Marriage Relationships - 3 Marriage Relationships Tips To Keep Relationships and Marriage Love-Fille

Marriage relationships can be the most fulfilling life experience you will ever have -- or the worst! You are clearly wise enough to value your relationships and marriage, and to want to make them as special as can be. So what can you do to make your marriage relationships blissful and harmonious, loving, passionate and romantic? Here are 3 tips to keep the sparkle in your relationships and marriage....
1. Relationships as a work of art
What makes a painting valuable? Usually it's the rarity of the painting (there's only one), and the mastery of the artist. Your marriage relationships are just as rare. Nobody can duplicate exactly your marriage or love relationship. It's unique. And that makes it special. If you add to that the attention and care that you choose to give your partnership, you can see how valuable it really is. Start to appreciate your relationships and marriage more. Reframe the way you look at it. Take time to enjoy it. Luxuriate in what is wonderful about it and be sure to express lots of appreciation to your partner for every little thing. And appreciate yourself too -- you created this -- and you will make it even better!
2. Marriage as a pathway to self development
Marriage knocks the sharp edges off you and rounds you out as an individual. In the best marriage relationships, both partners strive hard to keep on improving and growing. That way they remain attractive and interesting to one another. Don't settle into a relationship. Life is an adventure in growth and development. Always strive to improve. Look for ways to be more loving. Exercise your creativity to surprise and delight your partner -- we all want to have fun, especially us gals!
3. Marriage relationships as a focus for love
When you and I eventually leave this mortal coil, it will be the relationships we formed and the love that we gave and received that will be most meaningful for us. Make LOVE your focus in life and your life will be so very rich. Let your marriage relationships be your major life project, your purpose if you will. Learn to give more and to put more love into your relationships and marriage. See just how far you can go and keep pushing back the borders of your love. What a truly wonderful life you will create. As you focus love in on your primary love relationship, and it flourishes under your touch, you will soon find yourself pouring love into all your relationships with family, friends and the world. Such actions make this world a better place.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/500198

Marriages: Love/Arrange or Convenient?

Marriages... It's a big deal, isn't it?
Some of them fall in love and marry each other, for some, their parents arrange it and finally most of them get married!
Once, I was on a vacation with my husband, his friends and their wives. Among them some had love marriage and some were arranged. All the wives were chit chatting when the topic of marriage came up. Everyone started discussing about their early experiences of marriage when one of the girls told me that she didn't knew about me marrying the person whom I loved. When the other girl very promptly said she wouldn't consider my marriage as Love rather it was very convenient! I was taken a back in-fact I was shocked to hear it because I was always very proud of finding the love of my life and taking my life vows with him together. Being a very typical liberal thought girl I was offended by her comment. But since, I had met her for the first time and her husband was a friend of my husband I chose to keep quiet rather than demanding her an explanation.
Her words kept swirling in my head and made me thought "What is Love Marriage or even what is arrange marriage?"
She was right, after thinking over for days I concluded all the marriages are convenient, isn't it? No genuine person ends up marring someone whom he/she believes will be difficult to live with.
I had a boyfriend when I was in college, I was madly in love with him or as far as I think I was madly in love with him! I passed out of the college, I got a good job with a good salary but he didn't. We continued our relationship but gradually I was drifting away from the idea of marring him. I was not doing this consciously but somewhere in my complicated brains every behavior of his was making me realize that he is not the person with whom I should be spending the rest of my life. Yes and I am not ashamed of admitting that it was his monetary status.I knew if I marry him; firstly my parents will disapprove of him and if I go against them and marry him, I will be losing my parents and later we would end up worrying and who knows fighting for little choices to make in life.
I do not think marriages are only surrounded with money matters, it is absolutely not but yes, it is a very important factor. My ex-boyfriend will definitely find a girl to marry him, it is not that just because he was not monetary stable for me he isn't monetary stable for anyone, of course he is. For a person who feels his earnings together with hers would be more than enough to live happily he is more than suitable for her. Money is a very complicated factor, an amount can be more than enough for some one and the same amount could be very less for the other. The measurement is very complex and why not, money and time are beyond explanation!
This is something about Love marriages when thinking over arrange marriage I thought, it isn't very different. The decision I took is generally taken by the parents first and then given the option to the girl to think on it.
It is not only for the girls the condition of the boys are also the same; though the priority of factors differ. For example, a boy wants his parents to like his girl and his parents will like her on the basis of her values, her culture, her sensibility, her respect for others and so on. These factors are equally important for a girl's parent for her guy as well but as I said the priority may differ. The guy takes all the possible measures to make his girl liked by his parents. Taking a very simple example, if a girl has a visible tattoo and the boy's parents are orthodox then I am pretty sure he would be scared of the tattoo.
Guys have a tendency to live very much in the present where in opposite girls do think ahead of their future while living in present. When a guy is dating a girl he is never sure if he will be marrying her and when the time comes to take the decision then he starts considering the factors and decides if she is suitable for marriage or not. Isn't this convenient?
Arrange marriage is not very different from Love marriages. In arrange marriages the parents at the very first step scrutinize the possible matches on their priority basis for their child. So, the child is spared with all the heartbreaks and the pain of finding the ideal person. Once, the parents find few matches suitable, the child gets the opportunity to decide whom to spend the life with. Mostly the opinion of the child is taken into consideration for marriage. The same consideration which in love marriage is from the beginning and remains unnoticed. The same basic factors which I had pointed earlier in case of both girls and boys lies in arrange marriages too and when most of the items on the checklist is checked there is a new knot tied. Isn't this convenient as well?
Marriages are convenient and why shouldn't it be!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9397196

Success in Marriage - Love

This article discusses one of the ingredients in a marriage that leads to its success, which is love.
Love is by far one of the most important ingredients that binds a married couple together in both times of fair weather and storms.  After all, it is love that brings 2 people together into a marriage in the first place, most of the time.
One measurement of our love for our spouse is the effort we put in, in trying to understand him or her. There are many things we can do to understand our spouse better. We can talk to her family members or close friends to learn more about her likes, dislikes, personality and other information that will be of help in our further understanding of her.
We can also listen attentively to our spouse to understand more of her thoughts, and more of why she behaves in the way she does in certain situations, in addition to learning more about her likes. dislikes, personality and any other information that will help us to understand her better. We can also increase our understanding of our spouse by simply observing her patterns of behavior, and asking her questions about them. This love-driven desire to understand our spouse better will go a long way in helping us to have a successful marriage, as it enables us to appreciate our spouse more, produces in us more tolerance of her shortcomings, and sometimes even arouses our sympathy for her.
Another measurement of our love for our spouse is the extent we will go, in doing or not doing something, for the sake of our spouse. For example, if we are not too concerned about dressing up well, and our wife would rather we do, we will do so for her sake; and if we drink, and our wife would rather we do not, we will not do so for her sake.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3177140

Marriage Love Affair

1. Remain friends: Never outgrow friendship, remain connected. Care, love, jokes, play, are all acts of friendship; be committed to each other.
2. Spend quality time together: Togetherness is said to be the soul of marriage. Never allow the demands of modern day life squeeze the life out of your marriage. Spend quality time together talking.
3. Create an atmosphere for romance: Be vulnerable, jovial, laugh easily, be playful, look forward to being together, and love each other's company.
4. Create time for recreation: Your marriage can not thrive if you are always on the fast lane of life. Slow down, create time to rest together, relax and play. Communication can only get to the peak and you can remain intimate as you relax together.
5. Give gifts: Lovers exchange gifts. Give gifts to your spouse; don't wait till his or her birthday. Go ahead; celebrate your spouse through giving. Give generously; one good way to show love is to give.
6. Celebrate each other: Be excited about each other. Look forward to meeting each other and be glad to be together. Be proud of each other, and use every opportunity to celebrate each other with excitement.
7. Celebrate special days: Your spouse's birthday should not go unnoticed; celebrate it. Make it the most important day in your life and do everything to always make it a remarkable day. Also don't forget your wedding anniversary day and some other special days in your life.
8. Be generous with appreciation: Everybody loves to be appreciated; do it to your spouse, do it now! Appreciate everything and stop being critical. Women get better when they are appreciated for good looks and good food.
9. Forgive generously: For you to retain the fire of love in your marriage, you must be someone who can forgive others. No matter how good your marriage is, no matter how strong you are as a Christian, you will still offend each other, which is why you must cultivate the habit of quick and total forgiveness.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2935288

Marriages - Love Or Arranged?

Marriages are made in heaven but practiced on earth. The institution of marriage has received a serious jolt with the coming up of this century. During this period the modern day youth no longer believed in permanent association. I know, still there are a few people who believe in the sanctity of the institution of marriage but their percentage is very less. Like the instant foods this generation has come to accept instant relationships where they come together for blissful moments and go their own respective ways later. Thereafter, they forget about the unwanted or undesirable accidental products conceived during their associations. They are either left to be handled by single parent or find their way into abandoned kids homes run by social organizations. Are we doing the right thing by accepting all this that's happening right in front of our eyes. Just ponder over it minutely.
Before we go into the pros and cons of this relationship called "Marriage" we need to go into the root causes. Marriages were either arranged or loved ones. The arranged marriages were left to the judgment of elders who decided what could be best for their children. This belief was shattered with the advent of confident youth appearing all of a sudden. . They thought they were entitled to lead the life they want on their own terms and with whosoever they desire. This gave birth to the so called "Love Marriages" Where the kids just announced their intentions to their parents, friends and relatives. People had no option than to give their blessings to the so called enlightened couples.
This institution of marriage went a step further with the advent of gay and lesbian marriages. This community started asking for their rights which have been accepted in certain part of the world in the west. However, I am not here to start a debate on such issues because by doing so we shall be diverting our attention from the main issue being discussed. Lets keep this debatable issue for the judgement of our enlightened people.
However, what strikes most in my mind is the authenticity and dignity the institution of marriage provided to the couples. The emotional bond between a male and female partners was so strong that it could withstand any pressure from either sides. The all important view of a family photograph consisting of parents along with two lovely kids by their side is any day a dream photograph for any family living in any part of the world. Let's try to strengthen this bond by bringing with it a lot of love, affection, peace, harmony and put a paste of emotional cream around it. The marriage is above all the one night stands and brings with it a feeling of togetherness, belonging and a feeling of cohesive unit. Unlike the one night stands where the partners don't even like to waste much time in putting clothes properly in a hurry to rush to the next destination. Apart from temporary bliss it does not bring any other feeling. So, why not promote the better relationships like marriage. Get married to a good person and realise and feel what I am trying to convey. Experience the real permanent bliss. Believe me, even Sex is more sacred in the institution of marriage. Give it a try and share your experience with me.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1841947

Save Your Marriage, Love Your Life

Want to save your marriage?
Before you can save your marriage there is an important question that you have to answer. If the answer is yes, you have a very good chance of saving your marriage and being happy. If you answer no, you must turn the answer to a yes before you can save anything.
That question is: Do You Love Yourself?
We have all been raised to believe that loving ourselves is selfish and bad. Many of us grow up feeling that no one loves us and we have no concept or example of how to love someone else.
This condition goes a long way into making relationships very difficult because we are looking for love outside of ourselves instead of internally and we really do not know what love feels or looks like.
I was 55 before I finally learned to love myself. I don't mean being narcissistic. I mean appreciating myself for who I am, being nonjudgmental, accepting me as me without expectations.
Think of the love a dog has for a human. It is unconditional. If you cannot love yourself unconditionally you will not be able to love someone else the same way because you do not know how it feels. You have no knowledge of what love is.
I had been going to a therapist to deal with my depression and he said you have to learn to love yourself. I was startled by that statement as I had never thought about loving myself. I went home and started crying. My husband asked me what was wrong and I sobbed that I had to learn to love myself and I didn't know how. That was a major transition for me to being aware of what love is and embracing it for myself. I had to learn to treat myself like I would my best friend. I had to put myself first and not sacrifice my core values for someone else's love.
If your answer was yes, "I love myself", you are well on your way to saving your marriage if that is what you both choose. If your answer is no, learn to love yourself first and then work on saving your marriage.
It is possible that your spouse does not know how to love unconditionally either. Watch his/her parents and how they interact. That is what your spouse believes love and marriage is. At this point you can only be aware of the believe systems they have. If you are in agreement with the parent's relationship style, you are half way there. If you don't it is an uphill climb to acknowledge how you feel and how you are going to handle your non-alignment.
The key to learning to love yourself is to:

• think about what true unconditional love is
• practice it on yourself
• be aware of your internal talk that is judgmental, unforgiving and change the talk to loving, supporting words.

It isn't easy, but it is worth every effort to love yourself as god loves you, unconditionally. You will know how to love someone else when you know how to love yourself. How will you know? You will feel light and happy and very little will bother you anymore.
Why? Because you will no longer feel like all judgement is aimed at you. You will know that you are okay and the other person needs a little love too.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7512801

How to Save a Marriage in 5 Steps

Avoid Divorce and Find Happiness within the Marriage Again
You are searching for some different methods you can use to restore the affection, intimacy, and joy of your marriage again. You want to get back the happiness that seemed to surround the two of you when you began this journey together. You are saying to yourself, "I need to save my marriage."
When you got married to your spouse two separate and somewhat different personalities, upbringings, and possibly different cultures were united. All marriage relationships go through incidences of conflict and disagreement because of the previously mentioned personal differences that are parts of your marriage.
If the marriage relationship becomes a perpetual-cycle of conflict and dysfunction, then the strain of the marriage problems stemming from bitterness may prove to be too overwhelming. The painful and harmful feelings stemming from the bitterness of the relationship may become too intolerable. You need some serious changes in your marriage to keep both of you from getting separated. Don't let the marriage fade or worse yet become a divorce-war. A divorce often negatively affects the personal and social lives of both partners.
Available to you right now are five different ways to solve your marriage problems such as: misunderstandings, breakdowns in communication, lack of fulfillment, and loss of hope for the restoration of happiness and joy in your married life. There are marriage restoration steps that both of you can follow to solve these types of problems and save your marriage. If you ignore the marriage problems they will continue to spiral out of control.
Step 1: Agree that there are Major Problems in your Marriage
The first step to solve your marriage issues is to honestly admit and agree that the problems do exist. It will take communication and a decision to cooperate together fully in order to make any of these steps viable in your relationship. If your spouse is not interested in trying to save the marriage, then in order to influence your spouse in a positive way you could start using these methods. You will at least be able to improve your internal personal life, and you may be able to save your marriage all by yourself.
Step 2: Determine the Marriage Problems Alone
Separately, start this part of the process of determining both of your marriage problems and solutions. The next step will be worked on together, but this stage should be done on your own. Both of you should sit down separately, and write out your own list of the marriage problems from each of your own personal perspectives. Each of you putting in your own individual effort will prove to each other that both of you are serious about doing each of your parts to save the marriage. When engaging in this activity each of you should try to use the following as guidelines:
Gather facts about the marriage problems that you perceive
Make assumptions (based on making a true effort to learn about your spouse's background, experiences, personality, and the marriage problem facts that you had gathered)
Come up with your own individual solutions to your assumptions
Step 3: Have Meetings to Determine the Marriage Problems and Solutions Together
The next step to help save your marriage in crisis from divorce is to sit down cordially together with the aim of determining the marriage problems both of you agree need to be worked on together. Come together to open-up and share your individual solutions using respectful two-way communication that allows each spouse's individual solution to a particular marriage problem to be fully listened to and considered. If your communication together is not clear and/or forthcoming, then look out for subtle hints each of you will leave.
Use a peaceful, back-and-forth communication style
Next, determine together which of your individual problems have caused the marriage to suffer, such as life decision differences, lack of intimacy, abuse, work and home stress, and/or unfaithfulness
When describing a grievance, always use statements that describe how you felt instead of blaming your spouse for what transpired
If the conversation turns into an argument, then agree to take a break apart from each other until both of you are calmed down and ready to continue peacefully
Brainstorm and write down all of the most important marriage problems you both are feeling and sharing
Allow the conversation on how to solve the agreed upon problems to become a fusion of better ideas built upon each idea both of you share. Continue to do this until you both agree on the solutions you will take as marriage saving goals
Follow through on accomplishing those goals together, and hold each other respectfully accountable for each doing his or her own part
Step 4: Get Sound Advice
It is important to seek sound advice from close friends and family who truly care about you and know the two of you best. Expert books and counseling can give you options, suggestions, and help both of you in the process of coming to terms together. It can help each of you understand how to make the relationship work from both of your perspectives. Always evaluate any advice you get to see if it will work well for you and your spouse. Following one "bad apple" suggestion could spoil your marriage saving efforts, so be careful!
Step 5: Rekindle the Marriage
The perfect way to "lock-in" your efforts to save your marriage with your spouse is through reigniting your love for each other. The special, secret ingredients of marriage romance are surprises and assertive pursuit of each other and upfront honesty shared with each other. All of these aspects of romance that help build intimacy can be put into effect on a hot, candlelit date, playful displays of affection, and/or weekend getaways.
Honestly opening up to each other while you focus on "romancing-up" and saving your marriage is one of the best ways to rekindle a close marriage relationship together. Passionately getting to know each other all over again as the people you have now become will help seal the relationship building efforts you and your spouse are making together.
Conclusion
If you give each other plenty of time to follow all five marriage relationship restoring methods, then sooner or later both of you should be able to truly open-up and share your feelings. This process of restoring passion, purpose, and emotional connection should make your relationship strong with natural attraction. Work with determination to follow the five marriage saving methods by both of you accepting that the marriage needs to be fixed; determining the marriage problems together, getting sound advice, and romantically pursuing each other. Working together to accomplish these five methods should help both of you re-establish passion for each other.
If both of you face many obstacles along the way when you are trying to fix the relationship, then you can take a break from your marriage saving responsibilities to take a breather. However, no matter how difficult it may become to communicate with each other or to deal with outside pressures do not allow those thing to keep you from getting back together to work on the marriage. Also, do not allow them to distract both of you from achieving your goals. If you think that re-ordering these steps would work best for saving your marriage, then accomplish these steps in whichever order both of you decide to take. You can have many options in your marriage saving efforts. If both of you decide that surrendering the marriage is not an option, then you will come out the other side happier for all the effort.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6449607

Marriage in Crisis? What You Can Do to Save Your Marriage Together

A Marriage in Crisis: Factors that Cause Relationship Devastation
It is common for many marriages to cease to be happy marriages. Perhaps, personal detachment has turned the relationship a married couple once had into a rivalry. These negative emotional, physical, and relational signs point to the fact that a marriage is in a crisis. Another possible indicator that a marriage is in a crisis would be that one or both of the marriage partners have asked for a divorce.
Heightened concern for the health of a marriage by one or both partners requires immediate resolution. It is crucial to prevent a marriage in crisis from becoming a broken marriage. The following tips are ways to overcome the problems that are behind the strain on a relationship.
Turn Embattled Bitterness into Trust and Forgiveness
A culmination of hurts, let downs, and emotional wounds -- if left to continue unabated -- can cause the trust upon which a marriage was founded to turn into possible betrayal, opposition, and lack of forgiveness. These negative blows to a relationship end up as feelings of embattled bitterness that tear apart a marriage relationship. A marriage plagued with the resentment resulting from this embattled bitterness will eventually turn such a relationship into a marriage in crisis mode.
If these damaging factors describe the factors that are hurting your marriage, then you can do these important steps to save your marriage. The process of turning an embattled and bitter relationship into a restored marriage requires open communication, counseling, and the solutions for each of the marriage problems to be put into action. These positive, marriage saving actions are the foundations of creating a marriage filled with trust, respect, and forgiveness. They can help create a marriage peace agreement with the potential to save and strengthen your marriage. Use the following tips to help both of you create trust and forgiveness in your marriage.
Admit that Each has Done His or Her Part to Hurt the Other Person
Saving your marriage together takes cooperation in repairing marital problems. Additionally, it takes fast action to change the way that each of you relates to the other. If each of you feels personally "wronged", then agreeing to talk together openly and honestly is crucial. As such, the two of you could have effective peace talks to help save the marriage. Bitter enemies through effective peace making can become trusted allies.
Effective peace making requires open honesty and willingness to respect each other. It is difficult to admit to one's share of the problems in the marriage. But, both of you need to honestly admit to the selfish and hurtful things that you both have done to the other spouse. Doing so will establish an environment of honesty, vulnerability, and trust. This positive environment is necessary for marriage restoration. Also, effective peace making requires willingness by both parties to understand the desires and limitations of the other party. Follow these measures, because they are necessary in order that a possible satisfactory compromise be achieved in your marriage.
Make a Marriage Problem and Solution List Together
In order to make your time communicating together affective and constructive, work together to create a full list of the problems and mutually agreed upon solutions to those problems. Next, agree together that you are going to do these things to make your marriage better. Also, take time to list the positive and enjoyable aspects of your relationship as a motivating factor for continuing the marriage together.
Seek Objective and Unbiased Outside Help
If you cannot resolve the problems in your marriage together, it is advisable to share the discussion of how to solve your problems with an objective, unbiased third-party mediator. The third-party mediator may be a clergyman or a close mutual friend, whom both of you will respect and trust. Also, a professional marriage counselor can help you navigate this negotiation and marriage restoration process. These various types of counselors can help you come to terms with the realities of your situation. Furthermore, he or she can bring about positive change in the relationship.
Conclusion
Many seemingly insurmountable marital relationship troubles, hurts, and resentments that make up a marriage in crisis can be effectively fixed. These negative factors can be turned around to become the basis of new trust and marriage success. Married couples who work together to identify those things that cause resentment and discord in the relationship can better be able to forgive each other. Forgiveness coupled with following the problem resolution guidelines in this article may be the recipe that can save your marriage in crisis.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6265064

How a Woman Can "FUSS" Her Way to a Better Christian Marriage

As Christians, we often talk and sing about a God who can do anything; but when it comes to making our marriages work, we act as if God has gone on vacation and left us to do the dirty work of maintaining and repairing our marriages. God, who created marriage, is passionate about making your Christian marriage relationship work. But Christian marriages all over the country are ending in divorce at an enormous rate of over 30%. Why?
While a good marriage requires two people who are committed to making it last, as a Christian woman, you have the power to add what may be lacking in your own marriage. This secret ingredient is called "FUSS."
Before we go any further, you're probably saying to yourself, "I fuss all the time, but it's not getting me anywhere." When I mention the word, "FUSS", I'm not talking about the nagging type of fuss that can cause your husband to crawl back into his proverbial shell and refuse to open his heart to you. I'm speaking of "FUSS", an acronym for "Fight Until You See Solutions!" I want to give you a clear definition of "FUSS" and show you how to apply this concept to your Christian marriage. But first, let's look at how Christian marriages compare to other marriages, and how your Christian marriage can be stronger than any other marriage on the planet.
Christianity is not a religion, but a faith relationship which results in a lifestyle of unconditional love. With this being said, when we compare other religions with the lifestyle of Christianity, we see a difference in values. For instance, some religions believe in polygamy or having numerous wives (or husbands), whereas Christianity sees marriage as a relationship between one man and one woman, (Titus 1:6).
In addition, the Christian faith is defined by unconditional love of God for mankind, and as a result, God's people should express a love for God and other people on a consistent basis. This love concept is especially applicable to the marriage relationship. While other faiths may focus on other areas of the marriage relationship, Christian love is expressed in 1 Corinthians 13, a love that endures and overcomes anything. When applied properly, this love can overshadow the disagreements, anger, tough times, and disappointments that can threaten to tear a marriage apart.
God wants to bless you and your marriage, and for this reason He will equip you with the grace and resources you need to help your marriage thrive. A few resources you can start using today include:
•Prayer.
•Reputable Christian marriage forums.
•Reading Christian-based marriage books.
As a Christian woman, your first weapon in protecting your marriage should be prayer. This is simply you having a conversation with God. You can talk to God about anything, and you don't need to worry about your business being told to others. Often when I pray, I use a marriage journal and I write love letters to God. I discuss my husband, my fears, and my goals. However, I also, try to give God time to speak to me. It's often so easy to talk to God and tell Him our problems, but it can be a challenge to take a few moments to get His response. Take time today to listen to your Heavenly Father's voice. He may speak to your heart, through another person, through a sermon, or through something you read.
Christian marriage forums can also offer you a great opportunity to view discussions related to some of the marriage problems you're facing. However, while these forums enable women to express their emotions, feelings, and concerns about their own issues, you should be cautious about what you share on these discussion forums. You should also be extra careful about the replies you receive through these forums because you really don't know who is responding to your question or comment(s). With that being said, one reputable Christian forum I recommend is Focus on the Family.
Another resource that offers great marriage help is reading Christian-based marriage books. There are books written on subjects such as:
•Marriage Communication
•Sex and marriage
•Finances
•How to Function Properly in a Second Marriage
•Handling Stepchildren within the Marriage
•And much, much more.
A few books I recommend include:
•The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Gary Chapman
•The Sexually Confident Wife by Shannon Ethridge
•For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
•The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
These are just a few, but reading Christian based books can give you a more realistic and intimate perspective from well-known experts who you know have been married for a substantial amount of years.
Now let's look at how you can "FUSS" your way to a better Christian marriage.
F - Fight. When we fight, we should focus on Christ. In marriage, we are tempted to focus on so many things instead of the root of our solutions. We focus on our children, our husband's faults, reality TV, ministry, friends, etc. While many of these things are important, can they really help us to solve our marriage problems? When you focus on getting into the presence of God, He can overwhelm you with the unconditional love you need to give your husband in spite of his sins, flaws, and mistakes, (1 Peter 4:8).
U - Until. Working through your marriage problems, in most cases will require some time and a lot of effort on your part. This means you'll need to exercise patience. One of our biggest issues came when I lost my job and we began to suffer financially. My husband, (as do most men), became distant as he felt the pressure of financial responsibilities cave in on him. Our arguments increased and I felt emotionally distant from him, which led me to become bitter and cynical about marriage. In addition, I became attracted to my former boss, (which was weird because he wasn't even my type). With time, however, I began to do some things as I waited for God to work on my marriage relationship and get the necessary marriage help I needed, (Psalm 40:1-2).
I took time to:
•Reflect on and admit how I contributed to our marriage problems.
•Praise and worship God for the good things He had already done in my life and in my marriage.
•Study God's Word to discover His unconditional love for me so I could overcome my own sins, flaws, and insecurities.
•Study my husband and get reacquainted with him so I would know how to communicate and respond to him better.
•Communicate with my husband in a way that he would respond properly.
S - See. I had to see a vision of my marriage working, (Hebrews 11:1). Although my marriage wasn't where I wanted it to be at the time, I had to believe that God was going to restore it until I saw the results in the physical realm. Was it hard? Of course it was, but God was faithful to honor my prayers and requests by blessing my marriage and bringing solutions to a desperate situation.
S - Solutions. Eventually, I began to see a change in my husband. However, I also believe that through my time of Focusing on Christ, and waiting on God, my husband had seen a change in me. As you focus on Christ and do your part by following His lead, you will start to see solutions. Thank God for every improvement in your marriage even the small ones!
Instead of fussing in the natural which can cause your husband to shut down, you should consider the resources available to you such as worship, prayer, Bible study, Christian based marriage forums and books. Then do what you can do to genuinely "FUSS" or Fight for Your Marriage Until You See Solutions! When you do your part, then you can expect God to do His part.

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What Does Marriage Mean to You?

Within marriage, there is often a struggle between intimacy and separateness. You want to be close to your spouse, yet maintain your own individuality or separateness. There are times you want to be alone and times you want to feel totally connected. You may even use terms that express oneness when referring to the connection that you seek The therapist Erich Fromm made this observation concerning mankind, in his book, The Art of Loving (1956).
"Man-of all ages and cultures is confronted with the solution to one and the same question: the question of how to overcome separateness, how to achieve union, how to transcend one's own individual life and fine at-onement " (p. 9).
One of the ways you may overcome separateness is joining with another person through marriage. When you do use marriage to overcome that separateness, you hope never to be alone again. Marriage in such a case becomes insurance against being alone. A growing concern with this mindset is that it sets the stage for serial marriages to occur. In serial marriages, you may be in and out of a series of marriages. When one fails, you find another person to take the place of the missing person in your life.
You may consider marriage as merely a matter of living with another person, or having a roommate with special privileges, with has no other deeper or special meaning. Marriage in such cases, becomes a box you check on their tax returns and describes your present living arrangement. Another variation on this is when marriage describes the main person you are sleeping with. It does not mean that you are bound to them or that they have special claims on you. It means that you have a legal backstop so that you always have one person to keep your bed warm, even though you avoid any claim of exclusivity, which is often termed as an 'open marriage'.
You may be one of those for whom marriage serves a deeper purpose. For you marriage is having a special deep relationship with another person. It is about having a special sense of connectedness and union. This is more that just overcoming your separateness. You want and desire having a special closeness with someone else. You believe marriage is joining two people as one on many levels at once.
So when you hear others talk about marriage, it remains unclear which kind of relationship they are talking about. Although they all use the word 'marriage', what they mean when they use that word differs greatly.
With all the misunderstandings about marriage, many couples miss this deeper purpose of developing intimacy, and instead think that the marriage itself is the whole purpose of the institution. They go through the ceremony for societies' approval, to give their children two parents and for special tax status. When they make marriage the whole end purpose of going through the ceremony, this misunderstanding leads to many people re-evaluating marriage in terms of its importance.
Rather than marriage being a special event, it becomes nothing more that another business deal. A factor contributing to this situation is the movement away from the church sanctioning of marriage to the legal sanctioning of marriage. In previous ages, there were no marriage licenses. Marriage was not considered as being under God rather than the authority of government. Governments role in marriage was limited, therefore, no license was needed. The government had no say so in who was married. It was the church who decided whether or not a couple married. With marriage in the church, the specialness of the ritual and ceremony was upheld.
The question "Is marriage losing its importance?" can easily be answered with a simple -NO. Marriage is very important to people. Many citizens of the US are clamoring for Congress and their State legislators to pass bills concerning marriage. The importance of marriage seems to be increasing.
The underlying reason for such a question and what is meant by the question is an intriguing area to explore.
The concept of marriage and family are changing. Although marriage is more important than ever, what people mean by the term 'marriage' is changing. In Biblical times, marriage was a blood covenant. Being a covenant, the joining of the two people was a long term commitment. In a covenant, the two parties joined all their resources and the arrangement was life-long. Not only was it life long, since the covenant was blood based, it extended beyond your lifetimes.
Even during those times, there was controversy as the covenant minded people dealt with those who were influenced by the Ancient Egyptian culture of that time. In Ancient Egypt, the term 'marriage' was used for indicating who you were currently co-habitating with. It was more of a current status term. In the royal families marriages were arranged with family members in order to keep the wealth in the family. Marriage was used as a way to protect wealth for those persons in that culture or influenced by the culture. So even in the Biblical times of the patriarchs, there were clashing definitions of what 'marriage' meant.
In 19th century America, when people used the term marriage, it referred to a church sanctioned joining of two individuals. As more people wanted a spouse, but either did not want the obligations associated with the church or the church was not so readily available, there was an increase in civil marriages. People were married under the authority of government, rather than the authority of the Church and by extension God's approval. Although on the surface, the system worked, it carried with it some legal baggage that arose when the question of divorce arose. Marriage evolved into a form of contract rather than a covenant. Since it was viewed as a contract, the parties could dissolve the contract if either one failed to keep the contract or they mutually decided it did not work. By turning marriage into a contract rather than a covenant, the matter of divorce became a concern of lawyers rather than for ecclesiastical persons to rule on matters.
The subject of marriage still remained a sticky one since people wanted the appearance of the covenant with all its pomp, sacredness and ceremony, yet some also wanted the ease of dissolution of the arrangement allowed by contracts. The use of contracts also made the dissolution of the joint estate much easier to negotiate. The public blended aspects of cohabitation, contract and covenant into a common term.
The legal entity of marriage also took on new significance when governments began taxing income. When income was not taxed, the issue of marriage was a moot point. It was not a concern of government. When income began being taxed, the government began being concerned about "what is a marriage." Since couples are taxed at a different rate than singles, many saw the marriage designation as having a tax advantage. When governments used duties, fees and imports to generate tax revenues, the tax advantages of marriage were non-existent. Since governments have shifted how they collect their monies, now what constitutes a 'marriage' has tax implications.
With all these changing definitions of marriage, the question, "Is marriage losing its importance?" takes on some new angles. Depending on your definition of marriage, whether one of who you are co-habitating with, who you legal tax partner is, or who you are joined with in the eyes of God the question of whether or not that 'concept' is losing its importance is a more pertinent and meaningful question.
Marriage remains extremely important. What becomes the pertinent question is "Why is marriage important?" Your definition of marriage often determines why marriage is important and what it 'really' means to you.

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