Be the Change and Fix an Unhappy Marriage

Have you ever thought "this is going to be a bad movie/party/meal/event ..."  yet you continue the activity and it is as bad as you thought it would be. Life is funny like that, often when we expect the worst we usually get the worst. As our married lives become more routine and predictable it we sometimes anticipate the less desirable behaviors of our partners and in effect allow these behaviors to to take a hold of our emotions even before the offending act. But what if we could upon the first notice of these feelings, acknowledge them but choose to respond differently.
Rather than insanely doing the same thing (negatively emotionally prejudging your partner) and expecting different results, change your perspective.  We can not always affect the things that come at us but we can change the way we respond and react to the environment around us.  You have the power to change.  Start off by challenging yourself to consider different perspectives of the challenges in your marriage and the possibly making some changes to your perspective.
Changing your perspective can lead to trying to understand the reason for your partner's behavior, accepting the action if it's something you can live with(don't sweat the small stuff), forgiving your partner, or even proactively finding ways to eliminate the situation.Being the change can be done by first recognizing the feelings that you have, accepting your feelings as being valid, recognizing that you have the power to choose how you let the feelings affect you, taking responsibility for your feelings, and deciding will the issue matter in 5, 10, or even 20 years.

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