Saving Marriages Via Improved Sexual Behaviors

Marital bond legally tied between two people and their families is meant to last forever until death severs the relation that exists between the partners. However, globally, marital divorce is on the ascendancy. A statistical survey indicates that 42 percent of marriages end up in divorce annually. The causes of most of these marital breakdowns are varied. Sexual infidelity has been identified as the topmost. This is as a result of poor sexual behaviors on the part of either the man or woman. Thus, there is the need to educate married couple on some good sexual behaviors that can improve their sex life so as to arrest many of the discords of marriage. This improvement in the sexual life of partners can save the marriage from possible divorce. The article highlights the three main poor sexual habits, premature ejaculation, lack of foreplay and truncated sexual position.
The majority of the sexual downsides issue from the man. This is mostly due to premature ejaculation. This happens when the man cannot sustain the sexual act for a long period of time. The causes include tiredness, excessive drinking of alcoholic beverages, lack of proper blood circulation, smoking, emotional stress and over anxiety prior to the sexual act. Therefore, to remedy the problem of premature ejaculation, the man must have enough rest before engaging in sexual intercourse with the wife. This includes resting the mind, thus, taking the mind off the sexual act to be engaged in to rid of any traces of over anxiety. Also, five to ten-minute exercise on a daily basis can help in improving his blood circulation that lengthens the duration of sex. In addition, it must be noted that alcoholic beverages reduce blood circulation and as such, it's drinking must be reduced or abandoned entirely before a sexual intercourse. Smoking is not good for one's sex life because it affects the lungs negatively, hindering proper breathing. This usually results in the lack of enough oxygen in the brain, dulling one's sense of control, especially during sex.
Another poor sexual behavior is a lack of foreplay before sex. Most men hurriedly jump into the sexual act without gradually ushering their female partners into it, succinctly preparing their minds and emotions toward the sex. This selfish attitude leaves women hanging when the sexual act is over, feeling disappointed and dissatisfied. Therefore, men must engage in foreplay by either kissing their partners, caress their sexual spots gently, especially the clitoris, which is said to be the most sensitive part of a woman's sexual organ. The clitoris region when touched gently arouses the sexual emotions of a woman, putting her in the right frame of mind for the intercourse. When enough foreplay is carried out before the sexual intercourse, the woman will be accustomed to the sexual atmosphere experiencing orgasm and feeling satisfied. On the other hand, men also need foreplay, which must be initiated by the women when they are not in the right mood for sex. This can be done when women also stroke the head of the penis gently or in some cases, stimulating it with the mouth usually termed as 'blowjob'. This would gradually prepare the man in the sexual act.
Furthermore, a truncated or one-sided sexual position while engaging in sex can result in boredom for some married couple. Hitting the right spot for some women would require varied sexual positions for them to reach their orgasm. It would also stir the interest of the marriage partner for the intercourse. After all, it is said that a monopolistic view results in complaints. As such, sexual positioning must be altered and varied. Otherwise, exposure to constant sex talks among the workmates of a partner regarding different sex positions may trigger curiosity which can end up in sexual infidelity. Therefore, married couple must vary their sexual positions to make their sexual acts interesting.
If these suggestions are implemented by the married couple, it would aid in improving their sexual behaviors, putting joy into their marriage life and serving as an anchor in saving it from the dangerous trap of most marriages, divorce.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9583398

Saving Marriages Via Improved Sexual Behaviors

Marital bond legally tied between two people and their families is meant to last forever until death severs the relation that exists between the partners. However, globally, marital divorce is on the ascendancy. A statistical survey indicates that 42 percent of marriages end up in divorce annually. The causes of most of these marital breakdowns are varied. Sexual infidelity has been identified as the topmost. This is as a result of poor sexual behaviors on the part of either the man or woman. Thus, there is the need to educate married couple on some good sexual behaviors that can improve their sex life so as to arrest many of the discords of marriage. This improvement in the sexual life of partners can save the marriage from possible divorce. The article highlights the three main poor sexual habits, premature ejaculation, lack of foreplay and truncated sexual position.
The majority of the sexual downsides issue from the man. This is mostly due to premature ejaculation. This happens when the man cannot sustain the sexual act for a long period of time. The causes include tiredness, excessive drinking of alcoholic beverages, lack of proper blood circulation, smoking, emotional stress and over anxiety prior to the sexual act. Therefore, to remedy the problem of premature ejaculation, the man must have enough rest before engaging in sexual intercourse with the wife. This includes resting the mind, thus, taking the mind off the sexual act to be engaged in to rid of any traces of over anxiety. Also, five to ten-minute exercise on a daily basis can help in improving his blood circulation that lengthens the duration of sex. In addition, it must be noted that alcoholic beverages reduce blood circulation and as such, it's drinking must be reduced or abandoned entirely before a sexual intercourse. Smoking is not good for one's sex life because it affects the lungs negatively, hindering proper breathing. This usually results in the lack of enough oxygen in the brain, dulling one's sense of control, especially during sex.
Another poor sexual behavior is a lack of foreplay before sex. Most men hurriedly jump into the sexual act without gradually ushering their female partners into it, succinctly preparing their minds and emotions toward the sex. This selfish attitude leaves women hanging when the sexual act is over, feeling disappointed and dissatisfied. Therefore, men must engage in foreplay by either kissing their partners, caress their sexual spots gently, especially the clitoris, which is said to be the most sensitive part of a woman's sexual organ. The clitoris region when touched gently arouses the sexual emotions of a woman, putting her in the right frame of mind for the intercourse. When enough foreplay is carried out before the sexual intercourse, the woman will be accustomed to the sexual atmosphere experiencing orgasm and feeling satisfied. On the other hand, men also need foreplay, which must be initiated by the women when they are not in the right mood for sex. This can be done when women also stroke the head of the penis gently or in some cases, stimulating it with the mouth usually termed as 'blowjob'. This would gradually prepare the man in the sexual act.
Furthermore, a truncated or one-sided sexual position while engaging in sex can result in boredom for some married couple. Hitting the right spot for some women would require varied sexual positions for them to reach their orgasm. It would also stir the interest of the marriage partner for the intercourse. After all, it is said that a monopolistic view results in complaints. As such, sexual positioning must be altered and varied. Otherwise, exposure to constant sex talks among the workmates of a partner regarding different sex positions may trigger curiosity which can end up in sexual infidelity. Therefore, married couple must vary their sexual positions to make their sexual acts interesting.
If these suggestions are implemented by the married couple, it would aid in improving their sexual behaviors, putting joy into their marriage life and serving as an anchor in saving it from the dangerous trap of most marriages, divorce.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9583398

Saving Marriages Via Improved Sexual Behaviors

Marital bond legally tied between two people and their families is meant to last forever until death severs the relation that exists between the partners. However, globally, marital divorce is on the ascendancy. A statistical survey indicates that 42 percent of marriages end up in divorce annually. The causes of most of these marital breakdowns are varied. Sexual infidelity has been identified as the topmost. This is as a result of poor sexual behaviors on the part of either the man or woman. Thus, there is the need to educate married couple on some good sexual behaviors that can improve their sex life so as to arrest many of the discords of marriage. This improvement in the sexual life of partners can save the marriage from possible divorce. The article highlights the three main poor sexual habits, premature ejaculation, lack of foreplay and truncated sexual position.
The majority of the sexual downsides issue from the man. This is mostly due to premature ejaculation. This happens when the man cannot sustain the sexual act for a long period of time. The causes include tiredness, excessive drinking of alcoholic beverages, lack of proper blood circulation, smoking, emotional stress and over anxiety prior to the sexual act. Therefore, to remedy the problem of premature ejaculation, the man must have enough rest before engaging in sexual intercourse with the wife. This includes resting the mind, thus, taking the mind off the sexual act to be engaged in to rid of any traces of over anxiety. Also, five to ten-minute exercise on a daily basis can help in improving his blood circulation that lengthens the duration of sex. In addition, it must be noted that alcoholic beverages reduce blood circulation and as such, it's drinking must be reduced or abandoned entirely before a sexual intercourse. Smoking is not good for one's sex life because it affects the lungs negatively, hindering proper breathing. This usually results in the lack of enough oxygen in the brain, dulling one's sense of control, especially during sex.
Another poor sexual behavior is a lack of foreplay before sex. Most men hurriedly jump into the sexual act without gradually ushering their female partners into it, succinctly preparing their minds and emotions toward the sex. This selfish attitude leaves women hanging when the sexual act is over, feeling disappointed and dissatisfied. Therefore, men must engage in foreplay by either kissing their partners, caress their sexual spots gently, especially the clitoris, which is said to be the most sensitive part of a woman's sexual organ. The clitoris region when touched gently arouses the sexual emotions of a woman, putting her in the right frame of mind for the intercourse. When enough foreplay is carried out before the sexual intercourse, the woman will be accustomed to the sexual atmosphere experiencing orgasm and feeling satisfied. On the other hand, men also need foreplay, which must be initiated by the women when they are not in the right mood for sex. This can be done when women also stroke the head of the penis gently or in some cases, stimulating it with the mouth usually termed as 'blowjob'. This would gradually prepare the man in the sexual act.
Furthermore, a truncated or one-sided sexual position while engaging in sex can result in boredom for some married couple. Hitting the right spot for some women would require varied sexual positions for them to reach their orgasm. It would also stir the interest of the marriage partner for the intercourse. After all, it is said that a monopolistic view results in complaints. As such, sexual positioning must be altered and varied. Otherwise, exposure to constant sex talks among the workmates of a partner regarding different sex positions may trigger curiosity which can end up in sexual infidelity. Therefore, married couple must vary their sexual positions to make their sexual acts interesting.
If these suggestions are implemented by the married couple, it would aid in improving their sexual behaviors, putting joy into their marriage life and serving as an anchor in saving it from the dangerous trap of most marriages, divorce.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9583398

Saving Marriages Via Improved Sexual Behaviors

Marital bond legally tied between two people and their families is meant to last forever until death severs the relation that exists between the partners. However, globally, marital divorce is on the ascendancy. A statistical survey indicates that 42 percent of marriages end up in divorce annually. The causes of most of these marital breakdowns are varied. Sexual infidelity has been identified as the topmost. This is as a result of poor sexual behaviors on the part of either the man or woman. Thus, there is the need to educate married couple on some good sexual behaviors that can improve their sex life so as to arrest many of the discords of marriage. This improvement in the sexual life of partners can save the marriage from possible divorce. The article highlights the three main poor sexual habits, premature ejaculation, lack of foreplay and truncated sexual position.
The majority of the sexual downsides issue from the man. This is mostly due to premature ejaculation. This happens when the man cannot sustain the sexual act for a long period of time. The causes include tiredness, excessive drinking of alcoholic beverages, lack of proper blood circulation, smoking, emotional stress and over anxiety prior to the sexual act. Therefore, to remedy the problem of premature ejaculation, the man must have enough rest before engaging in sexual intercourse with the wife. This includes resting the mind, thus, taking the mind off the sexual act to be engaged in to rid of any traces of over anxiety. Also, five to ten-minute exercise on a daily basis can help in improving his blood circulation that lengthens the duration of sex. In addition, it must be noted that alcoholic beverages reduce blood circulation and as such, it's drinking must be reduced or abandoned entirely before a sexual intercourse. Smoking is not good for one's sex life because it affects the lungs negatively, hindering proper breathing. This usually results in the lack of enough oxygen in the brain, dulling one's sense of control, especially during sex.
Another poor sexual behavior is a lack of foreplay before sex. Most men hurriedly jump into the sexual act without gradually ushering their female partners into it, succinctly preparing their minds and emotions toward the sex. This selfish attitude leaves women hanging when the sexual act is over, feeling disappointed and dissatisfied. Therefore, men must engage in foreplay by either kissing their partners, caress their sexual spots gently, especially the clitoris, which is said to be the most sensitive part of a woman's sexual organ. The clitoris region when touched gently arouses the sexual emotions of a woman, putting her in the right frame of mind for the intercourse. When enough foreplay is carried out before the sexual intercourse, the woman will be accustomed to the sexual atmosphere experiencing orgasm and feeling satisfied. On the other hand, men also need foreplay, which must be initiated by the women when they are not in the right mood for sex. This can be done when women also stroke the head of the penis gently or in some cases, stimulating it with the mouth usually termed as 'blowjob'. This would gradually prepare the man in the sexual act.
Furthermore, a truncated or one-sided sexual position while engaging in sex can result in boredom for some married couple. Hitting the right spot for some women would require varied sexual positions for them to reach their orgasm. It would also stir the interest of the marriage partner for the intercourse. After all, it is said that a monopolistic view results in complaints. As such, sexual positioning must be altered and varied. Otherwise, exposure to constant sex talks among the workmates of a partner regarding different sex positions may trigger curiosity which can end up in sexual infidelity. Therefore, married couple must vary their sexual positions to make their sexual acts interesting.
If these suggestions are implemented by the married couple, it would aid in improving their sexual behaviors, putting joy into their marriage life and serving as an anchor in saving it from the dangerous trap of most marriages, divorce.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9583398

How to Save a Marriage - Foundational Principles

The statistics on marriage are depressing. Half of all marriages end in divorce and half of those that don't are unhappy and unproductive. With stats like this you might wonder how you can even ask how can I save my marriage. If you are worried about your marriage and want to make it better and even save your marriage then you are better off than two thirds of the population! Contemplating filing for divorce should not be your first step when you get to this point. There are many steps to saving your marriage that you should consider first. Most of these steps require both partners to be fully committed to saving the relationship, but starting these steps alone can also begin the process of saving your marriage.
A first logical step is to consider counseling. When both partners are asking can this marriage be saved or how can I save my relationship, counseling can provide an objective third party to offer advice and counsel. It is best for both partners to go. If you partner isn't yet committed to saving your marriage then by all means start off alone. Avoiding divorce and strengthening a marriage can begin by one partner if both are not willing to work together for a common goal. Counseling is the first step to avoiding divorce and saving your marriage.
The next step, which can be done on your own, is to recognize that the perfect marriage is a myth. All marriages, even the happiest come with ups and downs and take a lot of work by both spouses. When two people come together, they bring to the relationship all of their own issues, good and bad.
There are bound to be difficult times, and perhaps a few issues that could become deal breakers if not dealt with early on. Even identical twins and lifelong friends can differ in likes and dislikes, values and beliefs. For a marriage to succeed, couples must learn to deal with whatever life brings along. Couples must be ready for the rough patches as well as the good times. They have to commit to overcoming their problems. This is the time to remember that perfection is an unrealistic goal. You don't expect it from yourself and you shouldn't expect it from your partner. Seeking perfection will only interfere with everything you are working on in saving your marriage. Everyone makes mistakes, so work with your partner to overcome the problems you face and you will both realize it is possible to "save my marriage."
The next logical are to focus on in saving your marriage are good communication skills. The ability to communicate effectively with your spouse is vital. When communication falls apart, your marriage can be on its way to trouble. Begin with total and loving honesty with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if good communication is maintained. To make this work both partners have to be willing to accept compromise which can be difficult at times but is absolutely necessary for a successful marriage. Finding that middle ground upon which a conclusion to the conflict can be built has to work for both parties before you can say to yourself that this can "save my marriage." Saving your marriage and making your marriage work depends on your collective ability to compromise. If you could do one thing to answer your question of "how can I save my marriage", the ability to compromise is your answer.
All of the above steps illustrate your commitment to your marriage and to each other. This is your next step in the long process of "saving my marriage". Marriage is the ultimate lifetime day to day commitment. This isn't disposable, marriage is not a Styrofoam cup or plastic container that you use and toss. It is much more permanent and of higher quality. There are certain things you don't abandon, and marriage should be one of them. The only time to ponder ending your marriage is if you feel there is truly no hope. Hopelessness is a dismal feeling and a terrible place to be. Fortunately it takes a long time to get to this point. The above steps can prevent you from ever feeling hopeless. If you want to say "I saved my marriage" then commitment is your microphone.
The sad reality is that after all of the above steps, and in even the hardest working couples, some marriages will not work. If the damage is too extensive and the hurt too deep then divorce can be a logical option. If there is abuse and mistreatment that cannot be resolved it is the only option. Divorce should always be your last option, and when you have repaired your relationship and are feeling happiness in your marriage then you can say yes I can save my marriage!
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2024290

Marital Pitfalls

There is no marriage that crashed that has not shown the signs of incompatibility during courtship or premarital relationship.
When two people are incompatible, they will break up in marriage. When the marriage breaks up, the children are the worst hit. You remember elders say "where two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.
The major challenge is that parties in a relationship do not used to reading the signs that can break up their marriages while they are still in courtship. For instance, when a man or woman finds it difficult to introduce his or her partner to his or her family members, it shows that such a person sees himself or herself be more superior to his or her partner. He sees his level be higher than that of his partner. If the other party is not sensitive enough to read the sign and eventually goes into marriage with such a high-minded man or woman, he or she will either live to endure the marriage instead of enjoying it. If he or she cannot endure the marriage then the marriage is already collapsed it is just a matter of time.
You are in a courtship with a lady, she doesn't like to move closer to you or give you a peck, and she behaves as if you have an odour in your body that is smelling badly, then you need to run away from such a lady because if you eventually get married to her, bedroom crisis may not be far from such a marriage. You know what I mean? She will find it difficult to make love to her husband. If the man can endure it then the marriage continues if not it heads on to collapse.
There are very many signs that lovers ought to look out for in a relationship while they are still in courtship, failure to do that their marriages may not last. Parties in a relationship allow their sense of judgment to be beclouded with the so called LOVE which each believes he has towards his partner. The trace of the sign may not be significantly evident, but it is there. If you are patient enough, you will discover the traces of the signs no matter how silent it may appear.
What many call love is ordinary infatuation, therefore your ability to differentiate between infatuation and real love will go a long way to proffer solution to the common problem of divorce. I have come to discover that there is a very thin line between love and infatuation and that is the reason why many people find it difficult to differentiate between the two. Another aspect is the issue of conditional and unconditional love.
If you love a man because of riches, it is a conditional love, the day he becomes poor is the day you will start to hate him. If you love a woman with the condition that she is pretty, the day her beauty starts to wane or the day she gets involve in an accident and lost her beauty is the day hatred will set in. Note this that when there is no longer love between a couple, the next thing that each party thinks about is how to get out of the marriage. He or she now sees the relationship as a bondage in which he or she enters when "his or her eyes are not yet opened" and now that he or she has shined his or her eyes, it is time to correct the mistake. The only solution that comes to mind is divorce.
This is the reason why there are a lot of cases of divorce today both in developed and undeveloped nations of the world. Out of every ten (10) marriages, an approximate of eight (8) always fail before six (6) months of their marriage in America.
Let me mention some of the Sings that May likely break up marriages:
1. Insecurity within
2. Secret and silent hatred on the part of one of the partners towards the other partner.
3. Superiority versus Inferiority complex between intending couples
4. Forced relationship: When parents of both partners forced the intending couples on each other, crisis will not be far from such a marriage.
5. Hidden or secret traits or habits of a partner which he or she hid from his or her the other partner such as secret smoking, secretly drinking alcohol, womanizing etc. If you know that you don't want to marry a smoker or drunkards for a wife or husband, don't tell your spouse during courtship that you hate smoking or alcohol because if you do, he or she will start to hide it from you. He or she will be involving in it secretly without your awareness until after your marriage. This has been the reason why so many couples will say that their partners were not smokers before their marriage and that they are surprised that he or she developed that habit after marriage.
He did not develop that habit after marriage; he has been used to the habit before he proposes marriage to you at all. It is just that you are not sensitive enough to read the handwriting on the wall before you go to the altar with him. Don't tell your partner that you hate smokers or drunkards if you do you will find it difficult to know either he or she smokes or not.
In fact, I will advise you to encourage your partner to smoke, drink or womanize to truly know his stand on such matters. There is a new common believe in the circle of ladies, they believe that men who smoke, or drink are stronger than their counterparts who do not smoke or drink, maybe because of the advert that cigarette companies and alcohol companies now put up on the television showing to you that smoking or drinking is a sign of great strength. This is a simple lie from the pit of hell. In fact, if you decide to get married to smokers or drunkards, then you don't complain when he turns you into a punching bag after marriage. Because each time he goes to the club and gets himself drunk, he will always misbehave by beating you up. He is no longer the one beating you but the content of the bottle that is working in the children of disobedience.
Marry a smoker or drunkard, then I tell you, I lied not you will be older than your age in no time courtesy of his constant beating.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9509494

How to Save Marriage From Divorce - 3 Uncommon Ways to Save Your Marriage

I was so happy the day I married my husband. We were both sparkling eyes and hearts full of love. We swore to be together forever and we meant it.
Cut to 11 years later. Every day I ask myself how to save marriage from divorce. We hardly ever talk or see each other. A silent anger is between us all the time. We never spend family time together. I am always suspicious that he is cheating, he always complains and nothing I do is good enough. My children notice this and seem so sad.
Things look hopeless and divorce is definitely lurking around in the corners. How could this have happened to us? What did I do wrong? Who is to blame? How can I save my marriage from divorce?
As these questions took hold of my thoughts and depression slowly took over me, I decided not to give up. I started looking for help because I knew we can't survive this marriage crisis alone. After a long search and a many mistakes (mainly due to questionable advice on the internet), I finally found the last relationship advice book I'll ever read. Implementing the exact steps given to me in this book literally saved my marriage.
I want to share 3 golden ways to save your marriage - All of them taken from this book. I hope it helps you as it did me:
1. Stop Asking What's Wrong and How To Fix It
A common and very human mistake we all make is always looking for what is wrong and how can we fix it. Why can't we get things right again? why can't we get back to the way we used to be? Why did he cheat on me?
There's nothing wrong in finding the weak spots in your relationship and working to better them somehow, but focusing on the bad things in your marriage has its price: It puts an emphasis on the marriage crisis, it makes you feel that things are hopeless and it's a shaky foundation for rebuilding your relationship. So, what's the uncommon way to deal with this?
Focus on the positive aspects of your marriage. Take a trip down memory lane: try to remember happy times, loving moments that you shared together. Look at pictures of you on a trip together, smiling and touching.
Remember why he became your best friend. Is he the only one that knows your deepest fear because he's the only one you've shared it with? Does he have the same sense of humor as you? Write down all the qualities of your spouse and your marriage. This will remind you the foundation of your marriage and how you can both be happy together.
2. Feel Angry, But Keep Your Cool
When your marriage is in crisis, anger becomes your companion. How many times have you experienced feeling Boiled over in rage over something your spouse said or did? How many times have you responded angrily at how irresponsible he has behaved?
Feeling angry is understandable, and venting your anger can even strengthen your communication. But acting angry will only make things worse and cause more problems than you started out with. So, what's the uncommon way to deal with this?
  1. Identify your anger point - Identify the point when you decide to become angry. There is such a point and if you stop and think for a second - you will find it. Now - consciously decide to respond without the anger. Express your feelings. Start with "I am angry because I feel..." instead of "I am angry because YOU..."

  2. Change your approach - Before telling him off, remind yourself that you are talking to your best friend, not your enemy. Only then start talking.
3. The Critical Ingredient In Saving Your Marriage
While these 2 pieces of advice are very helpful, you probably know that it won't be enough. The critical ingredient in how to save marriage from divorce is...HELP.
You can't do this alone and you can't do this with only your spouse and some random advice from your girlfriends. You need professional help.
I couldn't afford going to marriage counseling so I had to fins an alternative. Finally I found this book, from which I shared this advice with you. I learned about the #1 predictor of divorce, I learned new ways to connect emotionally, how to rebuild the respect and the honesty, how to heal after a fight and how to open up without getting hurt. It was a life saver for our marriage and we didn't have to spend endless hours searching for a good therapist that will actually help (I hear so many stories about counseling that didn't help) or spend half our saving on counseling sessions.
If you want to see if this book can help you too - Go to the official website - Click Here now and learn how to save your marriage before it's too late!
I wish you have along and happy relationship,

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6655491

2 Essential Steps That Will Save Your Marriage

The scenario of a failing marriage is not far off for many couples. Problems after problems after problems are coming into their marriage that many couples are considering separating. Statistics show there are far too many people getting divorce these days and it's becoming normally accepted. Many couples feel even though they may be on the precipice of divorce, it's the last option they would consider. They are looking for ways to save their marriage.
The first step to take is to have open and honest communication. Contrary to popular beliefs, be straight with your spouse in a respectful manner and inform him or her about why you think your marriage might be heading towards divorce. Speak your heart about your marriage, what is it like to spend your life together going into the future, how does that look. Be straight about the issues that are plaguing your marriage. To save your marriage, communication is of importance. Opening up to one another about what does not work in the marriage allows for understanding. It also resolves pending issues. It would also provide an opportunity for your partner to get your point of view. When honest communication happens from your part, it demonstrates that you are willing to make things work. For many people, it's easy to share the things that are at the level of thoughts, but it's difficult to talk about the emotions that are deep down. Sometimes a marriage falls apart with one partner not even knowing why. Provide an opportunity for you spouse to get how things affect you before deciding on an outcome.
The second step you could do to save your marriage is to consult a marriage counselor. More often than not, it works for the couple to have a professional person who is a third party listen to the issues that are plaguing. Their advice is invaluable and could help make things better. When you go to a marriage counselor, it would be naïve to think they should take your side or that they would be the one who finally understand what you are going through. One way you could take the counseling as is a way to gain strategies that help you work out the issues in a healthy way. Marriage counseling could be taken way before you are on the edge of a divorce. Some couples who are determined to improve their communication and improve their marriage consult a marriage counselor way before there are any major issues.
If you sense that maybe it is time for you and your spouse to stop fighting and start to make your marriage work, maybe these crucial steps will help you. A far worst thing would be to go through a divorce. There was a time not long ago, when you made a commitment to be together through thick and thin. Here is another commitment you can make right now: to support your spouse, understand how they feel, and alter the behavior that does not work to put your marriage back on track.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5647108

Why Marriages Fail - Am I Doing the Right Thing?

Couples are heading towards divorce when they see problems in a marriage. Why do marriages fail? There are many reasons that can cause a marriage to fail. When both parties refuse to commit and make the relationship work, problems will appear. Most people imagine a successful and happy marriage is there when both parties truly love each other, but they often overlook to understand the rest of the components that make up a good marriage. Here are some reasons why marriages fail.
Take things for granted
Respect for each other is vitally important. If a spouse has the best interest for the other party, they will appreciate what the other party is doing for them. However, it is a common problem that many couples have the thinking "we are already so close, why bother so much?" and rarely consider how their actions and words can affect the husband or wife.
Trust
Trust is very important in maintaining a happy marriage. Trust will include honesty in conversation and behaviour. Constant lying and infidelities can let your spouse lose trust and faith in you. It will eventually lead to many problems when there is no trust and this is one of the reasons why marriages fail.
Bad Communication
Do you always convey good and clear message to your spouse? If you don't, it is likely your marriage is having a tough fight all the time going through quarrels and arguing. Many marriages will fail because of the breakdown in communication.
Not spending enough quality time
When both of you are not spending enough quality time together, it is likely your sex life is not great too. If friends, work or activities are taking too much of your time away to be together with your husband your wife, the closeness and bond might drift apart.
A good marriage does not happen over the night. It is through time, commitment and effort to build one. When you do not want your marriage to fail, you must ensure in doing the right things to maintain your marriage.
You can bring the marriage back to the right track even you are the only one who is trying hard now. Read the proven marriage tips provided at this site: http://iwanttosavemymarriagetoday.blogspot.com/. It shouldn't be wrong if you are following the right ways to save your marriage! Why marriages fail? It is not a problem anymore!

Why Marriages Fail - 3 Certain Reasons As to Why Marriages Fail

When you tie the knot with your partner and utter those immortal words "I do" it is a well documented fact that you only have just over a 60 percent chance that your marriage will survive. That' s not your fault; it' s just the way it is! So in order to overcome this obstacle I thought it would be a good idea to have a look at some of the main reasons why marriages fail.
Communication
You have probably all heard about the importance of communication in a marriage and as long as both you are talking, you are communicating, right! Well actually communication goes a lot further than just talking. It' s all about really listening to your partner and taking on board what they are telling you. Ask your partner how their day was, talk to them about their dreams and goals, and their hopes and fears. If they have had a bad day, then act as a sounding board for them to vent If you can create an environment whereby you feel comfortable talking about anything, then when problems do arise, they can be dealt with out in the open and not be allowed to fester. When this does not happen and communication breaks down then it is becomes increasingly difficult to retrieve your marriage from this situation.
Unwillingness to compromise
Before two people marry, they are 2 separate entities with 2 different opinions and differing past experiences. They then marry to become one, choosing to live together to face whatever curve ball life throws at them. So when faced with this situation there is inevitably going to be a conflict of interests. This is not necessarily a bad thing because it is OK to disagree, but it is how you handle that disagreement that matters. If you are unwilling to back down for fear of losing face, then probably what started off as a simple disagreement has now manifested itself into an all out battle. Learning to meet in the middle and find common ground is all about compromise. If this can be done so that both parties come out of the conflict unscathed, then your marriage will be stronger for it.
Selfishness
Many people fail to realise that when they get together with their partner it is really important to share everything; from emotional highs and challenging situations, to the everyday drudgery of life. If you can put the needs of your partner before the needs of yours, and adopt the "what' s his is hers and vice versa" attitude, then your partner will reciprocate. If on the other hand you adopt a selfish attitude and tend to put yourself first before the needs of your partner, then this will only serve to damage your marriage irreparably.
Here are just 3 elements or causes as to. why marriages fail [http://www.marriagefixer.info/] However this is only the tip of the iceberg. If you can identify with these problems and want to take action to get your marriage back on track then you need to visit [http://www.marriagefixer.info/] for some essential marriage saving advice that could change your life!

Advantages of Marriage Counseling

With approximately half of all U.S. marriages ending in divorce, it is no wonder why many couples choose to try therapy before calling things quits. Marriage counseling has become increasingly popular among many couples. Counseling as well as therapy in most U.S. cities offers a chance for people to rebuild their relationship from scratch following a major shake-up in the relationship or it offers couples the opportunity to keep their relationship on the right track. Among the reasons why people decided to go the therapy are: infidelity, death in the family, frequent arguing, and just relationship "check-ups." Below are the reasons why people go to couples therapy and how couples therapy can help each person:
1. Infidelity in the marriage is probably one of the most common reasons why couples choose to attend therapy sessions. A therapist will help the couple understand why the infidelity occurred and how to make sure it does not happen again. Mostly, the psychologist meets with each person individually at first, and then the couple comes in together once progress has been made with each individual and each person is ready to work together again.
2. A death in the family can cause a lot of problems in a marriage and a therapist can help in the healing process. Now, each case of a death in the family is very different. For example, a couple who loses a child needs much different treatment than a couple who is dealing with the loss of a parent. A therapist will assist the couple in looking to the future and how each person can support the other. Most of the time, the psychologist will have both individuals write down how they need to be supported and use that as the starting point for the therapy.
3. Frequent arguing in the relationship is another common explanation as to why people opt to attend therapy. For this type of problem, the psychologist will most likely help the couple understand why they are arguing so much by first having each person in the relationship decide what they want from the relationship.
4. Finally, because of the frequent divorce rate, couples are becoming more proactive by using couples therapy as a preventive measure to avoid getting to the point of infidelity, or frequent arguing and how to prepare to handle tough family situations. This type of therapy requires the couple to continuously work on making their relationship better by constantly changing their needs and goals for the relationship.
Unlike the stigma from a few decades ago, therapy is now seen as something that can help thousands of couples with their relationship. Normally, if each person in the pair is willing to put forth the work, therapy can put marriages back on the right track. With the odds today, it is important for people to try to identify their problems quickly and if possible, try to work on them so divorce is a last resort after all the work that is possible has been put into the relationship and it still does not work.

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Dealing With A Difficult Husband Who No Longer Loves You

Living with a difficult husband who wants out of the marriage is like living in hell. The eggshells you have to walk on and the tension is so thick it keeps you confined like you are in a box. I know it's difficult and yet for some reason you are still together.
Your marriage was not meant to be this way. Unfortunately it's more common now than ever before. Sometimes the more you try to deal with a difficult husband the more difficult he becomes.
You try to be nice and he takes advantage of your niceness. You act irritated and angry and he is twice as mean and spiteful. Something has to give or your marriage will get more difficult, if that's possible.
It's normal for couples to drift apart. What's not normal is how they drift apart. I don't like it when couples divorce. I'm the product of divorced parents and all I can say is I think it's much better to grow up with both parents involved in your life.
If your husband is being difficult and he has said he no longer loves you that might be true or it could be him trying to put space between you. Either way I know your heart is broken. I hope today is the day that your relationship begins to get better. Yes, all it takes is one word or action to change your husband's heart and mind towards you and your marriage. Until that happens, please don't give up.
One thing I would recommend when dealing with your husband is to do the unexpected and do what seems unnatural. For example;
  1. If you normally make negative or sarcastic comments to him refrain from doing so. If you don't have anything nice or positive to say don't say anything at all.
  2. Perhaps you have continued to cater to his every wish, despite how he has treated you. Try letting him do for his self on occasion so he sees how it is fending for himself. Just the little things that you go out of your way for him.
  3. Spend some quality time doing some fun things without him and be joyous. Your husband shouldn't be the giver and taker of your joy. Your life involves your husband but shouldn't revolve around your husband.
You might feel as though your marriage is over and so might your husband. Only time will tell. However, while you are still together you need to give it your all to make it work. Regardless of how bad your marriage problems are you can overcome them.
Marriage infidelity is difficult but can be overcome by love and forgiveness. Absenteeism is just an opportunity to get re-acquainted to forgive the past and move forward loving and caring for each other.
The key to dealing with a difficult husband and marital situation is to say and do the right things, at the right time in the right manner. Your words do matter. Your actions, interactions and re-actions can determine what ultimately happens in your marriage.
Aren't you tired of fighting over meaningless non-sense? What you are fighting about or feeling angry or tense about most likely is not the real culprit. Until you figure out what the root cause of your marital issues are you will struggle to overcome them.
For example, are you angry about your husband working too many hours or is it that you don't see the fruits of his extra labor? Perhaps it's not his hours but what you suspect that he is doing? Do you think your husband is cheating on you?
You see, if you are not being honest with each other, how will you ever solve the problem?
I'm convinced with a little help you can turn your marriage around. I hope with all of my heart that your pain is a little less each day and is replaced by joy. You might just find out that your marriage is not destined for an ugly divorce. If that happens you and I will be rejoicing.
Dealing with a difficult husband who no longer loves you is hard and I don't pretend otherwise. However, despite how it seems he does have a heart. It just needs a jump start to get it beating for you again. If you would like more tips on getting your marriage back on track, please see here; Help In Marriage

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Managing Divorce Prospects With Marriage Counseling

Experts on family relationships and marriage, therapists and marriage counselors agree of the emotional scar that is made by parent's divorce on the children. The effect of this dark episode in their lives has pervading effect that manages to complicate their own relationships, their parenting and their attitude towards work.
Studies have shown that individuals who witnessed the divorce of their parents tend to be become troublesome, sexually active, lapse into alcoholism and even go through divorce themselves. If no proper intervention in the form of family therapy is undertaken during the difficult process of their parent's divorce, the emotional scar of the children can lead to serious complications later. The negative effect starts to show it ugly head when these children reach the age of 20s and 30s. These individuals would sometimes feel their inadequacy to hold on to a long term relationship and they become depressed or despondent. Before these emotional problems of the children become irreversible, it is important that the parents voluntarily submit themselves to counseling.
A major contributory factor of most failed marriages that eventually led to divorces is financial problem. Most family relationship and marriage counselors have incorporated in their program financial planning. This is an acknowledgment by therapists of the strong influence of the financial element in the success of marriage. Experts believe that no matter how serious the problems faced by married couples there is still a lot of reason to hope that things can be straighten with the proper attitude of both. One critical aspect of the marriage is the proper financial planning that should be done to keep the family afloat during difficult times.
People who are inveterate spenders often end up splurging unnecessarily beyond their means and bringing the entire family deeper in the financial sinkhole. Experts agree that the best therapy is through a comprehensive setting up of clear goals and plan affecting the finances of the family.
The best way to thresh out thorny issues of a troubled marriage is by counseling with psychological health counselors before even thinking of attorneys. Divorce counseling may not even be a good idea at this stage of the relationship as the whole exercise addresses the need to smoothen out the separation process rather than save the marriage. However, if you have tried marriage counseling without any success, then you might consider moving on to the next level and submit yourselves for divorce counseling to smoothen out the separation process and make it less painful for all parties including the children.
Sensitive issues during the separation process normally involve the children and the conjugal properties. It is essential that you seek divorce assistance before things blow up on your faces. With proper family therapy, estranged couples can gain acceptance and sense of closure. Once the proper attitude is developed and the bitterness is eliminated from the equation, the couples and the family can move on to finish the separation process.
With professional help, the family is brought through the difficult process of separation making sure that everyone, including the children, is able to come out of this very painful procedure with total acceptance and resolve to move on and continue their separate lives.

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Is Your Relationship on the Rocks? Consider Couples Therapy

It is normal for couples to experience difficulties at different times in their relationship. For those couples who are unable to resolve conflicts, couples therapy is an excellent option. Marriage is both rewarding, and at times painful. Therapy is a way of resolving problems and conflicts that you haven't been able to handle effectively on your own.
Your therapist is a professionally trained, objective third party who will listen to both partners as they express their thoughts and feelings. The therapists' goal is to help the couple identify and clarify problem areas in their relationship. Marriage counselling does not include children or other family members, and instead focuses solely on the couple and their relationship. Therapists are trained to respect the values of others and not impose their own values or be judgemental. The marriage counselling process can be similar to individual psychotherapy, like mediation or more educational (or a combination of these three approaches).
Therapists can help strengthen your relationship in a number of ways. Therapists:
1. Act as a mediator and attempt to clarify misunderstandings in communication
2. Help partners consider alternative ways of handling problematic situations
3. Offer a perspective that is not obvious to you or your partner
4. Help you anticipate and deal with issues that you may face in the future, before they become a problem (such preventative help is often a goal of pre-marital counselling)
There can be many different types of problems in a relationship, and each type of problem can have a different cause. Depending on the couple, their situation and personality, problems will vary greatly. Common causes of problems in relationships include:
1. Issues originating outside of the relationship, including job loss, illness and conflict in the family
2. Personality conflicts within the relationship
3. Issues stemming from natural stages in the growth of a relationship
Counsellors can help you develop skills to help improve a number of barriers to a successful relationship. Focusing on the total relationship, therapists can help with:
1. Lack of communication or miscommunication
2. Frequent or constant arguments and persistent conflicts
3. Unfulfilled emotional needs
4. Financial concerns
5. Conflicts about children
6. Power struggles within the relationship
7. Differences in sexual desire
8. Lack of sexual intimacy
9. Infidelity and feelings of betrayal after an affair
10. Emotional disconnection (leading separate lives)
11. Reconciliation after separation
Sometimes individual conflicts and personal problems can affect a relationship, including:
1. Low self-esteem
2. Illness
3. Work-related stress
4. Being in a committed relationship (which is challenging for some individuals)
Couples retreats and workshops are also excellent options for couples experiencing difficulties. These alternatives to traditional counselling provide similar benefits of therapy in a tranquil setting without the usual time restraints. Time away from work and family commitments can offer couples a more intensive setting to rediscover themselves individually and as a couple.
In addition to the benefits of strengthening your relationship, resolving conflict and feeling closer to your partner, couples counselling can also teach you a number of important skills, including learning how to:
1. Communicate more effectively
2. Become a more effective listener
3. Avoid competing with your partner
4. Work together as a team
5. Identify common life goals
6. Share responsibilities within your relationship
If you and your partner are experiencing conflict which you are having difficulty solving on your own, remember that there are numerous advantages and benefits to couples therapy.

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What Can I Do to Save My Marriage - 5 Tips

Are you asking yourself this question: "What can I do to save my marriage?" Then the following tips will be of benefit to you in solving your problems and preventing your marriage from heading to divorce.
The first step is to set outside a period of reflection. This is the time for you to stop worrying but to think and map out a plan on how to solve your marriage problems. In doing this, you have be sincere with yourself because you have to examine yourself thoroughly on what role you played that have might lead to or contributed to the present situation in your marriage.
The next step is to involve your spouse. Find out what they think of the situation and what they think is the preferred or possible solution. If you and your spouse are lucky, you may arrive to suitable and sustainable solution, to your marriage problems. But if the reverse is the case, you have to proceed to the next step.
This step implores you to involve third party and are close to both you and your partner. You have to involve people who you are sure have your interest and your happiness at heart. These may include your parents, close relatives, and friends. These people will serve as mediators between you and your spouse, in finding a lasting solution to your problems by offering a valuable advice.
If the above step, do not solve your predicaments, you can then opt for a marriage counseling service, this means inviting a distant third party to your affairs. But if you are going for a marriage counseling center, you should choose the christen marriage counseling outfit ahead of the secular ones. This Christian marriage counseling program will help in serving your marriage and more importantly will also make your marriage stronger. It will also help in drawing you and your partner closer to God. Another advice why I said you should opt for the Christian marriage center is that, it is less expensive when compared to the secular counseling outfits, in fact the Christian counselors will serve you nothing and their services are absolutely free because they see it as part of their service to humanity and God Almighty.
Another alternative to seeking the marriage counseling program in saving your marriage is to consult one of the many books that are available online. This can actually be a breakthrough choice for a lot of couples because it makes you and your partner to go on your own pace. All most all of these online books provide an easy step by step guidance on how to save your marriage and build a happy and peaceful home.
The process of saving your marriage from heading to a divorce starts with you doing a proper self examination and reflection, taking the ideas and opinions of your partner into consideration and seeking help from outside source either from close relatives or marriage counseling services.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3663323

Marriage Counseling - What Do Husbands Really Want in a Wife?

Because many men do not discuss feelings as easily as most women do, wives are often shocked when their husband actually voices his desire to separate or divorce. They might have suspected that their spouse wasn't entirely happy, but they didn't think he'd ever be the one to end the marriage.
Sometimes the husband can't give a specific answer as to why he feels the way he does. He just finally gets to the point where he can't continue living the way he is. Sometimes, these feelings are brought to a head by the awareness that he's getting older and life is passing him by. Or the feelings of
discontent can be activated when another female finds him attractive and makes a play for him.
In couples marriage counseling sessions, typical questions asked are "What does he want from me that I'm not giving him?" "How can I be interested in sex when I'm exhausted from everything I do for our three kids every day?" "We've made it through some really tough times and I thought things were getting better, so why would he leave now?" All of these questions and many others haunt the surprised wives.
To better understand what husbands want, let's look at some of the priorities men have shared with me in marriage counseling sessions:
1. Men want to be appreciated for what they contribute to the marriage and family. They don't want to be taken for granted. Some men have said, "I feel like she only values my paycheck and if I weren't here anymore, she'd be fine with that." Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and husbands are no exception.
It's easy to focus on what a spouse isn't doing, especially if a husband and wife are disagreeing about how much each should help with the kids or around the house. The wise wife will express appreciation for what her husband is currently doing and for the positive qualities he brings to the marriage, even while discussions continue about things she'd like to see done differently in the future.
2. Husbands enjoy seeing their wives smile and laugh, and they find smiles and laughter appealing. They do enjoy having their wives appreciate their jokes or stories, but they also like to see their wives just looking happy in general. This doesn't mean going around with a fake grin and pretending everything is fine when it isn't. But it does mean keeping a sense of humor in spite of problems and being able to shut the door on worries temporarily when you have some "down time" with your spouse.
3. Husbands want to feel that their wives really care about their welfare and about them on a deep level. They want their wife to spend time with them, to be concerned about their health, happiness, and well-being.
Especially as men age, the feeling that a spouse doesn't really care about them cuts deeply, even if the husband never shows that he's hurt by the lack of affection and caring. They don't want to feel that the kids always come first and that their preferences and needs are overlooked.
In numerous homes, this dynamic is what gets off balance and leads to serious relationship problems. The wife thinks she's doing what's best by putting the kids' needs first, not realizing that the husband is as hurt as he is by this.
4. Husbands want private time with their wives--not just for sex, although that's important--but also to do activities together on their own. This is where making time for a "date night out" every week or so is important. Then the husband and wife can see a movie they want to see, uninterrupted by the kids, or have a peaceful meal at a restaurant. They can go bowling or dancing or get together with friends and keep their identity as an adult couple, not just as parents.
I have seen couples in counseling through the years who have decided not to ever leave their kids with a babysitter or go out on their own. This is always a red flag to me of an unwise course of action in the marriage. A heightened sense of passion between spouses is helped by time alone, "date time," private time, time for the important part of the relationship that exists beyond the kids to be strengthened and nurtured.
5. Husbands want a satisfying sex life. You knew we'd eventually get to sex, didn't you? So here it is. A marriage without a passionate sex life is lacking a key ingredient that wives all too often underestimate. And the reality is that a husband who does not have a satisfying sexual relationship with his wife is much more vulnerable to becoming involved with someone else.
Yes, I know there are couples who over time stop having sex and yet both partners choose to stay in the marriage, but in many cases, there's a resulting sense of resignation and dullness in the marriage. The fire or passionate spark that helps a couple to stay together is missing, so there's often a lack of "life" or energy in the relationship.
Wives can argue until they're blue in the face that sex shouldn't mean so much to husbands, but the reality is that it usually does have a high priority on the husband's list. Why? Because it feels good, because it makes him feel attractive and desired, because it enhances satisfaction with the marriage, because it can help the husband to feel closer and more connected to his wife, and because it relieves stress.
Use these five areas above to open discussion with your husband about how he feels in the marriage and whether his needs are being met. After all, that's one of the keys to marriage success--opening the communication door so that each spouse can share from his or her viewpoint and feel heard by the partner.

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How to Sustain a Loving Marriage

With nearly one in every two marriages ending in divorce, concerned spouses want to know what they can do to increase the odds of their marriage surviving. How to have a successful marriage remains one of the most popular topics for magazine articles, books, television talk shows, and discussions between friends.
Most people enter marriage with many unvoiced expectations of the other partner and about what it means to be married. A wife may think that her husband doesn't love her if he doesn't remember to give her a gift on the anniversary date of when they met. A husband may feel unloved when his wife is too busy to sit by him when he's watching his favorite television shows.
In reality, these behaviors may have nothing at all to do with whether love is present in the marriage or not. As an anonymous author stated, "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you the best way they know how."
If you have definite expectations and you also happen to be a "historian," the stage is set for a lengthy listing of all of your partner's faults whenever you are upset. The current problems never get resolved because of all the "baggage" from the past that is brought into the dispute. The cataloging of past wrongs distracts you from the present issues, adds confusion, and can feel overwhelming.
"One of the keys to happiness," observed Rita Mae Brown, "is a bad memory." Of course, if important issues have been buried in the relationship and never addressed, it is important to do so, and this is often best accomplished with the help of a marriage counselor.
Once you begin lying or covering up, no matter how minor it is, you are hurting your relationship. It is easy to rationalize to yourself that a "little white lie" is for the other person's good, but when you stop being completely honest, you are affecting the quality of the intimacy in the marriage.
Telling lies requires energy to remember what you have said, to whom, and when. Often, one lie seems to lead to another as you keep trying to cover yourself. If the truth comes out later, then trust is damaged.
A story is told about a wife hitting her husband on the head with a frying pan. "What's that for?" he asks. She replies, "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it." After he responds that Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses he had bet on recently, she apologizes.
Three days later when he's again sitting in his chair reading, she knocks him out cold with the frying pan. When he comes to, he asks, "What the heck was that for?" She responds, "Your horse phoned." The only way to preserve trust in marriage is to commit to being totally and completely honest at all times, even when it is difficult and uncomfortable to tell the truth.
In successful marriages, spouses honor the natural rhythms and cycles of the relationship, knowing that at certain times, they will feel closer to each other, and that at other times, there will be more distance in their dance of intimacy. They experience the truth of the words by Mignon McLaughlin, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." There is total commitment in every way to the marriage and to the other partner, and preserving the romance is a priority for both.
Partners in successful, loving marriages want the best for the other partner and want to be supportive of that person's needs, dreams, and goals. They want to show their love and appreciation for the other person in as many ways as they possibly can.
Even when they disagree or have substantial conflict, they want to do everything they can to protect the quality of the intimacy and the fabric of the relationship. They know that everything they say and everything they do has an important impact on the relationship.
Marriage provides an opportunity for you to reach inside yourself and to locate your places of deepest wounding that need healing. Everyone has defenses, ways of shutting down or shutting others out when they feel hurt, angry, or fearful. These defenses can block your ability to experience deep intimacy with another.
According to the poet Rumi, "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." As always, the road to self-growth and emotional health leads to examining your own behavior and how you need to change, instead of focusing on how your partner should change.
There is no escape from doing your own inner work during the course of the marriage. To make real headway toward creating a loving marriage, focus on how you can be more loving and how you need to grow, instead of being distracted by what you perceive your partner's faults to be.

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Arranged Marriages: More Successful or Have Same Success Rate As Love Marriages?

Is it true that ARRANGED marriages have higher SUCCESS rate than LOVE marriages?
Marriage not only defines the social reunion between a man and a woman but also the reintegration between two families. Most western societies tend to deride arrange marriages as backward, uncivilized, primitive, and are thought as business arrangements made in order to join families for economic and social status reasons.
India is a country where many different religions dwell and a country where arranged marriages are more prevalent. Majority of the country lives in its villages where traditions are strong and because of this traditions which are still alive, marriages that are arranged are thought as being more successful than love marriages as they tend to take place in societies and cultures with strong sense of values of marriage.
It is true that when you think of arranged marriage, you imagine that how can someone agree to spend their life with a complete stranger...how is going to work? But, despite of what assumptions people have about arranged marriages they do tend to have a higher success rate. The reason being, in this type of marriages the primary emphasis is NOT on love, sex, and physical beauty but because the spouses get to know each other on primary level first, looking beyond trivial issues as beauty or lack thereof. The couples have much more common in terms of religion, background, culture, caste, and social status which is very important in establishing a strong foundation.
After living in India for 18 years and growing up in a joint family, seeing how successful the relationship of my parents and my other family members has been, I have been a strong believer of arranged marriages. In my point of view, it's the traditions that people follow in India is what has kept the belief of arranged marriages alive. These traditions are not only important in laying a strong foundation for arrange marriages, but they also are major contributing factor in bringing two families together and making a stronger bond not only between the couple but also the family members.
On other hand, love marriages focus more on and give greater importance on physical aspect of relationships, and thus are obsessed with love, beauty, etc. Physical attraction is important in any relationship but it is not the only thing, as giving importance to physical attraction which soon wears off, then there will be nothing left to build upon. Moreover, in love marriages the couple wants more independence and freedom which can be a factor resulting in the couple drifting apart from their relatives and other family members. Attending family functions and following certain traditions that demand your presence can be an important contributor in successful marriage.
Furthermore, arranged marriages are based on facts (TRUTH behind LOVE), integrity, ambition, humility, and generosity. The thought of just thinking about humiliation of herself and the family for an Indian woman is devastating. That is the reason why when in arranged marriage, when the couple begins to discover each other, they will try hard to make it work. And when the arranged couples really DO learn to love each other, it results most often in a life- long lasting; permanent arrangement and will rarely end up in DIVORCE.
Arrange marriages are likely to be more successful compared to love marriages because while physical charms are transient, companionship born from common ties lasts forever. The truth is that, you can LEARN TO LOVE anyone you want to, and to LOVE or not is YOUR decision.
Charmi Patel is a home business author, student, and an EMT.
She believes that arrange marriages are more prevalent in lot of countries, especially India. Also, she wants to share that one important factor that serves a a necessity in making marriage more successful is Education. She thinks that education is a vital element in making one's life successful. She wants to share with everyone how important education is in today's society and that no one should be deprived of education.
You can find out more about the importance of Education at: http://choosingtherightcareerforyou.blogspot.com/

Sexless Marriage Help - Causes, Communication & Solutions

While it may once have been taboo to speak about more and more men and women are looking for sexless marriage help when their marriage becomes cold and lifeless in the bedroom. In fact is has become quite a topic of hot debate with books such as "The Sex Diaries - Why Women go off Sex & Other Bedroom Battles" hitting bookstore shelves which has drawn heavy criticism for being so one sided in bias of men and derogatory of women but has also managed to elicit many comments on how true it is from men and women alike.
Clearly this is a controversial and loaded issue that should not be treated lightly especially when words such as marital rape, depression, and of course divorce rear their ugly head but such charged emotions show a clear disconnect in how we see this phenomenon of sexless marriage and how you can solve it.
To take an impartial view on the causes and solutions to a sexless marriage I should clearly state that I am male but have talked to many women about such an issue as well as many guys online and in person to draw the conclusions I have. I hope to be unbiased in this issue to encourage similar responses rather than rabid tribalism from various groups who seem to comment on this issue.
Causes of a Sexless Marriage
This is probably much harder to talk about than the solutions to a sexless marriage! The reasons can be so varied and so detailed and so specific to a particular marriage as to make generalizing the issue alienating to many and insulting to others but I will try to cover as many bases as possible.
The reasons that one partner in a marriage may become disinterested in sexual activities can be physical but much more commonly is emotional or psychological if you will. Even then some physical problems such as male impotence that seem physical may have psychological problems at their root too confusing the issue more. If the reason is physical and you do not know exactly what it is then it may manifest itself as rejection of sex rather than talking about the problem. More on communication about this issue later though however the other physical problem many refer to is simply that one partner has a LOW sex drive while the other has a much HIGHER sex drive which I personally believe is only half true seeing many couples who have worked through this have suddenly found their sex drive again or have found a midway point which lead to my next point.
The emotional issues more often than not are the real bugbears in a sexless marriage though when issues within a marriage or external influences or even emotional problems within your partners mind resurface. This is where the huge variety comes in so excuse me if I list a few in point form that seem to be common:
  • Resentment over household duties
  • Resentment over past arguments
  • Resentment over past actions
  • Resentment for any deeply buried issue that has not been solved!
  • Depression
  • Severe body image issues with themselves
  • Body image issues with their partner
  • Sheer exhaustion mentally and physically (Children and work as main culprits for both men and women)
  • Sexual abuse (recent or past)
  • Boredom!
I could go on but as you can see some are of extreme concern whereas others can seem almost trivial or petty. In many of these cases however there is still a lot of love and compassion within the marriage until things drift too far for sexless marriage help to be able to solve anything.
Sexless Marriage Help & Solutions
With such a wide variety of problems in a sexless marriage many husbands and wives may despair as to what they can do. There are two schools of thought on this which may be applicable to different couples' sexless marriage situations. One school of thought is that communication is paramount and that talking through the issues carefully to then finding mutual solutions to the problems is the answer. The other, is that communication problems may be one of the issues at work here and personal action to increase attraction by your own efforts is the way to excite your spouse more.
Both have their good and bad points and a lot depends on what the root causes of this lack of intimacy in your marriage are.
Communication in a Sexless Marriage
I am a great believer in good communication within a marriage but I must also admit that in many cases I have heard of the partner who wishes to initiate sex but has been rejected many times by their spouse often try to do this but are rebuffed angrily and are at a loss of what to do next. Others though think that this hardly deserves to be an issue as a marriage should be about regular sex and take rejection as an insult. To those men or women I have to say you NEED to start communicating not just groping and hoping then acting hurt. If you wish to broach this subject with your spouse then you need to do one thing first and this is the most important thing you will ever know in this regard.
Make your conversation about them and their wishing, feelings and problems! Never make it all about YOUR wishes and feelings though they are valid.
This is because a person who feels harassed for sex only thinks you are trying to TAKE from them for self satisfaction and when you whine or complain or make it about you the same needy vibe is cast. This can be unfair because the hurt and shame of being rejected by your spouse can leave a serious mark on your self esteem but if you want a solution putting this aside is vital.
Once you do this you can start making headway in finding out why they are so withdrawn and cold physically if you promote an atmosphere where you are not casting blame and are willing to truly listen because good communication is 90% listening not talking! Some problems can only be navigated once you know the full extent of them especially when it stems from something external or that is not directly related to your relationship.
Action in a Sexless Marriage
While you may not be GETTING much action you can take action on this issue as well. The majority of sexless marriage end up that way because of a certain loss of attraction if not always a loss of love. We are never the same people as we once were when the relationship was new and the sex was wild and exciting, we change and we grow and evolve as people and it must be said we also change physically with age and sometimes simply with comfort levels in a stable marriage. People who drift apart emotionally also drift apart physically and couples who forget what it is to BE sexy for their partners also lose the excitement that once spurred on lovemaking.
Being sexy is something that generates sexual reciprocation and what is sexy differs between men and women and also is based on personal taste. Some men feel that a bit of extra grooming and a single romantic night out may help and be right while others find this does nothing because years of neglect of these things has left it's mark. Others try this and completely miss the point because their wife really wants support and respect more than anything and the same is true with the genders reversed.
What this means is that the wrong actions can have no effect or even worse have more negative consequences while the right actions can slowly bring passion and lust back into your sexless marriage. The best advice I can give is that if you want to change things in your relationship without psychoanalyzing every detail with your partner is to start small but on all fronts where you think they may be disgruntled. From your own appearance to the way your treat them on a daily basis and for the love of god do not BOAST about all the good things you are doing or you run the risk of sounding like that needy person who wishes to take and manipulate to get sex which becomes an instant turn off. IF you do hit upon something that elicits some form of extra intimacy no matter how small you should be looking at what that is and continue doing things like that or similar!
Each marriage is different but sexless marriage help like this can be applied to many situations and it can usually not hurt to try them at least. If you are confused as to where to go next or feel all of this has been done and failed then there are more resources on the internet that go into this is a lot more depth written by professional counselors that may help you further. Click below to find out more.
Sexless Marriage Solutions

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2474743

The Importance of Communication In Marriage

Stanley and Tabitha are celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary. The past ten years cannot be called married bliss no matter how much in love they may have been. Like many couples, they have had their share of stress and conflicts. But Stanley and Tabitha's biggest problem is that they are opposites. Tabitha enjoys the finer things in life while Stanley is like the cowboy who enjoys getting his hands dirty and the simple pleasure of sports and the outdoors. There are things they do that annoy each other that usually result in conflicts. These conflicts have resulted in stress and anxiety. Many of their friends have told them to work on their communication skills if they want save their marriage.
Like Stanley and Tabitha, millions of couples struggle with communication in marriage. Good communication plays an important role in marriage. It determines how we interact with our spouses and our children. Poor communication can be the single factor that actually leads a marriage to complete failure.
A long-lasting marriage is usually characterized by open and positive communication between the man and woman. Being able to identify problem issues is also a communication skill every married person needs to have.
There are a numerous ways to communicate with your spouse. How about improving on your communication style by reading the following types of communication:
Types of Communication:
· The Discussion Type- Having a discussions helps you and your spouse to see each other's point of view. You must learn how to express yourself in a respectful manner and listen carefully, clear up issues, and respect each other's feelings.
· The Argumentative Type - This is the worst type of communication. This usually involves shouting matches which, ironically, leads to a lack of communication in marriage.
· The Passive Type - You simply don't do anything, ignore any misunderstandings, and choose to be silent about any issues. This is a type of "non-communication" that does nothing to resolve problems.
Types of Conflict Resolution
Every couple should practice these conflict resolution techniques. A marriage cannot succeed if conflicts are not being discussed and resolved. Couples should know the ways different people approach a conflict. These approaches are as follows:
1. The Avoidant Type - By avoiding stressful topics, this type actually causes conflicts to get worse. Couples who avoid conflicts respect each other's private space and tend to live in a dull manner without all of the passion. This avoidance of discussions can cause issues to go unresolved which leads to complications.
2. The Validating Type - This involves acknowledging one another's feelings, discussing all points of view, and coming to a resolution. Couples who practice this type of communication respect each other as friends and value their relationship rather than their own personal gains.
3. The Hostile Type- When couples argue over who is right rather than discussing each other's feelings, divorce or separation usually follows. When couples respect each other as equals and respect each other's independence, they are open to more constructive ways of resolving conflicts and avoid the heated arguments hostile behavior.
Tips for a Successful Marriage
A couple's success depends a lot on good communication in marriage and constructive resolutions. Here are some simple tips to help your marriage last:
· Being affectionate to one another
· Show your concern and how much you care
· Exchange thoughtful gifts with one another
· Show your appreciation
· Try and have a sense of humor
· Share in each other's enjoyment
In order to keep a marriage healthy, couples must share each other's interests and learn new things together. They should accept each other's weaknesses and points of view even when they don't agree. Indeed, marriage is a matter of compromise that takes effort from both of you.
You can read more here: Save My Marriage Today Review

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6163235

How to Improve Communication Skills - Showing Value and Respect

When it comes to learning how to improve communication skills, you must first realize that you use communication in every aspect of your life. Communication is used with your friends, family, co-workers and in your love relationships. There are a few people in this world who do well with communicating, and then there are the many that need help. Communication skills can be learned and once you master the skill, many will never know that you were once unable to communicate properly. With only a few steps, you can be on your way to chatting it up with a stranger and understanding your romantic partner better.
The first thing many people think of when it comes to learning how to improve communication skills is talking. However, listening is actually one of the most important qualities of successful communication. When you take the time to truly listen and give your full attention to the person who is speaking to you, you will learn what their needs are and be able to better communicate with them. Also, it is a good idea to take some time and think before you start thinking. When you think, you will be more honest and the ideas you are trying to convey will be clearer.
Once you have thought about what you want to say and you have listened to the person who is speaking to you, the next best piece of advice on how to improve communication skills is to have eye contact. Good eye contact will allow you to inform whomever you are talking with that you are interested in what they are saying to you and that you understand them. When people, especially those you love, do not feel as though you are listening to them while they are talking, they will more than likely shut down and begin not communicating with you at all.
When you slow down and take the time to talk to those around you and genuinely be interested in what they are saying to you, you have begun to learn how to improve communication skills. There is really not magic formula that will make you a better communicator. You simply need to take the time and practice. When you listen to the ones you love the most, you will get more joy out of the relationship because people want to feel valued and respected no matter what it is that they are saying.
David is a leading expert in how to improve communication skills. For more information on love and relationships, visit Relationships.
Blessed Warrior Inc.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6142428

Improving Communication in Marriage - Tips for How to Begin Connecting Again

Throughout the years of marriage it's not uncommon for the level of communication amongst each other to unfortunately breakdown. And, by improving communication in marriage it will help to keep the relationship between the both of you alive.
The importance of good communication spawns in just about all avenues of life from team sports, within marriages, and even in business.
Together each of you should be able to have equal say when discussing things and also be able to reach a compromise if necessary. Making progress will be made easier if you can each talk to one another about concerns or issues in a calm manner.
So, by taking into consideration your spouses thoughts and feelings is truly what improving communication in marriage is all about. Instead of coming across in a manner seeming like you're suspicious or in the form of nagging ask some questions to find out what is really on their mind.
A good way to start off is by asking them how their day went. As simple as it seems, it can be easily forgotten as time goes on. And, also this makes it clear just how much you care. While worry may have come across the face of your loved one, it may have been possible that you did not want to pressure them to share with you what was on their mind.
To let them know how much you care, it can be worth asking them what is concerning them. Make it known that you'd like to talk about whatever it is that's bothering them if they would like to share it with you.
Know that engaging in the act of listening usually comes first before talking when improving communication in marriage. Patiently hearing them out and taking on board what they share with you is often a solid way to make it known to them that you've been listening to what has been said.
And, to prove you've been paying attention, restate back to them what they have just said as you understand it. A great way to get a good conversation underway can be when you each have a mutual interest in something.
Even though, it has been said that in order to keep communication in a relationship going, the watching of TV should really be restricted, and while there are exceptions to this rule as with anything, the most recent TV show can sometimes make a great topic of discussion or even the most recent developments occurring on the evening news.
One important thing to remember is being sure to laugh often.
With the economy somewhat rocking and tough times happening, being trapped at home together can really make things even more difficult to take. So, it can help to constantly do fun activities outside from the house to maintain some excitement in your lives.
This can include an evening out at your local comedy club, going dancing, playing some snooker, or possibly even checking out the latest comedy movie. Aside from many other ideas. Always remember that proper communication is one of the essential elements for a successful marriage.
To find out even more great ways for improving marriage communication, be sure to head on over to: Improving Communication in Marriage.
You can also start discovering various other effective methods for resolving marital conflicts, regaining that relationship spark and much more by visiting the Rescue Marriage Now site.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6129556
Throughout the years of marriage it's not uncommon for the level of communication amongst each other to unfortunately breakdown. And, by improving communication in marriage it will help to keep the relationship between the both of you alive.
The importance of good communication spawns in just about all avenues of life from team sports, within marriages, and even in business.
Together each of you should be able to have equal say when discussing things and also be able to reach a compromise if necessary. Making progress will be made easier if you can each talk to one another about concerns or issues in a calm manner.
So, by taking into consideration your spouses thoughts and feelings is truly what improving communication in marriage is all about. Instead of coming across in a manner seeming like you're suspicious or in the form of nagging ask some questions to find out what is really on their mind.
A good way to start off is by asking them how their day went. As simple as it seems, it can be easily forgotten as time goes on. And, also this makes it clear just how much you care. While worry may have come across the face of your loved one, it may have been possible that you did not want to pressure them to share with you what was on their mind.
To let them know how much you care, it can be worth asking them what is concerning them. Make it known that you'd like to talk about whatever it is that's bothering them if they would like to share it with you.
Know that engaging in the act of listening usually comes first before talking when improving communication in marriage. Patiently hearing them out and taking on board what they share with you is often a solid way to make it known to them that you've been listening to what has been said.
And, to prove you've been paying attention, restate back to them what they have just said as you understand it. A great way to get a good conversation underway can be when you each have a mutual interest in something.
Even though, it has been said that in order to keep communication in a relationship going, the watching of TV should really be restricted, and while there are exceptions to this rule as with anything, the most recent TV show can sometimes make a great topic of discussion or even the most recent developments occurring on the evening news.
One important thing to remember is being sure to laugh often.
With the economy somewhat rocking and tough times happening, being trapped at home together can really make things even more difficult to take. So, it can help to constantly do fun activities outside from the house to maintain some excitement in your lives.
This can include an evening out at your local comedy club, going dancing, playing some snooker, or possibly even checking out the latest comedy movie. Aside from many other ideas. Always remember that proper communication is one of the essential elements for a successful marriage.
To find out even more great ways for improving marriage communication, be sure to head on over to: Improving Communication in Marriage.
You can also start discovering various other effective methods for resolving marital conflicts, regaining that relationship spark and much more by visiting the Rescue Marriage Now site.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6129556