Whose Fault When Men Become Porn Addicts?
Four Mistakes Wives Must Avoid
Did you know:
That every second 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography?
That every second 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines?
That 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet?
If you have any suspicion at all that your husband may be involved in pornography you must not sit idle. You'll be sorry if you wait around for evidence because by the time you get it, it may be too late. If your husband has nothing to hide then he should have no problems with your desire for accountability.
If you're ready to face the truth about men and pornography there are some important pitfalls you need to know about before you confront your husband. You must be aware of these four things because they do have eternal consequences.
1. Don't think it's just a "little problem"
2. Don't accept responsibility or blame for his problem
3. Pornography is a spiritual issue with eternal consequences
4. You cannot fight the battle alone
First, pornography is not child's play. It quickly becomes an addiction just as powerful as any drug and just like drugs, it grips a person in a stranglehold that is nearly impossible to break. And similar to drugs, it leads people down a path of diminishing returns.
Second, if your husband is involved in pornography you may find yourself thinking that there is something wrong with you, his wife. Don't believe this lie for one second.
It's critical that you point the finger in the proper direction because if you're willing to take the blame for his problem, he will never face up to it and without him owning up to the problem, it will never be resolved. He most likely had a sexual addiction long before he met you. Regardless, it has nothing to do with your appearance or the way you perform in the bedroom.
Third, pornography is a spiritual issue because a man's own perceived needs have become his god and he constantly seeks out ways to worship himself.
Your husband's problem with pornography is devastating to his soul. He is hell bound and literally living a life of hell now as he attempts to feed a growing monster that cannot be satisfied.
Finally, all this information would be very discouraging if you had to figure out how to deal with it all by yourself. Thank God that you don't. God is a strong tower you can run to when it's time to face this battle. You must first seek his guidance and comfort. The most difficult, yet most important step to take, is to recognize your husband's need for redemption. You will have to take your eyes off of yourself, and the pain and anger you are rightfully feeling, and learn how you can help him.
Ask God to give you the desire to find help for your husband. Seek a Christian marriage counselor that can lead you in the right direction. There are Biblical principles you can implement in broken relationships that can make redemption, reconciliation and restoration possible.
If you want to save your marriage from the poison of pornography and restore trust and true intimacy to your marriage, you must take whatever steps are necessary to help break the bondage of your husband's porn addiction.
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