Marriage is a life-long commitment, especially for couples whose
faith is rooted in Christian tradition. This may leave you wondering why
Christian marriage counseling is so popular. Having religion in your
home doesn't mean that you automatically have a successful and
productive relationship. In fact, there are plenty of pitfalls, such as
unrealistic expectations, that can hinder the health of your marriage.
If you find yourself struggling, there are many options, including
Christian marriage counseling. What are the things that you need to
consider when going into this process? Can it really fix your marital
woes?
Licensed Counselor or Minister?
The first thing you need to determine when you are considering Christian marriage counseling is what format will best meet your needs. There are two main choices. You can either see a minister of your particular faith, or a licensed marriage counselor that promotes or respects that faith tradition. There are pros and cons to both options.
When you see a minister acting in a role of a Christian marriage counselor, there is a great deal of understanding about your particular belief system and the expectations that are inherent from that tradition. Because this person already knows you, they won't have to spend much time examining things like family history. However, be very aware that many ministers are not trained in the techniques that make for a successful psychological evaluation. There may be issues that are involved that are just outside their realm of expertise. Many ministers are very good at the counseling aspect of their job, but not all have what it take to save a Christian marriage, despite their deep beliefs.
Marriage counselors are trained to deal with the deep and varying issues that can lead to the breakdown of any partnership. However, finding a practice that offers true Christian marriage counseling can be a struggle. Many therapists may claim to respect a belief tradition, but really display a subtle bias that makes progress difficult. For the best results, look for a counselor who shares your beliefs. They will be able to tap into their own personal feelings, while still giving you the professional guidance necessary. Don't forget that most Christian marriage counseling services are for-profit ventures, so the required fee will be higher than obtaining counseling through your home church.
Create a Safe Place
Regardless of who you select to perform your Christian marriage counseling, both partners should be comfortable with the choice. The best counselors take a balanced approach, favoring neither the husband nor the wife. This will create safety and trust, allowing each partner to hear what is needed to make improvements. Listening to criticism can be impossible to take if you feel threatened or unfairly targeted. However, that same statement may be internalized if the spouse knows that the therapist truly has the best intentions for the success of the marriage.
Commit to the Process
It isn't easy to save a marriage. There are so many layers of hurt and misunderstanding and peeling those back can be extremely painful. However, unless there are issues of abuse, addiction or infidelity, Christians have no excuse to not do the hard work that is necessary. Make the commitment to do what it takes to bring peace and harmony back into your home. Christian Marriage Counseling can be a valuable part of this process, creating a more stable home based upon firm religious foundations.
Licensed Counselor or Minister?
The first thing you need to determine when you are considering Christian marriage counseling is what format will best meet your needs. There are two main choices. You can either see a minister of your particular faith, or a licensed marriage counselor that promotes or respects that faith tradition. There are pros and cons to both options.
When you see a minister acting in a role of a Christian marriage counselor, there is a great deal of understanding about your particular belief system and the expectations that are inherent from that tradition. Because this person already knows you, they won't have to spend much time examining things like family history. However, be very aware that many ministers are not trained in the techniques that make for a successful psychological evaluation. There may be issues that are involved that are just outside their realm of expertise. Many ministers are very good at the counseling aspect of their job, but not all have what it take to save a Christian marriage, despite their deep beliefs.
Marriage counselors are trained to deal with the deep and varying issues that can lead to the breakdown of any partnership. However, finding a practice that offers true Christian marriage counseling can be a struggle. Many therapists may claim to respect a belief tradition, but really display a subtle bias that makes progress difficult. For the best results, look for a counselor who shares your beliefs. They will be able to tap into their own personal feelings, while still giving you the professional guidance necessary. Don't forget that most Christian marriage counseling services are for-profit ventures, so the required fee will be higher than obtaining counseling through your home church.
Create a Safe Place
Regardless of who you select to perform your Christian marriage counseling, both partners should be comfortable with the choice. The best counselors take a balanced approach, favoring neither the husband nor the wife. This will create safety and trust, allowing each partner to hear what is needed to make improvements. Listening to criticism can be impossible to take if you feel threatened or unfairly targeted. However, that same statement may be internalized if the spouse knows that the therapist truly has the best intentions for the success of the marriage.
Commit to the Process
It isn't easy to save a marriage. There are so many layers of hurt and misunderstanding and peeling those back can be extremely painful. However, unless there are issues of abuse, addiction or infidelity, Christians have no excuse to not do the hard work that is necessary. Make the commitment to do what it takes to bring peace and harmony back into your home. Christian Marriage Counseling can be a valuable part of this process, creating a more stable home based upon firm religious foundations.
Discover why saving a marriage is worth the effort. The situation
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