Secrets to a Successful Marriage

Approximately fifty percent of all marriages in America end in divorce. For the other fifty percent, there is no guarantee that their marriages are happy, thriving ones.Where then can we look for a model of happy marriages?
John Gottman, a psychologist known for his work on relationships and marital stability, can accurately predict which couples will end in divorce with 94% accuracy just by observing them. In his quest to find the secrets to healthy long-term marriages, said "I was not able to crack the code to saving marriages until I started to analyse what went right in happy marriages." Shifting the focus from what is going wrong to what is going right is the first step to attaining happiness.
Happily married couples (those that have been together for 30, 40, 50+ years) seem to have one common answer when asked about the secret of their successful commitment together. The reply almost always sounds like this: they married their best friend.
Being able to share your most intimate dreams, goals and fears with your life partner brings you closer together and allows both partners to feel understood. Imagine always being around your best friend, feeling understood, and having access to unlimited support. This is what an ideal marriage (or relationship) can feel like with a little effort.
In fact, another common response from happy couples is that they constantly work to improve their relationship. This can mean many things to many people. Here are a few suggestions:

• Try to find out something new about your partner.
• Share something about yourself that your partner doesn't know.
• Do more activities together.
• Ritualize a date together on a weekly or monthly basis.
• Find common goals and encourage each other to attain them together.

Focus on those little things that you appreciate about them and let them know about it. All too often we tend to focus on the negatives and lose sight of the positives. Appreciation can go a long way to increase the quality of a relationship. Don't limit yourself to just telling them how you appreciate them: show them. Prepare a special little action that says what words can't. An unexpected bouquet of flowers, or loving note left under their pillow are fun ways to let them feel your gratitude.
Conflicts are an inevitable part of any healthy relationship. Learning how to deal with conflicts can actually be an opportunity for growth and build resilience within the relationship. During conflicts, we have an opportunity to know more about the inner feelings of our partner and therefore, get closer to them. In fact, having no conflict in a relationship is often a sign that something is wrong. Being able to express your true feelings instead of repressing them is an important part of a healthy relationship. Utilizing proper social skills and communication skills is the secret to effectively dealing with and benefiting from a conflict. Here then are a few tips for handling conflicts:

• Express your point of view in an assertive (as opposed to aggressive) way.
• Let your partner express their point of view (active listening).
• Criticize the behaviour not the person.
• Negotiate a compromise (if possible).
• Learn from the experience.

Following these suggestions from couples whom have succeeded at bettering the quality of their relationships over time is a great way for a relationship to flourish and continue growing for years to come. In fact, the closer you become as a couple, the more resilient and happier you will be, and it is more likely that your relationship will thrive.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3829469

Saving Your Marriage Now Before It's Too Late

The rapid increase of divorce is one of the most discouraging facts in our world today; over 2 million couples divorce each year. These marriages can't be saved because of the unwillingness or inability of a couple to withstand the difficulties in their relationship and work them out. Good communication could have prevented a number of these cases. Maintaining the passion, trust, romance, and communication in a marriage is not always easy while also trying to maintain a busy life, but these attributes are the key to a healthy marriage and must be maintained to keep yours from ending in divorce.
While it's normal to have occasional misunderstandings or disputes with your spouse, ideally you want to be able to sit down and discuss your problems and resolve the matter peacefully. The reality is that this does not always happen. Emotions often take control, tempers flare, and a simple misunderstanding can be blown out of proportion and form a rift between you and your spouse. So, what if a situation like this arose in your marriage and you had only one week to save it? Could you do it? With that in mind, here are some tips to help you do just that.
1. Avoid provoking negative responses with questions or comments on a topic that has brought conflict before. This would only make you spouse feel as if you're pointing the finger at them and would put them on the defensive. You know that you would not want to be confronted this way from the person who vowed to love and cherish you; neither does your spouse. When trust has become an issue in a marriage, one partner may start to question the motives of the other, wondering where they really are or what they're doing. While, in some cases, this may be a natural response, it will not provoke a positive response, nor will it cause your spouse to give you any more reason to trust them. Even if your spouse acts this way, set the example by not practicing the same behavior. Unless you have a legitimate reason to doubt the loyalty of your spouse, suspicions should be kept to yourself.
2. Love your spouse unconditionally. As the word itself indicates, unconditional love does not require any particular response. Unconditional love is loving someone selflessly and seeing past their faults and imperfections.
3. Work on yourself. Practice being the most faithful and supportive spouse you can possibly be. Learn from the problematic situations or problems you've had in your relationship and count it as experience. Be mature enough as an individual to admit to yourself and to your partner your personal flaws or when you've made mistakes in the relationship. This will make them realize how important the marriage Is to you and how hard you're willing to work to save it.
4. Train yourself to exhibit these virtues in your relationship.
Always keep your promises
Do not let your pride rule your emotions and actions
Always consider your spouse's feelings or concerns
Always control your emotions and your temper
Respect your partner
Be honest. Trust is the key to a successful marriage
These are the ground rules for a marriage and if you abide by these things you can possibly saving your marriage is not impossible. Once the rift has come between you and your spouse, it may be difficult to bridge but with a truly sincere effort you can again find the love you had for each other when you married.

These are helpful tips, but if you would like more detailed guide to saving a relationship, check out this free report!
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Great Tips to Prevent Divorce in Your Marriage

Life is full of challenges and facing a challenge in your marriage is not an unusual situation. If you are in a fist in your marriage and it looks as if your matrimony is heading towards divorce, the tips in this article is the solution you have been waiting for. Its not too late to mend your marriage no matter how damaging it may seems right now. All you need is to believe that you can bring back the first love and start experiencing the blissful moments you had with your spouse in the past. The very important point is absolutely not to quit too early in putting a stop to divorce before its in its final stages.
1. Begin all over again - Begin with a fresh start. Remember when you first met and everything was great? Each of you seemed to know what to do. The relationship was everything you wanted, right? Become re-acquainted. Get to know each other all over again. Begin by wooing each other like you did back then. Think a minute on those special moments. Think about those moments again.
2. Celebrate your love life! - Plan for special days in romantic ways. Make a note of very special days. The ones that belong just to the two of you; your first date, when you first made love, when you moved into your home, the day you got married, the day of the proposal. Plan something really special.
3. Show affection! - There is great healing in your power of touch. Hold hands. Kiss in your car. Give your partner a massage. Spend time holding and caressing. Give your partner an extended hug every day; one that lasts several minutes. Purpose to touch each other every day.
4. Find the aid of marriage counselor if need be. There are experts in this field who could lead you both to see things truthfully and to mend the trouble area in your matrimony. No matter how deep down the pit the situation might be, these qualified personnel can help you both to manage the matter and very possibly save your marriage. It may not be an expensive consultation, but make sure it is executed prior to deciding to apply for a divorce.
5. Fun, fun, fun! - Kick your heels up and play like a kid again. Tell your partner you want to enjoy what he or she enjoys and then spend the entire day together. Make a commitment to do this regularly.
As simple as the advice above may sound, it can perform wonder if applied in faith. Take action on them now and you'll be on track to stop your divorce. You will definitely still have an opportunity at saving your marriage if you don't give up. Divorce is a very hard time for everyone to deal with. It can be very hard on a person emotionally and physically as well, therefore, make it a commitment to stop it in time.

For inspirational Articles, Tips and Resources that guaranteed you a healthy relationship and successful marriage visit: http://how-to-prevent-divorce.blogspot.com

Can Love Save Your Marriage and Stop Divorce?

Can love really save a marriage and stop divorce? In many cases, yes. Your love for each other may be the only thing left the two of you agree upon or have in common. Even when it may seem like divorce may be the only solution, if there are still feelings for each other, it is not too late to save your marriage.
Think back a time in your relationship before your problems began. Obviously, things were much better, otherwise you would not have gotten married in the first place. Since you once loved one another, the chances of finding happiness once again are good. You just need to know how to get to that point and what both of you need to do.
Relationships can take a turn for the worse for many reasons. Some of the most common ones are lack of communication, lack of intimacy, neglect, indifference, and simply just getting into the rut of daily life. These problems and issues can be overcome with commitment and determination to have a better marriage.
When struggling with marital problems, it is important to remember that men and women are different when it comes to thoughts and emotions. Women generally tend to talk about their emotions and express their emotions more than men. This does not mean that men do not feel their emotions. Men just generally tend to hold their emotions inside more than women. Women normally talk more about their thoughts than men as well.
Opening the lines of communication can be very helpful in dealing with many issues. The ability to discuss problems in a calm manner can assist in reaching a resolution. If you are unable to talk to each other, seeking the advice of a marriage counselor can often help. Having an impartial third party who is experienced in marital matters can help lead your discussions and get you on the right track.
If you truly want to save your marriage and stop divorce, your love for each other can be the key to your success.

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5 Tips to Help Save Your Marriage From Money Problems

If money problems are causing a strain in your relationship and you are looking for ways to save your marriage, there are several things you can do to make your situation better. No matter whether both you and your spouse work or if only one of you are employed, you are equal partners in your marriage and it is imperative for you to work on your financial issues together to come to a resolution. Here are some simple tips to get started on saving your marriage from money problems.
Choose The Right Time
Trying to discuss problems while the kids are running around, dinner is in the oven, and the television is on would not be a good time to talk. Find a time when both you and your spouse are not stressed from the day's activities and can have some quiet time to actually talk uninterrupted.
Make A List
To help you stay focused on your discussion, make a list of the issues you need to cover. Your list will help you to remember everything and not get side tracked.
Have A Plan
Along with your list, come prepared with a plan of action and what goals you wish to accomplish. Also, be prepared to be flexible because your spouse may have ideas to add to help achieve success.
Communicate
Make sure both of you have a chance to communicate your thoughts and plans on the issues and what course of action to take. Be courteous and really listen to your spouse. Again, your marriage is a partnership and you both need to have a say and hear each other in what needs to be done.
Have A Positive Attitude
Getting emotional, negative and accusatory will not help you solve your problems and in fact, will only make matters worse. Remember, you are not there to fight and argue. You are there to improve the situation.
You can save your marriage from money problems and your situation will get better. Just follow the tips above to get back the marriage you deserve!

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Your Biggest Marriage Problems - How to Solve Them!

Beware of these two biggest marriage problems today! They will erode your marriage and deteriorate your love for one another. They are the roots of all other problems.
The worst thing about these two problems is that most people don't even recognize them as problems. When speaking of marriage problems, most people think about infidelity or money problems, or something like that.
You must know your enemies to defeat them! So what are they?
#1 Biggest Marriage Problems
The first and worst is self-centeredness or selfishness. I know this may sound hard, but I would not be doing you justice if I didn't tell the truth.
Have you ever heard of a war that wasn't based on self-centeredness? There is always at least one nation centered on their own ambitions who goes to war against other nations to get what they want. No giving...no love...just self first.
Eliminate self-centeredness from your marriage and all contentions and fighting will disappear. How do you do that?
Simply put your spouse's desires before your own. Why should you do that? Because you love your spouse. Real love is caring enough about the other person to do what makes them happy. If both of you will just put self aside to put the other spouse first, your marriage, and your love, will light up!
#2 Biggest Marriage Problems
The second biggest cause of marriage problems is neglect. Even with the most caring people, neglect can be a real problem.
You know how it is. Before you get married you and the one you love spend countless hours together or talking on the phone. You always made it a point to date and you were sure to make time for each other. But what happens after you get married, and especially after you have children. LOTS OF DISTRACTIONS!
A good marriage is like a beautiful flower...if you neglect it, it will wilt, get diseased, and die. Don't let this happen to your marriage!
A good marriage is based on spending time together. Spending quality time together and caring for one another creates good communication and a host of other marriage-enriching qualities. However, in this busy society, that takes planning.
So why not get out a tablet and pen, sit down together with your spouse, and start scheduling time when you will be alone together each day? Then get out your calendar, and pencil-in a day each week or so when you will go out on a date...just the two of you.
You will be amazed at the how your love for each other will increase just by doing this.

There are a host of other marriage problems just waiting for a chance to destroy your relationship. To find out more on how to fix your marriage problems, go to Working Through Relationship Problems!.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2425358

Your Biggest Marriage Problems - Solve Them All!

Your biggest marriage problems can be solved! As a matter of fact, you can solve them all by right approach. Have you been struggling with these problems for too long? Then you're probably wondering, "Why can't we just solve these problems and go on?"
Well, if you can't seem to solve those problems, I would suspect that one of your biggest marriage problems is a lack of communication. Good communication in marriage is indispensable. Why do some couples seem to never have problems with their marriage? I will guarantee you that all married couples have problems, but some handle them better than others so you never see their problems. They get rid of them quickly and efficiently.
How To Make Your Biggest Marriage Problems Worse!
It is easy to make your problems worse...just don't communicate...or worse yet, communicate in the wrong way. Here's what happens so often:
1. You think that you are doing a great job of getting your point across. However, you have that certain tone in your voice and your mannerisms shout out that you angry.
2. You accuse and criticize instead of explain in a calm and loving manner. If you love your spouse, then talk to him or her in a loving manner.
3. You are only talking and not listening. Love cares about what the other feels.
4. You get defensive. Once this happens everything goes to pot. If your spouse is getting defensive, perhaps you're getting too offensive. Love and be tender.
5. You can cause your spouse to clam up. If your spouse doesn't want to talk, examine yourself to see if you come across harshly or offensively. You can be the cause. Watch the tone of your voice.
If you resolve the above issues resolving your problems will be a lot easier.
3 Steps To Resolving Your Marriage Problems
Here is a quick 3-step lesson on resolving even your biggest marriage problems through good communication:
1. Prepare before you confront your problems. Think about what the problem is and write it down so you will see it clearly. Remember, you will be talking to the one you married because you love and cherish him or her. Don't accuse or blame anyone, just tell your spouse how you feel and assure your spouse of your love. When your spouse tells you how he or she feels, don't blame, just accept that your spouse feels that way. Real love will be compassionate and desire to heal any hurt feelings.
2. Talk ahead of time about a time you will talk about your problem. Make sure it is a time when you are both rested and feel your best. Avoid talking about these things when you are tired or just come home from work.
3. Agree that you are trying to find solutions, not to argue. Once you understand how each other feels, write down some ways you can avoid repeating whatever it is that causes frustration or anger. Do all in love.

There is much more to solving problems than the above. To find more ways to solve your biggest marriage problems, go to Your Biggest Marriage Problems Or, if you want a complete solution to your marriage problems, go to SaveMyMarriageToday.com [http://www.fix-marriage-problems.com] now!

5 Tested Ways to Resolve Problems in Your Marriage

Like every other aspect of life where problems exists, marriage also has its peculiar problems. The reason there is so much confusion and divorce in the family circle today is because lots of people do not know how to solve problems in their marriage. In this article, you will learn five ways to solve problems in marriage.
1- Accepting the reality
One key factor towards resolving problems in marriage is to accept the fact that there is a problem. Once you are able to accept the reality, then working a way out of the problem is certain. Like the popular saying, once you know the cause of a problem, then 95 of it is resolved. The same principle also applies in marriage.
2- Admit your fault
The key to successfully resolving your marriage problem is to admit your fault. The best way to show a sincere commitment towards ending the problem in your marriage is to own up and accept responsibility where you are at fault. This aspect I must confess takes time to develop, but with maturity, the job becomes very easy.
3- Show genuine repentance
The best way you can prove to your spouse that you are out to end the problem is by first showing signs of genuine repentance. Let your spouse know that you are truly sorry for the offense. This also has a lasting impression on your partner because the hurting caused by you would have been nullified.
4- Make the first move
Having established that there is a problem, you will have to make the first move towards resolving the problem in your marriage. You can do this by calling your partner for a talk or walk, it depends on what you deem fit. Lots of marriages have collapsed today because either one of the partners feels too proud to make the first move.
5- Commitment
Since you have resolved your marital problem, the way forward is to ensure that you do not give room for a re occurrence of the incidence that lead to the problem in the first place. It will take a genuine effort between your partner and yourself to really work towards a mutual understanding in the future.
There is no marriage that has not got its own problems, but what keeps some relationship going is not the absence of problems, but rather the ability to resolve issues amicably as they come.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7988752

How to Save a Marriage in 5 Steps

Avoid Divorce and Find Happiness within the Marriage Again
You are searching for some different methods you can use to restore the affection, intimacy, and joy of your marriage again. You want to get back the happiness that seemed to surround the two of you when you began this journey together. You are saying to yourself, "I need to save my marriage."
When you got married to your spouse two separate and somewhat different personalities, upbringings, and possibly different cultures were united. All marriage relationships go through incidences of conflict and disagreement because of the previously mentioned personal differences that are parts of your marriage.
If the marriage relationship becomes a perpetual-cycle of conflict and dysfunction, then the strain of the marriage problems stemming from bitterness may prove to be too overwhelming. The painful and harmful feelings stemming from the bitterness of the relationship may become too intolerable. You need some serious changes in your marriage to keep both of you from getting separated. Don't let the marriage fade or worse yet become a divorce-war. A divorce often negatively affects the personal and social lives of both partners.
Available to you right now are five different ways to solve your marriage problems such as: misunderstandings, breakdowns in communication, lack of fulfillment, and loss of hope for the restoration of happiness and joy in your married life. There are marriage restoration steps that both of you can follow to solve these types of problems and save your marriage. If you ignore the marriage problems they will continue to spiral out of control.
Step 1: Agree that there are Major Problems in your Marriage
The first step to solve your marriage issues is to honestly admit and agree that the problems do exist. It will take communication and a decision to cooperate together fully in order to make any of these steps viable in your relationship. If your spouse is not interested in trying to save the marriage, then in order to influence your spouse in a positive way you could start using these methods. You will at least be able to improve your internal personal life, and you may be able to save your marriage all by yourself.
Step 2: Determine the Marriage Problems Alone
Separately, start this part of the process of determining both of your marriage problems and solutions. The next step will be worked on together, but this stage should be done on your own. Both of you should sit down separately, and write out your own list of the marriage problems from each of your own personal perspectives. Each of you putting in your own individual effort will prove to each other that both of you are serious about doing each of your parts to save the marriage. When engaging in this activity each of you should try to use the following as guidelines:
Gather facts about the marriage problems that you perceive
Make assumptions (based on making a true effort to learn about your spouse's background, experiences, personality, and the marriage problem facts that you had gathered)
Come up with your own individual solutions to your assumptions
Step 3: Have Meetings to Determine the Marriage Problems and Solutions Together
The next step to help save your marriage in crisis from divorce is to sit down cordially together with the aim of determining the marriage problems both of you agree need to be worked on together. Come together to open-up and share your individual solutions using respectful two-way communication that allows each spouse's individual solution to a particular marriage problem to be fully listened to and considered. If your communication together is not clear and/or forthcoming, then look out for subtle hints each of you will leave.
Use a peaceful, back-and-forth communication style
Next, determine together which of your individual problems have caused the marriage to suffer, such as life decision differences, lack of intimacy, abuse, work and home stress, and/or unfaithfulness
When describing a grievance, always use statements that describe how you felt instead of blaming your spouse for what transpired
If the conversation turns into an argument, then agree to take a break apart from each other until both of you are calmed down and ready to continue peacefully
Brainstorm and write down all of the most important marriage problems you both are feeling and sharing
Allow the conversation on how to solve the agreed upon problems to become a fusion of better ideas built upon each idea both of you share. Continue to do this until you both agree on the solutions you will take as marriage saving goals
Follow through on accomplishing those goals together, and hold each other respectfully accountable for each doing his or her own part
Step 4: Get Sound Advice
It is important to seek sound advice from close friends and family who truly care about you and know the two of you best. Expert books and counseling can give you options, suggestions, and help both of you in the process of coming to terms together. It can help each of you understand how to make the relationship work from both of your perspectives. Always evaluate any advice you get to see if it will work well for you and your spouse. Following one "bad apple" suggestion could spoil your marriage saving efforts, so be careful!
Step 5: Rekindle the Marriage
The perfect way to "lock-in" your efforts to save your marriage with your spouse is through reigniting your love for each other. The special, secret ingredients of marriage romance are surprises and assertive pursuit of each other and upfront honesty shared with each other. All of these aspects of romance that help build intimacy can be put into effect on a hot, candlelit date, playful displays of affection, and/or weekend getaways.
Honestly opening up to each other while you focus on "romancing-up" and saving your marriage is one of the best ways to rekindle a close marriage relationship together. Passionately getting to know each other all over again as the people you have now become will help seal the relationship building efforts you and your spouse are making together.
Conclusion
If you give each other plenty of time to follow all five marriage relationship restoring methods, then sooner or later both of you should be able to truly open-up and share your feelings. This process of restoring passion, purpose, and emotional connection should make your relationship strong with natural attraction. Work with determination to follow the five marriage saving methods by both of you accepting that the marriage needs to be fixed; determining the marriage problems together, getting sound advice, and romantically pursuing each other. Working together to accomplish these five methods should help both of you re-establish passion for each other.
If both of you face many obstacles along the way when you are trying to fix the relationship, then you can take a break from your marriage saving responsibilities to take a breather. However, no matter how difficult it may become to communicate with each other or to deal with outside pressures do not allow those thing to keep you from getting back together to work on the marriage. Also, do not allow them to distract both of you from achieving your goals. If you think that re-ordering these steps would work best for saving your marriage, then accomplish these steps in whichever order both of you decide to take. You can have many options in your marriage saving efforts. If both of you decide that surrendering the marriage is not an option, then you will come out the other side happier for all the effort.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6449607

How to Save Your Marriage and Live Without Regrets

Do you remember when you took your wedding vows and said I do? That should be your guide in everything that concerns your relationship with your spouse. Because there are things in life that you cannot control and you do not know if you will be confronted with the question do you want to know how to save your marriage? And if you reached that point in your married life, you have to brace yourself because like life, it is not easy.
It is a fact of life that some marriage works and sadly some do not. Reasons could vary from simple disagreement and incompatibility to complicated jealousy and unforeseen factors that may greatly affect the marriage. Trying to look for ways on how to save your marriage can be exhausting and a nightmare. You might not know who to turn to, what to sort out, and how you can connect with your spouse again so you can both save the marriage. But if your marriage is at the point where you will have to know how to save your marriage that is still a good sign. Why? Because you still want to work out things with your spouse. That means you still value what you have and not give up so easily. You do not easily give in to divorce, legal separation, or annulment of your marriage.
Accept that Life is Not Perfect and Nobody Is
One of the ways on how to save your marriage is to accept the fact that you did not marry a perfect person to live in a perfect life. You are not living in a fantasy world. Married life is not always about sparks and flowers. What drawn you to your partner in the first place? There must be something in there that person that is lovable for you to fall for that person and decided to spend the rest of your with. For sure, you will always find faults at each other and that is because nobody is perfect. If you are going to look for faults and imperfections, you will always find one.
How to save your marriage when your incompatibilities are getting in the way? The key is to focus on the good side of the person. It does not mean you will keep blind eyes for your spouse's faults. No. You simply are embracing each other's imperfection in order to save your marriage. Life is too short to concentrate on the bad side of things. You will know how to save your marriage when you realize that you are not perfect either so you must not expect your other half to be one.
Communication Bridge the Gap
One of the hardest things in life is when you have no one to share something with. If you two just share the house but not share a life, you have to start talking again. This answers the question how to save your marriage. The problem starts when one of you keep thoughts to yourselves and not open up. So what happens then when you have kept all your thoughts to yourself and like a bubble it will burst all at once? You have your partner in the first place to share your innermost thoughts, your days and nights, and your aspirations. You have a best friend at home that you can talk to if you are only willing to talk. You have to open up but you must also listen.
Remember that you are not alone in this marriage. You might have your thoughts but so does your spouse. How to save your marriage when you are deaf to your spouse's voice? Have you ever thought that maybe the problem started when you stopped communicating? Talks should be easy and never confrontational. Confront your fear of being misunderstood but the most important thing is you will open up to your spouse. If he/she will see that you are willing to listen to his/her thoughts and not just focus on yours, brick by brick you two are building the bridge on how to save your marriage.
Forgive Like You Would Want to Be Forgiven
There are actions that really could break the marriage especially when trust and heart is broken. How can you save your marriage if you have been unfaithful in thoughts and in deeds? You have to know that infidelity is the hardest one to forgive. And if you have been the unfaithful one, saying sorry is not enough. You have to put extra effort to let your spouse feel you learned from your mistake. Don't expect this to be easy because trust is something you have to gain and your spouse may have from time to time doubt you. You just have to try even harder to gain trust back.
Now if you are the one who have been cheated on, forgiveness is very essential if you want to know how to save your marriage. You may not forget it, which is understandable. But learning to forgive is the key to heal your wounds. It may be hard, but working on how to save your marriage after one of you cheated can be survived. It will even make your marriage stronger if both of you are willing to forgive each other and work for your marriage one step at a time. Spend some time again in the company of one once in a while. Rediscover the beauty of each other again. You will realize that the good times will always outweigh the bad ones. You will both see what you have been missing all this time and you will not have to look elsewhere to find that happiness that is already in your home.
Marriage Counselors for You
If both of you do not know how to save your marriage but are willing, seek for the professional guidance of marriage counselors. These professionals will help you solve underlying issues of your marital problems. You have to remember that how you can save your marriage will depend on both spouse's participation.
If you want to know how you can save your marriage you have to face the fact that it will take more effort and dedication. You have to accept each other's faults and imperfections in order to make it work out again. A good married life is not given in silver platter, you have to constantly bridge small gap and share lives through communication. You have to forgive each other when one is at fault and try to forget the past mistakes and move on to a better life. But if you cannot solve your marital problems but still want to know how to save your marriage, you can always seek the professional assistance of marriage counselors. Should your marriage fail or succeed when you did your best on how you can save your marriage, you will live your life without regrets.

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Fight to Save Your Marriage

There are alternatives for to chose if you are drained and would want to save your marriage, and one of those alternatives is forgiveness. Even if it will take two individual to make the marriage be successful, if your partner will agree to go therapy, it is brightly recommended. The solution to have an achievement with your counseling is for both of you to work thoroughly with a professional, someone who is licensed to do so, someone who believes in matrimony, and probably some years of experience with this scenarios.
Guidance, foundation, gives confidence and some fresh new ideas to breathe new life into an exhausted relationship will be offered by a good counselor. He or she may give you and your partner some remarkable means while taking an unbiased position in your therapy. Always keep in mind that when it comes to busted marriages and counseling, one size fits all can not be applied. In other words, each marriage should face their problems and may want to find some solution based on the couple.
Always bear in your mind that having someone after you that would offer some support is vital in healing what is broken. The method of repairing a broken marriage is time-consuming. Undoing the hurt that was done, reconstructing the trust, and learning to love once again will surely take some time but it is possible.
By having a coach or counselor on your part, somebody who is open, honest, and frank without taking sides is your best source. With this guiding you, you and your partner may have the capacity to stay all ears on the most crucial features of the marriage, which is working on the main concerns first and foremost.
Perceptibly, if your marriage has severe problems, it will surely consume more time fixing your marriage rather than minor problems which are easier to fix. Then, you have the circumstances of the constant problem whereby one partner will tend to have an affair, drinks, or even taking illegal drugs.
Sorry to say, it is tough and not always to nurse couples who have broken marriage by reason of constant issues, but you can always try. During the route of your therapy, you may have some times when the three of you will just simply sit down and try to work through things but other times, the session may arrive in the type of a phone call or a task that will be done between the husband and the wife.

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What Can You Do With a Broken Marriage?

Is your marriage broken? Do you still love each other, but you just aren't as comfortable together as you once were? Does it feel like your lives don't fit together any longer? Lots of couples start to feel this way as the years pass and things change. Instead of nurturing their relationship so that it grew and flourished over the decades, they were each too much involved in their own pursuits, making a living, and raising the children to work on strengthening their relationship. Now, all of a sudden, it seems like the marriage has fallen apart and there's no common ground any longer. So, is it possible to fix your marriage instead of opting for divorce?
The answer is "yes", most marriages can be fixed. You've neglected your relationship for years, so you can't expect to fix it in a day, but with commitment, time, and the right kind of guidance, you can repair your union and make it strong again. The right kind of guidance means a marriage coach, and you'll be able to find one conveniently online. A marriage coach is different from the standard marriage counselor that so many couples have worked with to no avail. A coach is a person who knows from experience that the techniques and strategies he can teach you really do work in putting a marriage back together.
Most marital problems aren't as severe as you might think. What happens is that a lot of little things build up and create negative feelings. Negative feelings can turn the entire relationship sour. Therefore, it makes sense that if someone can teach you how to turn those negatives back into positives, the problems will dissolve at the same time. If you're a skeptic and don't believe that it's possible to turn your marriage around in just 4 weeks, you can find free 30-minute consultations online so that the marriage coach can show you exactly what he can do for you.
If your marriage isn't all that it could be, you owe it to yourself to contact a marriage coach and find out what he can do to help you fix your marriage. No one promises perfection, but you'll find there are ways to regrow your relationship into one you'll both come to enjoy.

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5 Ways to Create a Strong and Loving Marriage Easily and Without Tears!

I have always said that organizing a wedding ceremony is the easy part as it only requires gathering people like you would for a dinner. The work really begins after the wedding because that is when the marriage begins!
Unfortunately, many people are not ready for that part - amazing but true. Somehow in the hustle, bustle and euphoria attached with planning their "perfect" wedding day, they forget about planning the "perfect" marriage completely!
A Strong marriage involves a lot of hard (but possible) work and this article aims to show you exactly what you need to achieve that. Read on...
1. Communication is Key
The most important aspect of any relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate with your partner, then you do not have a relationship. You must cultivate the ability to openly and honestly discuss issues with your spouse without any fear of how he / she may see you. Communication involves the ability to be a good listener. It is often said that the reason why humans have two ears and one mouth is so that we can listen more and speak less.
2. Mutual Respect Cannot Be Overemphasized
Respect is another quality which you require. You need to respect your wife / husband if you are to sustain your marriage. While he / she may not always make a choice you would have, you must respect whatever choices they make.
3. Love is a Must
Make it mandatory to show your partner how much you love him / her and endeavor to do so regularly. You can do this with words as well as action. Wake up early in the morning before your husband / wife and stick love notes all over the house so that when he / she wakes up love notes will be everywhere for him or her to find!
4. Friendship is Paramount
Make your spouse your best friend. There is something fantastic about being married to your friend! Understand this - while love and romance are great, they are not enough to sustain any relationship forever. If you seek the "happily ever after" kind of marriage, then being your husband's / wife's best friend is paramount.
5. Make Time for The "Little" Things
Many a marriage have been known to end in divorce because of little issues - not the big ones as you might think. Endeavor to help your spouse out whenever you can; this may be helping out when he is washing the car, or helping her out in the kitchen. Whatever the case may be you must understand that to create that strong and loving relationship you desire require little reminders that are thoughtful and caring.

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Does Love Lead to Marriage?

One of the biggest questions people have about love is whether or not love leads to marriage. For many people, marriage is the ultimate outcome of a life lived in love and represents the end of one road and the beginning of another.
For others, marriage is not a path they want to take. Regardless, there is no one answer to this question about love because everyone is bound to have a different love experience. There are factors that influence love, however, and there are visions of love that are healthy and those that are not.
The secret to a happy marriage is, of course, love. When people talk about having the ultimate happy marriage, they are talking about being around the one they love as much as possible. For many people, marriage in those terms is the absolute apex of a love life. For others, however, a happy marriage may be no marriage at all.
Some may find that spending their lives with one person is not satisfying in the least. They may wish for many more partners and many more experiences in order for their happiness to be realized. The question many people wonder about such lifestyles is about the role that love plays in their relationships.
There are many reasons besides love that people in today's world marry and there are many reasons that those marriages end. The basic component in all of those types of relationships is selfishness and the desire to meet personal needs first and those of a partner second. It is for this reason that broken relationships appear to be on the rise.
People are desiring more for themselves and less for others, leading to the inevitable deconstruction of relationship fundamentals such as trust and confidence.. With divorce and broken homes on the rise, an examination of what leads people to marry is probably in order.
The truth about love, is that there is no truth about love. There are only subjective ideas as to what marriage should be based on. In today's cynical world, the foundation for many a relationship is bent on reliance on the other person and not on selfless love. The notions of marriage and family therapy are on the rise because people, on the whole, seem to have forgotten about love.
The relationship goals and desires of today's modern person seem to rely more on the workings of social aspects external to the relationship and less on happiness within. People are concerned about what they look like, if their eyelashes are "plump" enough and if the person they are with is suitable in terms of looks. The world needs love, in large doses to overcome it's increasing cynicism.

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Sustaining Your First Love in Marriage

Sustaining first love in marriage is a great task that married couples must face for the success and happiness of their marriage. It is easily abandoned as a result of other marital pressures or challenges. First love in marriage, if sustained, is like oil that makes the marriage run smoothly. The relationship will be fresh every day. Couples will always enjoy their companionship when they sustain their first love for each other.
Many people wonder why marriages crash after the lavish of adoration, fondness, devotion and passion during courtship and honeymoon. The simple reason is that those fantasies which brought and held them together were not maintained or retained. It takes sheer determination to maintain them - determination that over-rides every contending factor which will want to puncture those fantasies. I call them fantasies because love, which embodies adoration, fondness, devotion and passion, is nothing but impression. Yes, impression in the mind that something is good for you and you desire it, and sometimes, get it.
Impression is sustained by memories. So, first love in marriage should be sustained by the fond memories of courtship and honeymoon days. Your marriage should be growing stronger in love instead of depreciating. After all, old wine tastes better, they say. The more you stay together, the more you understand yourselves. And you are expected to use the understanding to build a stronger and more affectionate relationship.
Here are some tips to help you recover and sustain your first love in marriage.
* Remember what you used to call your partner during the courtship or honeymoon. That pet name, return to it. Some abandon the pet name of their spouses immediately they get their first baby or as they grow older in the marriage. They allow either their baby's name or their spouse first name to take over the pet name.
* Remember also the passion that led to the adoption of the pet name in the first instance. Never allow monotony to set-in in your marriage. Relive that passion daily and your marriage will be fresh everyday.
* Stay as close as you used to be in the beginning. Desire the presence of each other all the time. Employment or any other activities should not put you apart.
* Make exchange of gifts a regular feature in your marriage. Keep dairies of important dates in your lives. Such dates as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, graduations, your first meeting etc should be celebrated yearly.
* Remember your first meeting from time to time and tell your partner how his or her entrance into your life has been a blessing.
* Learn to cuddle yourselves regularly.
* Make out time for holidays and sightseeing together.
* Relive your honeymoon by spending some holidays alone without the children.

Go to [http://www.marriedcouplesmatters.com]for more helpful tips.

Love And Marriage - Work On Love To Revitalise Your Marriage

There are many different kinds of love. The love of a mother for her baby, the love of a friend, the love of family, the love of a pet, the love of nature, but the most unique of all relates to love and marriage. Work on love to revitalise your marriage.
Love in marriage is the ultimate emotional union between two human beings. There are different levels of emotional union and all are important, but marriage is special because it is where two people share everything, physically, emotionally and spiritually. In marriage a couple bond together as one. They are soul mates. A soul mates mate is a person with whom you have a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, sex, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and compatibility. The strongest romantic bond that you can achieve with another person is to become soul mates. A soul mate is a romantic partner, with the implication of an exclusive lifelong bond.
Marriage is the highest form of love where two soul mates fuse together to become one and return to the ultimate being. Both partners in a marriage bring different things to the relationship. They may have similar or complementary outlooks on life. Two different people bringing different things to the marriage is what makes the relationship exciting and dynamic. Marriage is a didactic relationship where two people in love achieve more together than if the two were working independently.
Marriage is the sacred union of mind, body and soul. Nakedness in a marriage is a symbol of that union because there is nothing to hide. This total union of mind, body and soul does not happen overnight. Love and marriage is the key to a happier life. However even if it is love at first sight you need to keep working on the union. Work on love to revitalise your marriage.
The total union of two souls takes time. Build it up in stages, and enjoy each stage. There will be set backs from time to time but the set backs don't matter - it matters only about how you address those set backs. Have an action plan to work on problems together, but interestingly, problem solving is not the key to a happy, successful marriage. Love is.
Like Adam and Eve, temptation occurs when you think that the grass is greener on the other side of the mountain. But it is not. You may never reach the mountain top again so work on staying at the top rather than sliding haphazardly down the other side. It takes time and effort to get to the top of the mountain so it is advisable to enjoy it once you get there.
Share interests and do exciting things together in the marriage. Occasionally one of you may need to compromise, but the time invested will be well worth it. But also have some time out, some personal space to do your own thing. That way you will not get claustrophobic and will enjoy each other even more.
So why does a marriage fail? Why does that exclusive lifelong bond break? You have been seeking one another throughout the ages. Despite having bonded as soul mates, you are now considering separation. Does karma play a role? Or is the answer simpler than that?
In order for soul mates to find each other there has to be attraction to draw them together. And what sparks attraction for a woman to a man? - Leadership. And what sparks attraction for a man to woman? - Fertility.
The law of attraction dates back to of Adam and Eve. The evolutionary theory of attraction indicates that the main attraction of a man to a woman is due to fertility and that the main attraction of a woman to a man is due to his qualities to provide and protect. A conjugal/romantic relationship has the main purpose of procreation to continue the human species. These actions are controlled by the subconscious mind because that is how we are biologically programmed.
It goes back to the caveman days and involves the hunter instinct. The hunter approach is very powerful in males when they initially find a new girlfriend. They show off their leadership skills - they ask you out; they pay for the meal; they open the door; they ask you to marry them. And women because of their biological instincts are subconsciously attracted to this behaviour - they fall deeply in love with this potential mate; this provider; this potential father of her children.
It goes without saying therefore, that when a marriage fails that the attraction has died. The bond of attraction which held the union together has failed. The secret to saving a marriage lies in rebuilding that attraction. And how do you do that?
The answer lies in leadership. You need to work on the male leadership skills in order to rekindle the hunter instinct in him so that he becomes that amazing, compelling, dynamic, charismatic leader which first attracted the female soul mate. And let her biology look after of the rest. Your sex drive will be reactivated. You will fall wildly madly in love again. Love and marriage is the key to a happier married life. Work on it together and your marriage will be revitalised.

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Do Love and Marriage Go Together?

What do you think love and marriage go together? Yes it works for some but for many it doesn't work, but let us find out what is the reason behind this. Why their love declines after they get married?
At the beginning when one starts loving his/her partner they feel very happy and they believe that their relationship is just like a fairy tale. To fall in love with somebody is very easy but to keep it alive after their marriage is quite hard. While they are in love, they enjoy their time and believe that they are out of this world. But in most of the cases the love life never lasts when they get married. The reason is that the couple thinks that if they get married then their problems will be solved but they are absolutely wrong as the problem may get more worsen also. So, before you both decide to get married, everything should be cleared and rectified so that you both can have a better married life.
The beginning of every relationship is enjoyable and pleasing because at that time they both try to keep each other happy by fulfilling their requirements, by sharing their loneliness and of course sharing their innermost feelings. To maintain this flame you have to remember, no one else can bring you that happiness and can't fulfill your needs like your partner does. It is very important that you should always respect, love, and give value yourself or else soon you will find that your partner is slowly drifting away from you. For instance, if you often hide your feelings, don't try to take up the responsibility of your partner and also blame them even if they are not at fault, then you will notice that your partner will start ignoring you. These are the early signs which you can not afford to overlook. Most couples try to please their partners in the beginning of the relationship by their good behavior. But if you don't take the responsibilities of your partner then neither you will be respected by your partner nor your relationship will last. So, to maintain the relationship throughout your life, it is very essential to look after your partner and you should equally share the happiness, joy and pain with them. Love and marriage does work if you start taking up the responsibilities by your own.
So, now you know that how to keep your partner happy before and after marriage. So, it is certain that love and marriage go together and you can make your married life even more happy by taking up the responsibilities of your partner's pain and joy.

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Sex Tips for Looking Good in Bed

Physical appearance is an important factor in appeal to a partner, and looking good can also simply boost a man's self-esteem and self-confidence. So it's no wonder that many sex tips experts advise men to focus on appearance. That doesn't mean, of course, that other important issues, like penis health, should be ignored. But taking the time to think about looking good in bed can make a difference to a man's success and satisfaction rates.
Not all about abs
Pop culture today places a tremendous (and often unrealistic) emphasis on physical perfection. Websites and movies display men with the kind of perfectly chiseled bodies that most cannot hope to attain. But looking good in bed isn't necessarily about having the perfect body. It's about doing the best with what a guy has.
Sure, a man who spends hours a day at the gym should take advantage of that fact. But men who have a more typical body shouldn't be discouraged by the lack of a washboard. Here are some simple steps a guy can take to improve his appearance in bed.
- Keep clean. One of the most basic sex tips: "doing the dirty" is a saying - in actual sex, dirt has no place. Be sure to shower and clean regularly and especially before a date. And the same goes for the keeping the bedclothes clean. Even the sexiest man doesn't look so appealing if his sheets are covered with sweat and grime.
- Choose underwear carefully. On one level, this is about boxers or briefs (or boxer briefs or thongs or jocks or... ). Some men look best in one or the other, and knowing what is truly flattering is important. In general, guys with a spare tire don't rock the tight briefs so well - but there are exceptions. Spend time with a mirror (or with an unbiased friend who tells it straight) to see what works best.
But also take into consideration color, cut, patterns and other options that can make a difference. Whatever decisions a guy makes, he needs to be sure the underwear he chooses is very clean and in good shape - not tattered, frayed or filled with holes.
- Keep moist. Although guys tend to focus their thoughts of sex on the mid-section, intercourse is a whole body thing. No woman wants a man's body to be covered with dry, patchy or scaly skin. That can be a huge turn-off. Plus, if a woman notices that the skin of a man's shoulder or back is flaky, she may worry about what his penis skin is like as well.
- Exercise. Exercising in general as a way to maintain a healthy weight is a good idea, but a little pre-sex exercise can also benefit a guy. Physical exertion tends to release pheromones which can add to a man's sex appeal.
- Keep the package neat. While total body appearance is important, a guy needs to also pay special attention to the appearance of his proud manhood. Men should determine whether their penis is more attractive when surrounded by a wild mane of hair, a neatly-trimmed thatch or de-nuded of hair altogether. (Those with steady partners should get their opinion on this question, of course.) Keeping the penis clean and the skin moist is also very important.
While sex tips on looking good in bed do take into account matters beyond penis health, it's essential that this vital area not be ignored. Fortunately, simply applying a superior penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin) on a regular basis can go a long way to maintaining proper penis health. Since a well-hydrated penis improves appearance, using a crème that includes potent moisturizing agents like vitamin E and natural Shea butter is a no-brainer. Men should be sure the crème also includes vitamin D, acclaimed as a "miracle vitamin" due to its effectiveness in fighting disease and supporting healthy cellular function. With a little effort, a good looking penis can become an asset for any man.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9583368

Are Love and Marriage Compatible?

Marriage and love can be compatible, and although many find the two do not work, it does happen to some of the luckier couples. However, having said this, there are reasons that trigger off the decline in a married couple and if they are not dealt with soon, then love will not reside in the married couple's house.
When you first fall in love and find that the person you have found is really special and finally decide to get married, the atmosphere is fairy like, with nothing to distort the loving sensations. This is the easy part to a relationship, for once you get married things start to change and most couples find that their love does not last once they are married for a few years.
Unfortunately, sometimes couples actually get married to solve problems they already have in their relationship, which makes issues worse. If you do get married all problems should be settled before you engage your life to one another.
At the beginning all relationships are care-free and happy, this is because both of you are working to make the other person happy, and are willing to share all kind of emotions with each other, in other words you are completely dedicated to the other person.
In order to preserve this state of mind, it is important to keep in mind that only your partner can provide that special happiness that will fulfill your needs, and that you should always show your love and respect, otherwise your partner will start drifting away as she or he will start feeling neglected.
Try to avoid hiding your feelings and do not take the responsibilities your partner needs to take alone and do not try and find fault with everything he or she does. Each one of us is different and we have to concede when issues are not that important.
When you start blaming someone continually they will start neglecting you, and these are the first signs of fading love and must not be neglected if you want your love to keep going. Most of us try and impress the ones we love by giving them our full attention at the beginning of the relationship. This should be a constant and attention should be given throughout a relationship if you want to keep it alive. Keep caring and looking after your partner, by sharing both joy and sorrow. You can make your marriage work if you keep close together during all the moments in married life.
A marriage can work if you learn to respect and accept the others weaknesses, while making sure you appreciate their good points. Make sure you always talk about what is on your mind and do not let issues linger on for too long. This will only make you feel further apart and can only be damaging for your relationship.

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5 Ways to Cope With a Sexless Marriage

What is a sexless marriage? It is a marriage with little or no sexual activities. Experts describe that couples who are having sex 10 times or less in a year is considered living in a sexless marriage. Although it is best for couples to keep a healthy and active sex life, it is not uncommon for couples to live in marriage without sex. Can couples cope with a sexless marriage?
There are many reasons why a marriage becomes sexless. It can be caused by medical issues, couples became too busy with their careers and jobs, having children, exhaustion, lack of sex drive or desire, etc. If you decided to stay in a sexless marriage, no matter what the cause of the lack of sex in your marriage, coping with a sexless relationship needs some work.
Choosing to stay in a sexless marriage is a personal choice but it is worth saving your marriage. Can this kind of marriage work? It don't work in every marriage but to others, yes, a sexless marriage works. There are couples who are in a sexless marriage for years and yet living a happy, meaningful married life because they've learned to cope with a sexless marriage.
Here are some helpful ways to cope with a sexless marriage.
Do not blame yourself or your spouse. The lack of sex in your marriage doesn't mean you are no longer desirable or attractive. There are many reasons behind a sexless marriage and it is an issue that both you and your spouse are involved so it is not entirely your fault. Do not blame your spouse either because blaming is not the solution to this issue but it will just aggravate the situation. You and your partner are in this together so it is best to face this issue together to find the best solution. It is less challenging to cope with a sexless marriage if you will stop blaming each other.
Have an agreement or compromise. It is important for both partners to talk about the lack of sex in their marriage. It is best if you both agree and decided to live a meaningful and happy married life despite the lack of sex in your relationship. It is not easy, as you both may encounter trials and challenges while trying to cope with a sexless marriage but what is important is that you communicate about it and be able to find the middle ground, compromise and come out with an agreement. You both have to work hard together than other couples to be able to cope with a sexless marriage.
Explore other ways to stay emotionally and physically connected. Understand that emotional intimacy in a marriage cannot be attained through sexual intercourse only. Although it may be true that sex is one of the best ways for couples to connect emotionally, the lack of sex doesn't mean your marriage is doomed. There are other ways for spouses to stay emotionally connected. Lack of sex is not uncommon in a marriage and there are celibate couples who lead a meaningful and happy married life. Stay emotionally and physically connected with each other. Emotional intimacy is not only about sexual intimacy but it is more about matters of the heart. Emotional connection with each other doesn't always involve your genitals. Explore other ways to stay connected with each other. Emotional connection can be made by making time for each other, communicating regularly, listening to each other, opening up with each other, doing things together, playing together, creating new hobbies or memories together, taking a vacation or couples retreat together. Explore other ways to stay physically intimate with each other. Hugging each other more, kissing regularly or massaging your spouse are some ways to stay physically connected with each other.
Work on the issues behind your sexless marriage. There's nothing much you can do if the reason behind your sexless marriage is a medical issue but to accept the reality and try your best to cope with a sexless marriage. If the reason for the lack of sex in your marriage is something else, it is best to work on the issues together. If it's not a medical issue, what's causing your lack of sex drive? Is the lack of physical intimacy a result of unresolved marital issues? Is your careers or individual issues causing you to drift apart? Sometimes the lack of sex is not the problem but it is the result of other issues in your marriage. While you may both consider that it is okay not to have frequent sex with each other, still it is best to work on the underlying issues to make sure that your marriage is okay and there are no unresolved issues. If you need help to resolve the issues causing your sexless marriage, do not hesitate to seek help. It is best to exhaust all possible solutions to save your marriage.
Focus on the wonderful things your marriage have and not what's lacking in your marriage. It can be more challenging and frustrating to cope with a sexless marriage if you will keep thinking about what is lacking in your marriage so stop being negative and start focusing on the positive side of your marriage. Sex maybe one important part of a marriage but there are other things in your marriage that you should be grateful and those things may serve as reasons why you should continue loving and respecting your spouse. Is the lack of sex in your marriage enough reason to leave your marriage? I hope not, because true love must be beyond sex.
Dealing with issues in your marriage is not easy but it is always worth saving your marriage. Visit Saving a Troubled Relationship.

The Reality of Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries. Authors across the ages have explored this theme at length, and it still surfaces in literary works today. What's the appeal? Is it the fascination with the lack of lust and desire we cultivate in North American society? We strive on the element of danger, of the forbidden, while an arranged marriage is usually a safe way to ensure a family's approval of a union.
And yet, many of today's romance novels deal with marriages of convenience. We've all read them: the heroine marries the hero because she needs him, whether for financial reasons, or because her children need a father -- there are as many reasons to marry as there are novels dealing with this subject. Yet although the marriage isn't initially based on love, there's always that sensual tension simmering beneath the surface, and as readers, we know it's inevitable that the two are going to fall deeply and irrevocably in love.
But what about real life, where things don't always work out so well? Arranged marriages are commonplace in a number of countries, such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India. They're more common than you'd think even in North America, where cultural diversity is cherished and encouraged.
Young people in countries where arranged marriages are commonplace are told from an early age that their spouse will be chosen for them. To deny an arranged marriage is seen as a sign of disrespect toward the family. But how are suitable spouses chosen? In Japan, for instance, "when a woman reaches the marriageable age of 25, she and her parents compile a packet of information about her, including a photograph of her in a kimono and descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments and interests. Her parents then inquire among their friends and acquaintances to see if anyone knows a man who would be a suitable husband for her" (the Asia Society's Video Letter from Japan: My Family, 1988). Usually, the most important aspect of choosing a suitable spouse is the bond between the two families, rather than the relationship between the couple being married. Property or land with the aim of securing social status sometimes seals marriage agreements.
Do arranged marriages work? Opinions tend to differ. Statistics place the divorce rate for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love are the rule. However, research also shows that the pressure a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an option.
Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Absolutely, and in the same way that love can grow in romance novels from a marriage of convenience. But there's more to love than finding a suitable match. Love can grow for many reasons, from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over a long period of time. It's impossible to predict whether a union will be successful. The only two people who can make it work are the bride and groom, the hero and heroine of their own story.

Lacey Savage is the author of a number of sensual romance short stories, novels and novellas. Her articles and works of fiction often focus on women's issues and relationships. Find out more about Lacey at [http://www.laceysavage.com]

Love, Marriage and Kids - How to Make it Work

Let's be honest. The relationship we have with our spouse is different than before we had children. Our time and energy is split, we have more responsibilities, and being intimate can sometimes feel like just another chore on the "To do list".
Although it is true that our relationship is different, this doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to make it better; to work on our intimacy and make time to enjoy each other's company, like we used to... without the kids.
The relationship between parents is the number one relationship that determines how children will experience their own relationships in the future, with co-workers, friends and spouses. Children look to their parents to see how people communicate with each other, how they show and accept love and how they resolve problems. For this reason, marriage must be made a priority. We must nurture it and learn ways to improve it.
How do we do this?
There are a few areas to look at:
How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel like you are healthy and in relatively good shape? Do you dress as you used to or are you feeling a bit frumpy lately?
Taking care of ourselves is often the most effective way to give us energy, make us feel sexy again and feel like we want to work on our marriage.
Do you schedule in regular date nights with your spouse, either inside or outside the home? Enjoying each other's company is so important. Remember what you loved doing together and schedule it! Book the restaurant, find the hiking trail, play scrabble, cook a meal together, go for coffee and a dessert or just go for a walk and talk. Whatever it is be sure to schedule at least one date night per month.
Communication. Nothing breeds anger and resentment more than silence. It's very important to constantly talk; talk about parenting issues, household issues, feelings, etc. An extremely useful resource is the book called, "The Five Love Languages" This is the best book my husband and I have found to help us figure out how each of us likes to be loved. It is, in my opinion, a must read for all couples.
Although life is busier with children, we must always remember that parents are the core of a family. Nurture your relationship well and give it the attention and focus it deserves. You and your children will be happier if you do.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4160047

Arranged Marriages of India

India is a multi-cultural country with various religions and communities, all living together in harmony, following their own customs and beliefs. These customs vary from region to region. But the tradition of arranged marriages is prevalent in India among all religions.
The parents or other elders take the responsibility of finding a suitable partner for their daughter or son. Earlier days, it was done with the help of a mediator, who would have the details and photographs of the eligible boys and girls in the neighborhood. Those days the boys and girls were not even given the opportunity to choose their life partner. The parents decide what they think is best for the children and they obey, and still they lived happily and were devoted to each other.
But now things are very different. Over the years, the parents took the help of newspaper in place of a mediator, for seeking a prospective bride or groom for their child. Though the marriages are often arranged by the parents the children have their say in choosing their life partner. If they don't like the selected girl or boy, most of the parents do not go forward with the proposal, and wait until they find a suitable one.
With the advent of information technology, choosing one's life partner has become very easy and convenient. Many online matrimonial sites are available who helps them to find their soul mate. Shaadi.com, jeevansathi.com, bharatmatrimony.com, m4marry.com etc are to name a few. The parents can register and show case their eligible daughter's or son's details, along with their photograph, so that they can find the best match for their offspring, from any part of the world. The details for registration include horoscope, education, employment, family background and compatibility, and the type of girl or boy they are expecting etc.
Among Hindus, horoscope matching is another integral part of an arranged marriage. Indians believe that Astrology matches the compatibility between the couples for a happy and long life. The date of birth, star, time of birth, and place of birth are mainly taken into account in analyzing horoscope match making. Most of the parents still believe in horoscope matching and try to find a groom or bride, with matching horoscope for their child. Many of these online sites also help them by offering the facility for horoscope matching.
Today more marriages are arranged by the parents, taking their children's interest into consideration, and with their approval. It can be the other way also. The children find their partners keeping their parents interest in mind, which usually get their parents concern and support, for their marriage.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2053676

My Husband Makes No Attempt To Understand My Feelings

The vast majority of people that I hear from do not feel understood or heard by their spouse. I find that many folks do not comprehend just how serious of a problem this might be. Sure, no one is perfect at communicating or at reading someone else's clues. And sure, all marriages can withstand a few misunderstandings. But if you go through your life, and through your marriage, for any significant period of time feeling constantly misunderstood, this can't help but have a huge impact on your marriage and how you feel about it. This can be true even if your spouse is sincerely trying to understand, but just can't. But it's even more true if your spouse appears to be making no effort whatsoever to try to understood you. It can make you question if he thinks that you are not important enough or not even worth the effort.
For example, I wife might think: "why doesn't my husband even make the slightest effort to understand me anymore? When we were dating, it was like he was fascinated at what made me tick and what contributed to my happiness. But today, he acts as if I am overly complicated rather than unique and fascinating. I am trying to make some positive changes in my life. And my husband is totally resistant to this because all he can see if that the changes might be putting him out or inconveniencing him some. But what he doesn't seem to get, or remotely care about, is that the changes are important to me. He doesn't understand that I need to tweak some things in my life in order to be authentically happy. But he doesn't take the time to try to analyze my thinking or ask himself what I need in my life. He acts as if I'm only trying to inconvenience him instead. So I've tried to explain myself, but I'll find myself passionately talking about something and I will look over, only to find that my husband is giving me a blank stare. His eyes are sort of glazed over and he is almost slumped down, as if even listening to me is a heavy task for him. It's so discouraging. It makes me think that he doesn't care about me at all. Am I wrong in thinking this? Why else would a husband not even make the slightest effort to understand his wife?"
You're right to be concerned. When you start to see this type of apathy and indifference toward you (or toward what is important to you) it can be sort of warning sign. Not always, of course. But sometimes, it is. That's why you can't ever be too careful. I can think of a few reasons that you might be seeing this behavior. I'll list some of it below. And I'll start with the most benign and then work my way up down to the most troublesome.
You've Caught Him At A Bad Time Or On An Occasion Where He's Preoccupied With His Own Issues: Sometimes, we just catch our spouse's at an inopportune time. We all have times in our lives where it's just not feasible to give someone our undivided attention. How do you know if this is the case? Well, you can ask yourself if this is an isolated incident or if you've noticed him tuning you out or not treating you with importance more than this one time lately.
He Doesn't Really Understand Your Thought Process, So He's Just Trying To Appear As Attentive As He Can: This one is actually pretty common, especially when we are talking about emotions that are not as natural to men. When we start to discuss deep or emotional thinking, men do tend to tune out a bit, because this is just not how their own brains work. They can't relate and so they might be staring at you (or looking at you when you're having a conversation,) but their wheels aren't necessarily turning. It's the same with me when my spouse tries to discuss sports. I try. I really do. I even enjoy some sports. But I don't have the depth of understanding that my husband does, so I try to nod in the right places, but I'm sure my face looks kind of blank. The thing is, I don't think my husband cares too deeply because, although he love sports, they aren't vitally important to him - in the way that your authenticity is to you. And, the more important something is to you, the more you want your spouse to "hear" you and to "understand" you. So this was a topic that was already charged for you, but your husband may not have realized it at the time.
He May Be Acting Indifferent To You Because He Is Starting To Lose Connectedness To And Empathy Toward You, Which Is A Warning Sign: OK, I'm only mentioning this because I wish someone had given me the "heads-up" when I was going through something similar. If they had, perhaps I would not have ended up separated. By no means am I saying or suggesting that this is the case with you. I can't possibly know that. I'm just saying that it's never a bad idea to take an honest look at your marriage and evaluate this. Because when couples are deeply connected, they at least try to make an effort to understand one another, especially about things that matter in the way that this matters to you. Granted, I glaze over when my husband talks about sports sometimes. But if his voice talks about something that I know to be quite important to him, I sit up and take notice.

It wasn't always this way, though.  When our marriage was struggling, we were both guilty of not trying hard enough to empathize, to hear, and to understand.  And this is the natural by-product of a marriage that has lost connectedness and empathy. We had lost so much of this that we eventually separated.  I did get him back, but it was a painful process that I would have preferred to avoid.  And it took me way too long to stumble onto a strategy that actually worked. You can read more on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com   But you certainly want to avoid my mistakes if you can.

Dealing With A Difficult Husband Who No Longer Loves You

Living with a difficult husband who wants out of the marriage is like living in hell. The eggshells you have to walk on and the tension is so thick it keeps you confined like you are in a box. I know it's difficult and yet for some reason you are still together.
Your marriage was not meant to be this way. Unfortunately it's more common now than ever before. Sometimes the more you try to deal with a difficult husband the more difficult he becomes.
You try to be nice and he takes advantage of your niceness. You act irritated and angry and he is twice as mean and spiteful. Something has to give or your marriage will get more difficult, if that's possible.
It's normal for couples to drift apart. What's not normal is how they drift apart. I don't like it when couples divorce. I'm the product of divorced parents and all I can say is I think it's much better to grow up with both parents involved in your life.
If your husband is being difficult and he has said he no longer loves you that might be true or it could be him trying to put space between you. Either way I know your heart is broken. I hope today is the day that your relationship begins to get better. Yes, all it takes is one word or action to change your husband's heart and mind towards you and your marriage. Until that happens, please don't give up.
One thing I would recommend when dealing with your husband is to do the unexpected and do what seems unnatural. For example;

1. If you normally make negative or sarcastic comments to him refrain from doing so. If you don't have anything nice or positive to say don't say anything at all.
2. Perhaps you have continued to cater to his every wish, despite how he has treated you. Try letting him do for his self on occasion so he sees how it is fending for himself. Just the little things that you go out of your way for him.
3. Spend some quality time doing some fun things without him and be joyous. Your husband shouldn't be the giver and taker of your joy. Your life involves your husband but shouldn't revolve around your husband.

You might feel as though your marriage is over and so might your husband. Only time will tell. However, while you are still together you need to give it your all to make it work. Regardless of how bad your marriage problems are you can overcome them.
Marriage infidelity is difficult but can be overcome by love and forgiveness. Absenteeism is just an opportunity to get re-acquainted to forgive the past and move forward loving and caring for each other.
The key to dealing with a difficult husband and marital situation is to say and do the right things, at the right time in the right manner. Your words do matter. Your actions, interactions and re-actions can determine what ultimately happens in your marriage.
Aren't you tired of fighting over meaningless non-sense? What you are fighting about or feeling angry or tense about most likely is not the real culprit. Until you figure out what the root cause of your marital issues are you will struggle to overcome them.
For example, are you angry about your husband working too many hours or is it that you don't see the fruits of his extra labor? Perhaps it's not his hours but what you suspect that he is doing? Do you think your husband is cheating on you?
You see, if you are not being honest with each other, how will you ever solve the problem?
I'm convinced with a little help you can turn your marriage around. I hope with all of my heart that your pain is a little less each day and is replaced by joy. You might just find out that your marriage is not destined for an ugly divorce. If that happens you and I will be rejoicing.

Dealing with a difficult husband who no longer loves you is hard and I don't pretend otherwise. However, despite how it seems he does have a heart. It just needs a jump start to get it beating for you again. If you would like more tips on getting your marriage back on track, please see here; Help In Marriage

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9590346

How to Heal From a Husband's Betrayal

The list of the negative fall out from an affair is long.  In addition to the hurt, shock, and lessening of self esteem, the feeling of being betrayed by the person who you should be able to trust most in the world can be the hardest blow.  Working through an affair usually encompasses many difficult steps, but healing from a husband's betrayal is often the most difficult.  Notice I said difficult. I did not say impossible.  In no way am I defending your husband or attempting to diminish the betrayal, but I can tell you with a great degree of certainty that I've seen countless women who have healed.  And, I've seen countless marriages not only survive and rebound, but also emerge stronger. So, I know that it can be done.  But, I'll be honest.  It takes a lot of hard work, faith, and a willingness on both parties to step outside of their comfort zone to do what needs to be done.  I'll tell you how to start in the following article.
Your Healing Can't Begin Until You've Expressed And Released Your Feelings (And Then Felt Heard):  When women tell me that they're stuck or can't seem to move on, I always first take a look at what they're holding in.  Repressed feelings will almost always hold you back. And, many women don't allow themselves to admit their true feelings even to themselves.  Anger, hurt, and betrayal are not pleasant emotions to experience.  So, it's perfectly natural to want to close them off, diminish your contact with these feelings, and move on as quickly as you can.
The problem with this though is that if you don't admit, verbalize, release, and then move through these feelings, they are always going to continue to turn up.  You can't begin to feel better until you deal with them.  They will come out and reveal themselves through negative feelings like self doubt, resentment, anger, and an unwillingness to move forward.
So, not matter how difficult it may feel, you need to admit to yourself and to your husband exactly what you are feeling even if it feels ugly and very unpleasant.  You are entitled to these feelings and they are perfectly normal.  Now, that doesn't mean that you have to repeatedly spew punishing rants over and over again.  Not at all.  But, you do need to be honest.  You do need to let him know just how much this has hurt, just how much you are struggling, and just what you need to move forward.
And, once this is done, you need to know that he has heard you, has understood, and has taken the words to heart so that he isn't tempted to repeat this behavior ever again.
You Must Know That It Wasn't Your Fault:  Another thing that really keeps women from healing is that somewhere deep down, they suspect that the affair was in some way their fault.  They think things like "well, I should've paid attention to the signs that were right in front of me," or "I should've given him more attention," or "how was I so stupid?"  These feelings are also natural, but they in no way help you.  When you feel this negative self talk starting, it's important to stop yourself and reroute where you are going.
In truth, affairs have more to do with your husband's shortcomings than yours.  Men have affairs to feel better about themselves.  It is a way to soothe their self esteem, make them feel young, vibrant and interesting again, and an attempt to fix what is broken with them - not with you or with your marriage.  Statistically speaking, men admit to greatly regretting their affair over 90 percent of the time, so know that in all likelihood, once your husband has some distance behind this, he will see this as his own regrettable mistake.
So, there's no need to take his mistake onto your own shoulders.  Yes, there may have been places where you left your marriage vulnerable.  Yes, you maybe could have paid more attention.  But, you are not the one who made the decision to cheat - he was.  Understand this and leave the issue behind so that you can move forward.
Know What You Need And Ask For It:  To really heal, you'll need to identify what you need.  Some women want a lot of time with their husbands.  They need reassurance, accountability, and a lot of communication.  Others will need a cool off period to process this.  But, almost every one will need for their husband to accountable and transparent.  Many will want to know where he is and what he is doing.  Many will not want him to participate in behaviors like going out with questionable friends or taking over night business trips.  Whatever things are no longer acceptable to you will need to be eliminated.  Your husband unfortunately can't read your mind, so you'll need to speak up and ask for these things.
Finally, it's often necessary to work on your self esteem and yourself outside of the marriage.  You need to build yourself up so that you know that you are good enough and are not at fault.  When you are able to do this, you'll begin to believe that, once you've both done the necessary work and improved your marriage, your husband can still love you, can still be trustworthy, and can still be an important part of your life and your family, despite one fleeting mistake.

I know that working through this and healing is difficult, but it can truly be worth it. Although I never would've believed this two years ago, I did eventually truly get over the affair. My marriage is stronger than ever. It took a lot of work, and I had to play the game to win, but it was worth it. Our bond and intimacy is much stronger and because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is at an all time high. I know longer worry my husband will cheat again. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/