you feel silly or stupid?
Looking at the two relationships, which person is of the higher quality - making you feel the most sane, engaged, warm, has a good sense of humor, makes you laugh, is generous and honest? Would he be a good parent, does he like children, does he fit into your family just as he is today or are there fundamental changes you wish he'd make today?
Which one lives best in his own skin? Is he happy with who he is as a person and is he a solid, steady, person of good intentions and one who makes you feel special? Go with the one that wears well, the one who would make you saddest if you let him get away.
"You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and your not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice." ~ Steven Woodhull

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5544635

Love, Marriage, and Homeownership (Not Necessarily in That Order)

How does homeownership affect your chances of finding the person of your dreams? There are many reasons to buy a house such as: (1) pride of ownership, (2) appreciation, (3) mortgage interest deduction, (4) property tax deduction, (5) access to preferential loans (equity loan), and many others. But, does homeownership also improve your odds of finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? According to the US Census Bureau in 2009, 84% of married couples owned their home, whereas only 50% of single men and 59% of single women were homeowners. The data did not document what percentage of homeowners married after they purchased their home. Comparing the US Census Bureau homeownership data to the National Association of Realtors ® (2012) study on the social benefits of homeownership and stable housing, the homeownership rate for individuals less than 35 years of age is 38%. The national rate of homeownership was 65% (US Census Bureau).
Single as well as married adults understand homeownership is an important goal that provides financial security and stability, but understanding the value placed on homeownership by the opposite sex when dating may be an under-investigated attribute. According to an article published by the Huffington Post, 36% of unmarried women stated homeownership mattered when finding a potential mate. The article cited stability and security as the main factors attributed to homeownership. To find the true correlation between homeownership and attracting the best available mate, let's look at the factors that attract the opposite sex. According to an article published by "Way Too Social" wealth and having nice possessions (car and/or house) are factors in attracting the opposite sex (2014). Supporting the findings of "Way Too Social" an article published by "It's Charming Time," found that being goal oriented and independent were major factors in alluring the opposite sex. Goal oriented could be deemed as education, high-paying job, or having nice possessions as stated by the "Way Too Social" article. When dating, taking your companion to your house for a drink instead of your apartment or parents' house would easily show your date the level of your independence. Independence could also be seen as responsibility. An individual living with their parents or living in an apartment would likely be deemed immature compared to a homeowner who has matured enough to maintain their house and possibly even take care of something else such as a dog or cat.
Tying the above information together allows one to conclude homeownership is an important factor in attracting the most desired available mate. To place yourself in the most desirable light when competing in the dating game, you should obtain and promote as many desired qualities as possible. Physical attraction, intelligence, personality and many other personal characteristics are also included in the equation to attract the most desirable mate. Homeownership may provide a more mature and complete package. It allows one to present them-selves in the best possible light to the opposite sex. If you are single the dream of homeownership may be more than just security and stability, it may be a path to the person of your dreams. Whether you enter homeownership married or single, just remember "It's not a bad thing to fall in love" (Justin Timberlake).

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8667209

8 Ways to Become Less Needy and More Loving

Leigh Sanders said, "Listen for your song, and join in the dance. Live in the center of your truth and find the bliss of always being enough." Remember that you are a one of kind work of art, with a special song to sing and jig to dance. Find your center, know that you are enough, and you will find the love you are so desperately seeking. All kinds of love (friend, familial, and romantic) starts and ends with self-love. When you love yourself, you can enter and exit from relationships with ease and grace. With a healthy dose of love for "self," you will find that when you are in love with someone else, you are more fully present. And when you are out of love with someone, you remain grounded.
The famous pyschotherapist Erich Fromm says, "If an individual is able to love productively, he loves himself, if he can only love others, he cannot love at all." Having love for yourself empowers you to love more freely and with more intensity. You can only give to others what you have yourself. So, if you want people to love you and treat you with respect, give it to yourself first.
As human beings, we have many needs that are important to us, which is perfectly normal. Needs are natural and when they are met in a healthy and balanced way, we are most happy. The problem comes up when we look to others to get those needs met. We are often unconscious of our neediest needs! But other people can usually spot them a mile away, and instead of giving us what we want, they tend to do the opposite! Such is the nature of needs. They scare people away instead of drawing them to us.
Emotionally needy people are not much fun to be around---they will manipulate, dominate, and finesse others to try to get what they want. And when others turn away, they get angry, blaming or striking out at them. You have probably done this a time or two--who hasn't! However, this frustrating cycle can go on for a lifetime until you make a conscious decision to change.
When you learn how to meet your own needs, you become free. You are more open and receptive, more loving and much more attractive to other people. The first step is to be able to identify what your needs are, and begin the process of meeting them once and for all. Once you have done your own inner work, you will notice that people respond to you much more to your liking.
Read the list and circle the 3 most important needs you have:
Do you want to feel?
Loved
Cherished
Admired
Smart
Authoritative
Creative
Important
Valued
Beautiful
Successful
Adored
Respected
Confident
In control
Seen
Connected
Unique
Validated
Recognized
Desireable
Secure
Prosperous
Healthy
Wealthy
Appreciated
Praised
Think of your three top needs and how you typically get them met. How much time do you wait for others to give you what you need? How often does that approach work---very rarely, right?
There is a better way: love yourself more. When you love yourself, your emotional energy vibrates "cleaner" and at a higher frequency.
What follows are 8 ways to love yourself more:
1). Accept Your Whole Self
Accept your greatness and your limitations. You are a vital and vibrant human being, start feeling good about yourself just the way you are right now!
2). Believe in Yourself
Be confident in yourself and your talents/abilities. Have faith that the universe will provide and that your needs will ultimately be met for the highest good.
3). Consider Yourself
Reflect about your likes, dislikes, what you want and don't want. You deserve to have the best relationships, career, and lifestyle.
4). Discover Yourself
Learn about your personality, values, beliefs through assessment tools and inspirational books. Excavate your soul and create your life around what is most precious to you.
5). Encourage Yourself
You are worthy of special treatment! Say and do nice things for yourself every day. Keep a running accomplishment list and add to it regularly.
6). Expand Yourself
Explore the world around you. Get interested in what life has to offer. Read books, meet people, take classes, and travel to new countries. Get in the habit of doing things differently.
7). Forgive Yourself
Let go of any residual guilt or fear from your past. Forgive yourself for making mistakes and not getting everything "exactly right." When you forgive, you free up emotional energy that can better used to love and be loved.
8). Value Yourself
Just by being born, you are worthy of esteem and value. Let yourself off the hook and move from having to do anything to deserve to be valued. Treat yourself like you would a best friend.
You deserve to get all of your needs met, and you are the person most capable of doing it. Know that YOU are the MOST important person in your life. You will always be in relationship with yourself, so make it the best relationship it can be. When you love yourself, you take care of your own needs, and as a result, you have a cup that begins to overflow, with even more to share with other people.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/411450

3 Secrets to Getting More Love in Any Relationship

Many people, including me, know what it's like to feel a lack of love, compassion, and caring. I was abandoned by my mother at just three months old, and adopted at the tender, vulnerable age of seven, after several foster homes. I never felt loved by my adoptive mother, and my father was working or sleeping. I never really had a conversation with him.
Can you relate? I don't feel sorry for myself by any means, as this propelled my spiritual side into surfacing. It helped me learn that the only love that is forever, that is true, is the kind that never dies. No matter what you believe, you can always tap into that love. You can decide where it comes from, even from within yourself, because truly, that is where it is, in your heart.
I found the secret for me to getting more love in my life and infusing every relationship with that love to the point of watching people change miraculously before my eyes. Yes, it took time, but it was worth every single minute and discipline of love. Here are a few of my discoveries:
1. People respond to love. In order to give love to others, I had to first learn to give love to myself. Simply put, you can't pour tea from an empty teapot, no matter how much you want to serve your guest. What fills you with love? What recharges your love battery? Maybe it's just reading a good book, gardening, or a hobby. If you don't have time, imagine you have time and then begin to make the time, starting small.
2. When you don't need as much from others, they give you more love because you are relaxed and fulfilled. Do you want to love a needy person? Probably not if you're like most people. So take time to take care of your own needs in the best way you can. If you don't have time for yourself, that's an indication that something has to change. You'll find a way if you really want to.
3. Practice accepting love from others and you'll feel more loved. I had to learn how to receive even hugs! I was so busy giving so I could get, that I completely bypassed acceptance and receiving love in the small ways people offered it. Even accepting compliments was something I had to learn. Just say "Thank you" and if you must say something else, "I'm so glad you like it" with absolutely no denigration of yourself!!
Gratitude is powerful. Being grateful for the love you already have in your life, no matter how small, even from pets, is a simple first step. Enjoy the journey of filling your life with more love!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9525063

How to Get Her Back For Good - Revealed

Almost everyone has a story about a lost lover. At this moment you could be facing that trying period in your life. Your girlfriend that you were certain you are going to spend the rest of your life with came to a conclusion; she needs something different. Your mind believes that you should move on, but your heart aches for her to get back. You do not need people to say to you that eventually everything will be good again or that there are a lot of fish in the sea; all you desire is someone that will tell you how to get her back for good. In case you are not ready to end this relationship and you believe that you will not be fulfilled until you once again have your ex girlfriend back in your arms where she had to be all along, then the book How To Get Her Back For Good, is just what you require.
Dr. George Karanastasis, the creator of How To Get Her Back For Good, has drawn on his hurtful past experiences with the opposite sex to make it possible for you to learn the right way to retrieving the partner of your past. Dr George Karanastasis will disclose why each method that you've tested prior to this to get your ex lover back will not succeed. Dr. Karanastasis covers why saying that you'll be different from now on, or declaring that she is the one for you, can be no more than a short-lasting solution. You may win her to return for some short time, but the pain of losing her again is right around the corner. In How To Get Her Back For Good e-book Dr. Karanastas uses the secret psychology of women to show the 5 positive methods to winning your ex lover back for good.
How To Get Her Back For Good is based on his own knowledge as well as an in-depth research. The author studied thousands of men who were having relationship problems, wondering what steps they were taking to get their ex lovers to return. He came to know that most were making the same mistakes. Most of them relied on promises and stating they are prepared to change to become the man the woman wants them to be. How To Get Her Back For Good will help you get your relationship back on track. There is no cause to watch her walk away. Discover how to smash the vicious cycle and put an end to the heartache game.
To learn more about Dr. George's book visit Get Her Back For Good.

'50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships'

Getting your relationship on track after an episode of arguments and flying pots can take quite a while. I am sure that you are aware that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, despite differing points of view. I guess it all boils down to case of 'agree to disagree', that's the sort of policy that most couples should adopt but fail to do so. I am sure that if you head down the road to a meeting with a relationship counselor, he is going to pretty much tell you the same thing and bill you by the hour. Have you ever wondered how some couples, even your grandparents, managed to knead out all the kinks in their relationship and stay together all this time? Well, you should ask them about it and if you cannot, you need to head over to '50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships' for tips on developing a healthy relationship, while staying sane at the same time.
I am sure that your partner has habits or does things in a certain way that just about flips you out. You will need to communicate your thoughts to your partner without trying to hit him on the head at the same time. That may take some sheer willpower on your part but you need to convey your feelings in a rational manner. 50 Secrets book is full of relationship advice; the sort that you will need if you are ever going to put that relationship back on an even kneel.
Here are a few specs on the product itself, it comes in two volumes with over 148 pages of invaluable relationship advice, tips and ways to resolve intra-family conflicts - remember the 'agree to disagree' part? Sure, your hubby's mum will drive you nuts with her constant critiques on your cooking, but you will need to find a healthy way to deal with this and get your point across at the same time. Anyway, back to the specs, this product should help you to find positive solutions to relationship problems; it should provide you with ways and methods to deal with your in-laws.
It comes packed with information on ways to get the excitement flowing in your relationship, just as in that first date. It provides you point by point information on the 9 warning signs that you should be on the lookout for and what to do in order to head off the problem. As you can see, this product certainly provides methods, ways by which you can keep the relationship healthy, so that it does not go belly up on your dreams. For invaluable relationship advice, tips and ways to deal with those irritating in-laws, you know where to head to!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2180858

5 Effective Ways To Fix A Relationship!

1 - Use your partner's "love" language rather than your own. This means that there's a good chance you show your love to someone in a way that you want that person to show love to you. Since people view love differently, there's a good chance that your kind of love is not something your partner understands.
Does this mean the two of you don't match? Not necessarily!
What this means is that you have to understand what love means for your partner. For example, some people show their love by giving gifts to their partners. Some people see love through intimacy. What acts of love does your partner respond to?
2 - Spend some time away from each other. This would allow the two of you to evaluate your relationship and decide if you still want the relationship to continue. Being away from each other is actually a good way to strengthen a relationship. This means that the two of you are "on a break" to be with yourself and not a "break up". During this time apart, there's a good chance that you might even miss your partner.
3 - Ask for help with a professional. Everyone finds therapy very beneficial for their life. Even the most secure individual needs therapy at some point. There is nothing wrong with looking for professional help with your problems.
4 - Learn to be courteous and respectful to your partner. We all take each other for granted, and this is especially true in our romantic relationships. However, you'll be shocked at just how helpful saying "please" will be for your relationship. Hence, don't forget to always say thank you if your partner has done something nice for you.
5 - Don't go to sleep with the problem not resolved. You have to ensure that you are in good terms even before falling asleep. This would give you the peace of mind for a dreamless sleep as well as wake up on the good side of the bed. Keep in mind that each day presents you with better possibilities. Always think of your relationship in the present tense. Don't hold grudges and admit that you make mistakes too.
Half the battle is knowing what the problem really is. The other half is addressing the problem. Although having the relationship fixed may be hard, it's certainly not impossible.
Lots of people have problems in a relationship. If you take the time to resolve the relationship, then you will be able to do the same should another problem occur.
If you're having problems with your boyfriend, you might be surprised to know the mistakes your making to save your relationship and prevent a breakup. There are so many people out there that are desperately trying to get the love of their boyfriend back. If this is you, discover what mistake you're making in getting him back.
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Simple Ways to Fix a Relationship - 5 Steps to Fix a Relationship

Sometimes relationships, like broken ceramic vases, need fixing. Couples go through rough roads once in a while, and these rough roads shake up a relationship no matter how stable it seems to be.
Having these rough patches doesn't mean that the relationship is ending. You and your partner may get through these storms together. Here are some of the simple ways to fix a relationship.
1. Know what the root of the problem is. The relationship is in the rocks because there is a problem. Determine what it is exactly. Do not pretend that there is nothing wrong because nothing will get fixed if you do not brace this problem head on.
2. Deal with the problem and do not attempt to escape it. When you have determined the root cause of the problem, talk to your partner on how you can fix it.
3. Do not put the blame on one and do not keep track on who's done what mistake. This will only create further drama, and drama will not solve anything.
4. Agree on a solution where both of you are comfortable with. Make sure you are exerting the same amount of effort and sacrifice to make the relationship work. Do not make the other do the most of the fixing. You must work together.
5. Keep an open line of communication with your partner. This is one of the best ways to fix a relationship. Communication is always the key in relationships. Tell your partner what you have exactly in mind and avoid keeping secrets from each other.
"Can I really fix my relationship?" YES! Just follow the system that shows you exactly what you must NEVER EVER do and exactly what you SHOULD do after a break up and how to go about fixing a broken relationship and get your ex back.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2636828

How to Fix Problems in a Relationship - And Reduce Them in the Future

Every relationship has problems, we all know that. It is one of the cold, hard facts of living with someone and being in a relationship. So if everyone has relationship problems, you may rightly ask, why are yours so unanswerable? Why do YOU spend so much time fretting, worrying and arguing with your partner about things? Why do your problems seem so much worse when compared to all these other happy couples?
The simple answer is that your problems are not any worse than anyone else's. The truth is, you are simply not as good fixing these problems. If you can not fix a problem in your relationship, then things are only going to get worse and worse, until it becomes a huge problem and puts a question mark over the future of the whole relationship.
So how does one go about fixing those problems?
Here are some simple answers for you.
Understand what the problem is exactly and the cause of it. The worst thing that you can do is to try and ignore it. Do the opposite and look long and hard at it.
Once you know what the problem is, you must talk about it with your partner. The problem is a two-way thing, and to fix it the solution needs to involve both of you. You cannot fix these things by yourself.
You should not ever just place all of the blame and responsibility on your partner, and conversely, do not let them do the same thing to you. Whatever the problem is, it takes two to tango. Always remember that if there were only one of you, there would be no problem, so it is a joint problem. You must both share the responsibility and blame for it.
Do not bring up old mistakes and disagreements when trying to fix a new problem. This will only increase the stress and resentment between you. Let bygones be bygones and work on the new problem on a new and equal footing.
Try to come up with a plan to fix the problem that you are both happy with. Make sure that it is one that is workable. Usually this will mean that both of you have to make sacrifices and concessions to the other. At this point in time, it is also worth remembering that no one ever told you that being in a relationship was going to be easy. Relationships need working on. When trying to affect the solution, do not be tempted to rush it. Sometimes problems can take days or even weeks to resolve but it is essential that you let it take as long as required. If you rush things, then chances are you are skipping past certain issues. So problems will remain to possibly come back and haunt you both later.
Communication with your partner has to be maintained at all times. Make sure this is so while you are trying to fix the problem, and then never let up. If you are communicating with your partner as you should be, this will help and go a long way towards ensuring that you have fewer problems in the future.
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