If you are the one wondering how to mend a marriage after an
affair, the chances are you are the one who has done the cheating. From
the outset, it is important for you to understand that this is one of
the most difficult indiscretions to overcome. The reason obviously, is
that a good marriage is built on a foundation of trust. What you have
done by having an affair is to betray that trust. You don't need anyone
to remind you how serious this is in terms of your marriage. You have
already found this out; otherwise you wouldn't be asking how to mend a
marriage after an affair.
Realistically, any chance you have of saving your marriage rests entirely in the hands of your spouse. It's all well and good for you to say that you want another chance and that you are remorseful but unless your spouse is prepared to forgive you, you could be facing an uphill battle. As they say in the classics "nothing ventured - nothing gained." So, you owe it to yourself and those close to you to do whatever is necessary to try and retrieve your marriage.
So what should you do to get the ball rolling? First, you need to proceed slowly. Don't pressure your spouse as this may backfire. If he/she is prepared to talk with you then you have something to work on. If that's not the case, then you may need to resort to sending a letter (not an email - that's not personal enough in these circumstances) expressing your regret at your indiscretion. Your next move depends on what reaction you get to your apology. If you can start the communicating process, then you have a chance of rebuilding bridges. Given that you have betrayed the trust of your loved one, don't expect this to happen overnight. This could be a long and drawn out process and you may need to seek professional help if you are to ever get back together again. Each person is different and you will need to use your intuitive skills to work out how far you can go at any given time. This is vital, especially in the early days of trying to rebuild your marriage and the trust which you have betrayed.
There are many examples of marriages that have survived where one of the parties has had an affair, so all is not lost just yet. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes and imagine how you would feel if the boot was on the other foot and it was your spouse that cheated on you. Would you be prepared to forgive and would you be prepared to have him/her back? It is not a situation that you would want to find yourself in so you really are in the hands of your spouse and whether or not he/she has forgiveness in their heart. Say your prayers and hope they have.
If you can survive this and retrieve your marriage, never forget the sacrifice that your partner made to have you back. You have a lot of trust to earn back - It's not impossible, but it will need you to be fully committed to making it work again. Your spouse deserves your total honesty and if you are sincere, hopefully, you will never be in a position where you have to ask how to mend a marriage after an affair ever again.
Realistically, any chance you have of saving your marriage rests entirely in the hands of your spouse. It's all well and good for you to say that you want another chance and that you are remorseful but unless your spouse is prepared to forgive you, you could be facing an uphill battle. As they say in the classics "nothing ventured - nothing gained." So, you owe it to yourself and those close to you to do whatever is necessary to try and retrieve your marriage.
So what should you do to get the ball rolling? First, you need to proceed slowly. Don't pressure your spouse as this may backfire. If he/she is prepared to talk with you then you have something to work on. If that's not the case, then you may need to resort to sending a letter (not an email - that's not personal enough in these circumstances) expressing your regret at your indiscretion. Your next move depends on what reaction you get to your apology. If you can start the communicating process, then you have a chance of rebuilding bridges. Given that you have betrayed the trust of your loved one, don't expect this to happen overnight. This could be a long and drawn out process and you may need to seek professional help if you are to ever get back together again. Each person is different and you will need to use your intuitive skills to work out how far you can go at any given time. This is vital, especially in the early days of trying to rebuild your marriage and the trust which you have betrayed.
There are many examples of marriages that have survived where one of the parties has had an affair, so all is not lost just yet. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes and imagine how you would feel if the boot was on the other foot and it was your spouse that cheated on you. Would you be prepared to forgive and would you be prepared to have him/her back? It is not a situation that you would want to find yourself in so you really are in the hands of your spouse and whether or not he/she has forgiveness in their heart. Say your prayers and hope they have.
If you can survive this and retrieve your marriage, never forget the sacrifice that your partner made to have you back. You have a lot of trust to earn back - It's not impossible, but it will need you to be fully committed to making it work again. Your spouse deserves your total honesty and if you are sincere, hopefully, you will never be in a position where you have to ask how to mend a marriage after an affair ever again.
If you are wondering how to mend a marriage after an affair then
you are in a difficult place right now. It is not easy to restore trust
with a loved one when one party has had an affair.
There is hope if you are sincere, have a forgiving partner and play your cards right. Visit Cupids In Love Again to learn how you should tackle this difficult situation.
There is hope if you are sincere, have a forgiving partner and play your cards right. Visit Cupids In Love Again to learn how you should tackle this difficult situation.
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