A Biblical Perspective For Christian Marriage
Laws Of Marriage In Nigeria
Do You Need Relationship Advice?
Do you feel that your relationship has stalled. That it is not developing into a full blown long term commitment from the guy. Or do you feel confused that you do not really understand what is really happening and whether he is really interested in you. Do you feel you could use some relationship advice from someone who knows and can tell you what to do or even what not to do? Well you might have tried to understand the problems yourself. You spend a lot of time into developing this into a serious relationship. You want your man to commit long term. You want him to fall in love with you. You want him to realize how much time, energy, devotion you are investing into making the relationship into a beautiful one. But Alas, it often happens that he seems to squirm out of the situation. Even when the going seems to be smooth, he would want out if pressured. You do not really know what is happening, what is causing him to tune out. It is indeed very painful not to know. Not knowing what to do, women react immediately, more so because they have never been taught to deal with such a situation where the man seems to want to get away from committing although he is not averse to a relationship as such. Women usually do one of three things hoping that it will make him see the depth of her commitment and cause him to thus turn around and realise his mistake, so to say, and commit. One, women may freak out on him and make him to see reason by forcing the issue. She may resort to an outburst where she expresses her anguish vehemently. Sadly, this does not work. No one want to be dragged into a relationship by force. And nor would you want to have a man who is in the relationship out of some kind of fear of reprisal or because he wants to avoid such situations in future. This does not make for deepness in the relationship that you seek. This is not good relationship advice. You must have control over yourself and try some other advice. Two, women may consider themselves responsible for the status quo in the relationship. Although self-examination has always been considered to be a good practice, it often becomes a self-castigation. Women start sulking, wallowing in a sense of incompleteness and consider themselves inadequate and unworthy of him. Again, this is a big no no. This will not do. Every woman must believe in themselves. In fact belief in oneself is probably the Greatest Achievement of Mankind. It is said mountains can be moved if one believes in oneself. And this is true for every individual, man or woman. And this Secret is behind every success story that we see around. If you believe in yourself and consider your goal as supremely possible, it Will become possible. Thirdly, the woman may start doubting the character of man in being so vacillating and undecided. This may set in motion, over time, a distrust in the very nature of man. A woman may start thinking that most men do not see beyond their limited self interest. That they are more interested in wining and sports and flaunting their manhood and bravado and do not consider a long term relationship as meaningful. You start having doubts on the very character of men in general. Even this is far from the truth. Although partially it IS true that men are very much in love with themselves and their manhood and are seized with activities that showcase their bravado and appetite for risk-taking, this is only one aspect of them. Men do take care of their families and loved ones and are truly one half of mankind and are often very responsive and sensitive individuals. We require relationship advice that will take us out of these pitfalls of our own limited understanding and show us the real nature of men and a relationship. We must find out what works. Sound relationship advice must tell how a man thinks and how his thinking towards his woman change or may be made to change. That is what a woman needs to know: how to fathom his real feelings and how to make them change permanently towards her such that he is ready for a long term commitment. The real reason why a man cannot decide whether to commit long term or not is often not known to the man himself. He himself does not know why he is not inclined to say yes although he likes the woman. This is very sound advice for the woman and should give a new insight. You should be happy to note that it is not because of you that he is turning away. He may be in love with you but still turn away. Although he may not be clear exactly, in his mind, why he is disinclined to commit, there is a reason ofcourse and that reason for his turning away is felt by him in his gut. And men are not so good in expressing their feelings while women are so fluent in it. This is another reason for women failing to understand their men. Since, women can express what they are feeling so easily they expect the man too to do so equally well. And thus, his silence becomes loaded and prone to misinterpretation. Now what does a man feel in his gut that makes him say, 'wait, not now'? To understand this we have to see how a man relates to himself and the world around him. A man basically has two persona. One for the world around him and one more inside of him that tells him that he has work to do in this lifetime. That he has a particular goal to accomplish which is apparently on a higher plane than that which his external personality seems to be pursuing in his daily life. There is a higher goal which he is trying to fit into the activities of his daily life. So, how does this knowledge help you, the woman, to get him to turn towards you? A man would permanently turn towards the woman for a life long commitment immediately if he realised that this woman would not thwart him in his real pursuit, the higher aspiration that he carries in his bosom. This is the most sound relationship advice a woman can get. She must make him feel that she endorses his inner goals and that she would help him further his secret goals and never come in the way. This is not a trick. This is again a life time commitment from the woman that must come from the core of her heart. And the guy would feel from the core of his heart that this is the woman and he will melt. He will himself turn around and declare his undying allegiance to her. It will be his decision and this is not manipulation. There is no deception in this method. Only pure allegiance from her for his real self. And pure allegiance from him towards her. For a lifetime. This is as good as it can get. Once this inner realization for the suitability of each other's companionship is felt, all distances are swept away. Nothing matters. Beauty, brains, looks et al become meaningless. Only the allegiance matters. This is wonderful. This is THE Relationship Advice that you need. Although one may understand the core idea, there are a few more things that one has to take care of to see that one's intention of getting the love of your life is fulfilled without fail. There are ways to see that he is positively inclined towards you even when, for some reason, he has become disenchanted. There are fun ways to get to understand the issues involved which you can check out here, without wasting your time, to get a lifetime of happiness and commitment.
Top 10 Tips to Stay Balanced with Yourself and Your Relationships While Pursuing Your Dreams and Goals
It is very normal when pursuing our Goals and Dreams to get a bit out of balance. It is easy to let your own self-care, as well as other responsibilities and relationships temporarily fade into the background as you move forward. As you read the tips below, pay particular attention to which areas really stand out that you need to focus on.
Tip #1: Physical Self-Care. Make a plan to eat healthily, exercise 3-4 times per week, get plenty of sleep, and do some slow deep breathing. Taking care of your body will help keep you sharp and focused.
Tip #2: Emotional Self-Care. Ask yourself these important questions, What do I need emotionally to keep moving forward? What do I need emotionally to keep my feet on the ground as I focus on my goals? Listen to yourself, and take action.
Tip #3: Friendship Support. Check in with yourself on this important source of support. What friendships do you have in place that will sustain you as you pursue your goals? What type of support do you need? Everyone is different on this. For some it is time to talk, for others it is a good pep talk when discouraged, and for still others it might be a kick in the pants when you need it. Take the time to write down a list of friends you can go to for support, and what you need. Then take action to ask them if they'd be willing to support you in the ways you need. You aren't meant to do this alone so don't!
Tip #4: Spiritual Self-Care. If your spirituality is an important factor in your life, make sure to take time to nurture this part of your life. A healthy spiritual life can provide a great source of inspiration, purpose, strength, and stability.
Tip #5: Have Some Fun. Don't forget to take time to enjoy the good things in life. Think about fun activities that energize and rejuvenate you. Set aside time each week even if for just 30 minutes to do some fun activities. You are worth it, and taking the time to refresh yourself will help you do your best work!
Tip #6: Have Some Colleagues in Place to Brainstorm. It's so important to have like-minded peers who are the same path to challenge, inspire, and encourage you. Set up a regular meeting with a colleague, join or create your own monthly mastermind group. This support and fresh viewpoint will give you the motivation and boost you need.
Tip #7: Erase Your Negative Messages. A vital part of your self-care is wiping out as quickly as possible the automatic negative message we all struggle with. Try to not be surprised or derailed by them. When they come there are a variety of ways to eradicate them. Practice some of the following ways, and see which ones work best for you. For example, imagine that message on a blackboard and erase it; See it on a computer screen and delete it; or picture it as a mean old discouraging troll and blast it away! The most important thing is to face these negative and draining messages head-on, and get rid of them!
Tip #8: Practice Positive Self-Talk. Part of staying in balance as you pursue your dreams and goals involves coming alongside yourself as an encouraging best friend. Think about what you really need encouragement about, and write these supportive statements on index cards and keep one in your wallet, desk, or bathroom counter. Repeat these statements to yourself frequently. Here are some examples: What I have to contribute is meaningful and important; I can do it! Just keep going, progress comes one step at a time; I am meant to do this in the world; etc.
Tip #9: Nurture Your Closest Family Relationships. It's easy to neglect our family relationships hoping they will understand, etc. This is only realistic in the very short-term. Make sure to put time into the family relationships that are meaningful to you. Make sure to thank them for the varying kinds of support they are giving you. Don't assume they just know -- they need to hear it! Take the time to ask them what their needs are during this time you are focusing on pursuing your goals.
Tip#10: Ask Yourself How You Are Doing. Don't forget to check in with yourself regularly to see how you are doing, and what you need. It's easy to get lost as you pursue your goals. Neglecting yourself will lead to burnout, discouragement, and even giving up on your goals. Don't let it happen. Take time each night to see how you are doing inside, and respond to yourself in the ways you need.
Family relationship strained �" repair it with care!
Is enough care being taken by family members, where in both the husband and wife are career oriented. Kids don't have enough of knowledge about their own culture, ethnicity and how diverse it is from others. Their lifestyle varies in comparison to the rest of them. You find more and more strained family relationship too.
Kids are often left at daycare center while older ones spend the whole day at school. They sometimes do not even have enough time to talk about their individual lives let alone spend a day of fun together.
But building good relationships with one's children does not really have to be spent the whole day.
How can things improve?
Small tips for you. Even short conversation, small gestures of love and affection, kissing or caressing the little ones, or your spouse can make a lot of difference in your life. Little things that you do everyday whether they be for an hour or for just a few minutes are enough especially when done with sincerity and commitment to strengthening and building the bonds that you have with your spouse and children if any. Take time for one another by going on dates with your spouse or having family outings. It's amazing what a picnic can do for a family. You don't do the talking all the time; lend a patient ear to your partner or kids too. Listen what he/she have to say about their office or school. Have dinner together or saying prayers together can build a strong solidarity.
Parents with mobile phones for instance can keep track of their older children through mobile phones. Messages left in a family bulletin board or posted on the refrigerator are also great ways of maintaining your presence in your child's life. Help them in whatever small way you can, probably a presentation or some project. Gifting them something once a while shows that you care for them.
Another effective way in building family relationships is finding a common ground and making compromises not only on your schedules but also on your various interests. It is a good idea to take turns going to your favorite places when out on a family trip. Take their opinion on where they would want to go, rather than forcing up on your choice on them.
